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MsFay -> RE: "Submissive" males angry at themselves / their desires (7/8/2008 8:25:18 PM)
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Well, I don't agree with you. No one "has to do" anything that he or she doesn't like. As a domme, I would never force anyone, male or woman, to do anything that they aren't really into. *Of course* <eg>, I will push their buttons and limits to turn them on into getting them to do something that they normally would be mortified to do. I especially love getting a man aroursed by the idea of sucking cock for me or sucking my large, black strapon and turning him into a total whore. Some guys get into that others fight it and still others just tell me "fuck you bitch." LOL And I like the idea of a woman that is hetero being turned into a pussy-licking whore for me with another woman too. And trust me, there are women that have been angry about that conflict too. So the anger you speak of is not male or female but just an individual thing. Also as much as there are males out there that are angry with women, I have to say there are more angry women out there pissed off at guys and some have conveniently hidden behind the "femdom" title. But people like this you spot miles away and you should keep miles away from them, regardless of gender. In RL, I am no where near the heartless bitch that my profile might read as. I am actually quite sensual but I admit I am a total power-exchange junkie and get off BIG time on humiliation with my subs, be it male or female. BUT I love both men and women, but more men for relationships. So let's not bash the guys about a trait that is not unique or peculiar to any gender and put this issue into better perspective shall we? It is easy to read someone's message and read it one way without knowing fully what might be motivating it. The sad reality is that there is often a lot of relationship issues and past baggage and incidents of sexual abuse with many in our community, regardless of what orientation, gender, or power hierarchy someone might identify with. However trite, it is true. And I have known more than a few who wrestle with these demons. That is why it is very important you get to know your partner and communicate with them before more provoking play or you might end up with just what someone on here said: an explosive situation.
Short story. I had a friend (past tense) that had a bf she was madly in love with and adored and literally bent over backwards for him, taking it anally most of the time. To him, it was just kinky play. But to her it was the most intimate thing and proof that they were "forever." Well, it didn't end up that way, and when they broke up (he left her), she went ballistic and even turned on friends, accusing them of wild accusations, such as me and another women having cheated with said ex (never happened). Now, she is a "natural born dominant" and has "always been so" she tells people, meanwhile I and a few others know all the salacious details that she revealed to us in her nuclear melt down. Her penchant now is to fuck guys with a strapon and break up with them. Hmm... Does that sound like she might have an angry management issue? LOL So it is not a male or female thing by a long shot.
And just to be fair, some people are just mean, some stupid, and not everyone is a victim of abuse with some past issue that is haunting them, but I think that when you see this kind of angry, it usually is an indication of some form of trauma, regret, or disappointment and a want for revenge. With women, our outlet is usually writing and the more repeatative or obsessive the themes of the writing and quantity, the bigger the issues. Guys, let's be honest, usually use bullets as their form of therapy when really pissed unfortunately as the news is testament all too often.
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