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Jumping into the Real World - 7/4/2008 7:07:51 PM   
HaoleBuilt


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/30/2008
Status: offline 		This seems like it would be a common topic but I didn't see it around, so forgive me if I'm retreading common ground. I've been learning about BDSM for a little while now online and it seems like a common refrain among people is "get out and meet people in your area". This seems fair enough but begs the question what is the best way to do that? You can't exactly stroll up to somebody and ask if they'd like to tie you a chair after all. I'd be interested in starting out with a local social club or group, but haven't the faintest clue where to start outside of a google search. Are there any groups or clubs that are generally accepted as reputable? Is there anything to look for when shopping around? Or is it really all just a matter of personal preference and due diligence?
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RE: Jumping into the Real World - 7/4/2008 7:12:42 PM   
brat4fun


Posts: 47
Joined: 4/27/2008
Status: offline 		It worked well for me to have something in my profile indicating that I wanted to find out more about my local community.  I see you have that as well.  Also, it might not be a bad idea to send polite messages to some of the folks in your area asking for info about local activities.

Good luck with your search!
Anne

(in reply to HaoleBuilt)
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RE: Jumping into the Real World - 7/4/2008 8:15:15 PM   
HaoleBuilt


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/30/2008
Status: offline 		I tried looking around a bit and its all dead link, dead link, escort service, dead link, extremely sketchy site. Its seems like you're right, finding the local scene will probably just mean asking around.

(in reply to brat4fun)
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RE: Jumping into the Real World - 7/4/2008 8:22:38 PM   
suessub


Posts: 71
Joined: 1/18/2008
Status: offline 		in my neck of the woods, it is "Black Rose" that is the main group with a solid reputation. They have a resipocity relationship with other groups, so I assume those groups might be trusted. You might try working through the related groups until you find one in you area. I say that seeing you are San Diego, which I would imagine might have trusted group.

_____________________________

"Cause people often talk about being scared of change
But for me I'm more afraid of things staying the same
Cause the game is never won by standing in any one place for too long "
- Nick Cave

(in reply to brat4fun)
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RE: Jumping into the Real World - 7/4/2008 8:27:23 PM   
HaoleBuilt


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/30/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: suessub

in my neck of the woods, it is "Black Rose" that is the main group with a solid reputation. They have a resipocity relationship with other groups, so I assume those groups might be trusted. You might try working through the related groups until you find one in you area. I say that seeing you are San Diego, which I would imagine might have trusted group.


Thanks, this is the sort of info I am looking for. As a small correction though I live in Hawaii, I think you replied to the wrong person by mistake. I wish I was looking in San Diego, I imagine it would be a lot easier.

My big issues in looking for groups are reputation and discretion. Having looked at blackrose I can say thats definitely a good example.


< Message edited by HaoleBuilt -- 7/4/2008 8:31:30 PM >

(in reply to suessub)
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RE: Jumping into the Real World - 7/4/2008 8:30:56 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings haolebuilt,

contact people on cm in your area. we have a few on cm from where i'm from who are active in the local community...well, they were before our local community kind of fell apart. google searches honestly aren't a bad place to start, although as i found out, often the information is outdated - so you might want to be careful of that. being that you're in honolulu, i'm guessing your local scene might be a teensy bit bigger than ours...so good luck. but really, there's no right way - just getting to know others on cm also in the area who might be able to direct you to local munches and things of that nature is a great way to start, though.

good luck.
a'ishah.


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(in reply to HaoleBuilt)
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RE: Jumping into the Real World - 7/4/2008 8:33:50 PM   
pettingdragons


Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline 		Yahoo groups, and Meetup.com are popular also....but brat4fun is right posting on the intro page or in your profile may help you.....


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pettingdragons
"may the moon bless you with her light.......so you dont pee on your feet"

(in reply to HaoleBuilt)
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RE: Jumping into the Real World - 7/4/2008 8:51:01 PM   
MsSarai


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/12/2008
Status: offline 		There is a real world?! Oh Damn, knew I was missing something!

Sorry HaoleBuilt, couldn't resist being a smartass.  But look up your nearest big city, with the word Munch, (ie: Chicago Munch.) that should come up with some hits to get you started.

(in reply to brat4fun)
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RE: Jumping into the Real World - 7/4/2008 9:10:25 PM   
PatienceForHer


Posts: 12
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline 		Yahoo groups in your area are definitely a good start!

Another good way to make connections in your area is through MAsT (Masters and slaves Together) which is a national organization.  You can locate a local chapter on their website http://mast.net/.

Best,
patience

< Message edited by PatienceForHer -- 7/4/2008 9:17:22 PM >

(in reply to MsSarai)
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RE: Jumping into the Real World - 7/4/2008 9:50:10 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline 		Hi.

If your brave and ready for in person groups you can check your local newspaper for bdsm clubs, munches, groups, and parties. Leather shops, and adult and kink shops will know of local bdsm groups too.

To start off more cautiously searching online is a great way to start. Find an online club and get to know people by email and chat first and then meet with them when your both ready. It's often safer to start online before meeting in person.

_____________________________

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http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

(in reply to HaoleBuilt)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Jumping into the Real World - 7/4/2008 10:47:52 PM   
MasterPaulos


Posts: 8
Joined: 12/15/2004
Status: offline 		I meet BDSM people in the oddest places in the Real World, I just keep my eyes open.

(in reply to AcademyForSlaves)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Jumping into the Real World - 7/4/2008 11:36:31 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline 		{Fast Reply}

Caryl's list is an excellent resource.  Go here, click "Organizations.  http://www.drkdesyre.com/indexB.html

(in reply to MasterPaulos)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Jumping into the Real World - 7/4/2008 11:53:17 PM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline 		Since you're in Honolulu you can try to meet someone on the local Craigslist Casual Encounters
http://honolulu.craigslist.org/cgi-bin/personals.cgi?category=cas

Bear in mind, you're a guy looking for a gal so your post-to-response ratio will be dismally small; just keep up the faith as there is someone out there (quite a few someones out there) who want to play with you ... you just don't know them yet but you will, over time. Patience is a virtue when looking for the right female partner.

Another local resources I can find for you by googling is the Eros Guide Honolulu ( http://eros-honolulu.com/sections/hawaii_bdsm_d.htm ) where you can find local Dommes willing to top you (e.g., Starlight http://www.modelmayhem.com/member.php?id=396073 or Jaid http://www.eros-hawaii.com/files/hi-jaid3-jaid1.htm).

I don't know if there is a dungeon in your area (a quick search didn't find any) nor munches (again, not found in a quick search) but you can do more extensive searches and find both to your liking to meet prospective Dommes. If you were in the Silicon Valley, I'd have more pointers for you ... but, for now, I hope this is helpful.


(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Jumping into the Real World - 7/5/2008 12:36:56 AM   
Duskwolf


Posts: 192
Joined: 2/18/2007
From: Perth, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterPaulos

I meet BDSM people in the oddest places in the Real World, I just keep my eyes open.


I'm very similar in this sense, though they're few and far between, and where I'm from, there doesn't seem to be much by the way of meets/munches/etc to attend (Read as: None). I have a few good friends who are involved with various aspects of BDSM, and they were friends before I found out they had the interest... Most people I meet in the Real World and can identify traits in, never seem to be more than acquaintances...

On the topic though, I have to agree with those who say to add something to your profile to mention it, it would probably be the best option.

(in reply to MasterPaulos)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Jumping into the Real World - 7/5/2008 12:45:11 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		Hello welcome to C.M. I suggest going to a local much, a munch incase you don't know is a casual meeting of people into BDSM, they're often held in vanilla places so you don't have to worry about wear rubber/leather etc. and there's little or no 'tude-no one's going to be overty Dominant or submissive.

Log onto "Informed Consent" and look at the events pages for munches and other events that might take Y/your fancy in Y/you local area.

Have fun.

Just noticed where you live so I.C won't be any help, sorry. Good luck anyway.

< Message edited by HalloweenWhite -- 7/5/2008 12:48:22 AM >

(in reply to HaoleBuilt)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Jumping into the Real World - 7/5/2008 7:03:15 PM   
HaoleBuilt


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/30/2008
Status: offline 		Its unfortunate that theres no munches or anything like that on Oahu (I checked fairly thoroughly) since that seems like a good place to start. Hawaii has unique challenges in that we can't skip one town over to meet people (well not unless I bring my scuba gear). Still plenty of helpful advice and leads so thanks for that. I'll keep pounding the google searches, PMs, and websites. I know theres people around here -somewhere-.

(in reply to HalloweenWhite)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Jumping into the Real World - 7/5/2008 7:11:19 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		On the Maui BDSM list, there is a post from a woman who says she is active in the Oahu BDSM community.  You might want to check that out here.

Cali


_____________________________

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(in reply to HaoleBuilt)
Profile   Post #: 17
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