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Submissive versus Slave - 7/4/2008 3:38:34 PM   
GentlemanBobIII


Posts: 63
Joined: 6/19/2008
From: Robinson Twp (Pittsburgh Area) PA
Status: offline 		First of All Happy 4th of July to everyone. Yes the newbie is back w/ more questions. Y'all have been so nice about being patient and answering them and w/o calling me stupid, which I really appreciate, which has encouraged me to ask more questions. I will post questions seperately as it was suggested in one response to my post, how I asked "about 6 questions in a row and not coming up for air.." What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? I understand, from what I've read in the forums, that a slave by his very nature, must be submissive. However a submissive does not neccesarily have to be a slave. I think. Are the two terms interchangeable, like Domme and Mistress? (BTW thank you to those of you who replied to my post on that.) As near as I can figure, slave is a permanent 24/7 position where submissive is just a temporary position? I have read personals where dommes were seeking slaves but not submissives and vice versa. Can you please clarify the distinction between the two? Thank You, Bob 

_____________________________

"We are put here on Earth to do good to others; What the others are here for, I don't know"-WH Auden
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RE: Submissive versus Slave - 7/4/2008 3:42:55 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Please use the "Search" function in the upper right hand corner.  This is probably the most-asked question on the message boards, and it pisses people off to see it again and again.  Part of the reason is that there is no consensus, and the people who post end up going round and round.

But my take on your posts, Bob, is that you need to meet some people in real life.  All this gets less confusing if you see actual people in healthy BDSM relationships.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to GentlemanBobIII)
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RE: Submissive versus Slave - 7/4/2008 3:48:13 PM   
opposingtwilight


Posts: 684
Joined: 6/13/2008
Status: offline 		I think the terms should just be interchangable like domina and mistress or dominant and master. Saves on arguements and really, the difference (if there were any) only matters to those involved in a given relationship.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: Submissive versus Slave - 7/4/2008 3:48:51 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Honestly, there is no set definition.  It's going to vary depending on who you ask.  Some consider the terms interchangeable, and some have specific definitions for each.  The sub vrs slave debate has been around these forums longer than I have, and if you type any version of the question into the 'search' option at the bottom right of the page, you're bound to get a slew of threads on the topic.  Reading them all could take the better part of a day.

Just for conversation's sake, I'm one of the people who sees sub and slave as two different things, just the same as I see Dominant and Mistress as two different things, but that's just Me.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to GentlemanBobIII)
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RE: Submissive versus Slave - 7/4/2008 3:56:23 PM   
SadisticalDomme


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/6/2007
Status: offline 		Wow do I remember this question from when I was new….and there were as many answers as there were people willing to answer, the popular ones were:
 
1. a submissive is unowned a slave is owned
2. a submissive retains some rights a slave gives up all rights
3. a submissive is one who likes to give a slave is one who lives to give
4. submissive is nature, slave is a calling
 
In the end it is all semantics, some people simply have an aversion to the word slave, others feel calling themselves a slave shows a deeper level of their willingness to submit. What people tend to label themselves does not really change who they are or who they are capable of being in the right hands, and no matter what word you choose your ultimate definition will come from your relationship not from a dictionary. Parameters are set by those involved, not by concepts or semantics.

(in reply to GentlemanBobIII)
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RE: Submissive versus Slave - 7/4/2008 4:08:12 PM   
GentlemanBobIII


Posts: 63
Joined: 6/19/2008
From: Robinson Twp (Pittsburgh Area) PA
Status: offline 		Just my luck I have to ask a question that will piss off the people I'm hoping to become friends with. (Charlie Brown style) AUUUGGGHH (hitting head against tree). Thanks for the heads up maybe I should just stop posting altogether my stupid questions. AS far as meeting people goes it would be nice but a) what bdsm couple would agree to this observation and b) I live in Pittsburgh PA no munches no get togethers, no dungeons, that I am aware of at least. Come to think about it, I only remember seeing one other profile listed IN Pittsburgh.  -Bob 

< Message edited by GentlemanBobIII -- 7/4/2008 4:14:18 PM >

_____________________________

"We are put here on Earth to do good to others; What the others are here for, I don't know"-WH Auden

(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: Submissive versus Slave - 7/4/2008 4:14:33 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Yep, the Search feature is your friend.  Beyond that, there's no set definition for the difference between the two.  My girl is a "switch" in that she likes to dominate men but she's my "slave."  However, she's occasionally a smartass and sarcastic so others might classify her as a "sub."  It's all a matter of perspective.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to GentlemanBobIII)
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RE: Submissive versus Slave - 7/4/2008 4:21:28 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GentlemanBobIII

First of All Happy 4th of July to everyone. Yes the newbie is back w/ more questions. Y'all have been so nice about being patient and answering them and w/o calling me stupid, which I really appreciate, which has encouraged me to ask more questions. I will post questions seperately as it was suggested in one response to my post, how I asked "about 6 questions in a row and not coming up for air.." What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? I understand, from what I've read in the forums, that a slave by his very nature, must be submissive. However a submissive does not neccesarily have to be a slave. I think. Are the two terms interchangeable, like Domme and Mistress? (BTW thank you to those of you who replied to my post on that.) As near as I can figure, slave is a permanent 24/7 position where submissive is just a temporary position? I have read personals where dommes were seeking slaves but not submissives and vice versa. Can you please clarify the distinction between the two? Thank You, Bob 


A submissive is a person who calls himself a submissive.  A slave is a person who calls himself a slave.  As there are as many definitions of both of these words as there are people in the lifestyle, the best answer is the one you get from the person you're seriously talking to.

(in reply to GentlemanBobIII)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Submissive versus Slave - 7/4/2008 4:22:47 PM   
MamaDomme1


Posts: 377
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GentlemanBobIII

AS far as meeting people goes it would be nice but a) what bdsm couple would agree to this observation and b) I live in Pittsburgh PA no munches no get togethers, no dungeons, that I am aware of at least. Come to think about it, I only remember seeing one other profile listed IN Pittsburgh.  -Bob 


bob, bob, bob ........... get your head outta your ass and do some real searching.  Google is your best friend, hun.
I went to Google, typed in "pittsburgh bdsm groups" in the search bar, hit enter, and guess what?

Results 1 - 10 of about 76,800 for pittsburgh bdsm groups. (0.39 seconds)

(in reply to GentlemanBobIII)
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RE: Submissive versus Slave - 7/4/2008 4:56:20 PM   
GentlemanBobIII


Posts: 63
Joined: 6/19/2008
From: Robinson Twp (Pittsburgh Area) PA
Status: offline 		Sorry MamaDomme I didn't mean to iritate you. Thanks for your help maam. (looks to left) Woohoo I graduated from merely "curious" to "newbie".  I guess thats good. -Bob

_____________________________

"We are put here on Earth to do good to others; What the others are here for, I don't know"-WH Auden

(in reply to MamaDomme1)
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RE: Submissive versus Slave - 7/4/2008 5:00:27 PM   
MamaDomme1


Posts: 377
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline 		Bob, we all have to start our learning process somewhere.  You didn't irritate me at all-- on the contrary, you make me realize how many are just getting able to explore this wonderful lifestyle.  And so, with that said, I am grateful for you coming in with your questions...... makes me understand how truly blessed I am to have discovered this many years ago.

But seriously, hit up Google and find some local munches and groups......... internet will never give you reality like a real life meeting will.

(in reply to GentlemanBobIII)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Submissive versus Slave - 7/4/2008 5:07:42 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GentlemanBobIII

Sorry MamaDomme I didn't mean to iritate you. Thanks for your help maam. (looks to left) Woohoo I graduated from merely "curious" to "newbie".  I guess thats good. -Bob


Just be thankful you didnt eat Her ice cream....

As for the slave/submissive thing. i dont see a difference and am happy to be called either.

(in reply to GentlemanBobIII)
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RE: Submissive versus Slave - 7/4/2008 5:09:50 PM   
TermsConditions


Posts: 446
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline 		Quick Bob! Create a diversion by posting to ask Why do Mistresses *REQUIRE* tribute?"

You will be Sen~or Pop-U-lar before you can spell "What's the most humiliating way you force your slave to eat his cum?: 


Welcome to CM! And remember, the only stupid question is the question un-asked. Unless your quesion pisses people off.

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to GentlemanBobIII)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Submissive versus Slave - 7/4/2008 5:58:14 PM   
GentlemanBobIII


Posts: 63
Joined: 6/19/2008
From: Robinson Twp (Pittsburgh Area) PA
Status: offline 		I think it was the way you said "get your head ouut your ass" that I took to mean you were irritated. /most of the time w2hen someone says that they are NOT in a good mood. Heck, I'm glad you are here, you are one of the nicest(not to mention prettiest) Dommes I never met. -Bob

_____________________________

"We are put here on Earth to do good to others; What the others are here for, I don't know"-WH Auden

(in reply to MamaDomme1)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Submissive versus Slave - 7/4/2008 6:03:29 PM   
MamaDomme1


Posts: 377
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline 		Naw, I tell people that all the time and just love them to pieces!  If I had truly been irritated, there would have been no question in anyone's minds....... but I don't do that on  message forums...... am a mod on too many and have too much respect for myself.  I would have taken it up with you in message on the other side if there had ever been "an issue".

This is cyberspace, I don't take any of it very seriously, most of the time.

(in reply to GentlemanBobIII)
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RE: Submissive versus Slave - 7/4/2008 6:08:42 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

What is the difference between a submissive and a slave?


A submissive is fatter.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to GentlemanBobIII)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Submissive versus Slave - 7/4/2008 10:06:23 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GentlemanBobIII

First of All Happy 4th of July to everyone. Yes the newbie is back w/ more questions. Y'all have been so nice about being patient and answering them and w/o calling me stupid, which I really appreciate, which has encouraged me to ask more questions. I will post questions seperately as it was suggested in one response to my post, how I asked "about 6 questions in a row and not coming up for air.." What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? I understand, from what I've read in the forums, that a slave by his very nature, must be submissive. However a submissive does not neccesarily have to be a slave. I think. Are the two terms interchangeable, like Domme and Mistress? (BTW thank you to those of you who replied to my post on that.) As near as I can figure, slave is a permanent 24/7 position where submissive is just a temporary position? I have read personals where dommes were seeking slaves but not submissives and vice versa. Can you please clarify the distinction between the two? Thank You, Bob 


To me, consensual slaves have far fewer limits than submissives, that's all.

Happy 4th :)

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e


(in reply to GentlemanBobIII)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Submissive versus Slave - 7/5/2008 12:13:06 AM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		For myself I certainly do believe there's a diffrence. Slaves have no rights when in a realtionship but those who own them allow them, they have no rights but those who own them allow them, they have own no property when they're owned, and they have no right to say no to anything.Once they choose the man they'll be a s*lave to, they have no rights to negotiate and, don't tell their Master's what they will and won't do. Subs to me on the other hand have rights and negotiate and  and make descions and are under no ones thumb. But then again I did say FOR ME, since those are my opinions only.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

As for the slave/submissive thing. i dont see a difference and am happy to be called either.

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Submissive versus Slave - 7/5/2008 12:47:19 AM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss
For myself I certainly do believe there's a diffrence. Slaves have no rights when in a realtionship but those who own them allow them, they have no rights but those who own them allow them, they have own no property when they're owned, and they have no right to say no to anything.Once they choose the man they'll be a s*lave to, they have no rights to negotiate and, don't tell their Master's what they will and won't do. Subs to me on the other hand have rights and negotiate and  and make descions and are under no ones thumb. But then again I did say FOR ME, since those are my opinions only


Sorry, but I don't buy it.  No matter what you may consider yourself, the law considers you a free person.  By law, you CANNOT give up your rights.  You may like to think of yourself as a "no rights" slave, but you still have the right to walk away.  You still have the right to revoke consent at any time.

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Submissive versus Slave - 7/5/2008 1:05:05 AM   
DelilahDeb


Posts: 429
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		Bob,

1. Yahoo Groups has munch groups for almost EVERYwhere. But, unfortunately, you have to be *in* their adults-only area in order to search for adults-only groups. In order to get to their adults-only groups, you'll have to create an *adult* (over 21) profile for a Yahoo ID.
Here are some relevant yahoo group names that you'll find:
groups.yahoo.com/group/____________ (fill in the blank)

munch groups (omitting "TNG", the younger set munches)
Three_Rivers_Munch
Wild-OPghSouth

BDSM groups (a sampling)
PRIMAL_Pittsburgh
southcentralpaalt
InnerSanctumatLaDomaine (for-profit BDSM club)
Pittsburgh_Lifestyle
BDSM_IronCity

And, Bob? You might want to search the "Ask a Submissive/Slave" forum for the topic of your original post.

2. IMNSHO, slaves, even the slaves of my close acquaintance, are subs going to an extreme. Slavery is just not how I operate. It's their kink, and thus their privilege, to use the terms that they choose. Words have power, and thus I choose mine with caution.

Lady Delilah Deb

< Message edited by DelilahDeb -- 7/5/2008 1:10:59 AM >

_____________________________

"All acts of love & pleasure are My rituals."
--from the Charge of the Goddess, a Wiccan teaching

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
Profile   Post #: 20
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