How do you feel when S/He says no?.

How do you feel when S/He says no?. (Full Version)

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HalloweenWhite -> How do you feel when S/He says no?. (7/7/2008 8:28:26 AM)
ok, I expect this is a dumb question and I think I know the answer anyway but I wanted to ask how you feel if you ask your owner if you can get them anything, or do anything and They say no. Do you feel bored or frustrated or even angry because you aren't actively serving? If this happen frequently, would you question the stability of the relationship? would you want out? would you think your Owner wan't cut out to own you?. Braces himself for a right-royal flaming.

Wildfleurs -> RE: How do you feel when S/He says no?. (7/7/2008 8:45:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HalloweenWhite ok, I expect this is a dumb question and I think I know the answer anyway but I wanted to ask how you feel if you ask your owner if you can get them anything, or do anything and They say no. Do you feel bored or frustrated or even angry because you aren't actively serving? If this happen frequently, would you question the stability of the relationship? would you want out? would you think your Owner wan't cut out to own you?. Braces himself for a right-royal flaming. No I wouldn't feel that way but honestly I wouldn't ask my owner such a vague and open ended question. Thats the kind of question I'd expect from a waitress that didn't know me at all, not the sort of question I think is appropriate for someone I know pretty well and also through observation know many of his habits and preferences. Additionally I think asking someone if I can do anything isn't really proactive service at all and is rather passive (which isn't really my owners preferred style). C~

LadyRainfire -> RE: How do you feel when S/He says no?. (7/7/2008 9:00:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HalloweenWhite ok, I expect this is a dumb question and I think I know the answer anyway but I wanted to ask how you feel if you ask your owner if you can get them anything, or do anything and They say no. Do you feel bored or frustrated or even angry because you aren't actively serving? If this happen frequently, would you question the stability of the relationship? would you want out? would you think your Owner wan't cut out to own you?. Braces himself for a right-royal flaming. First off, I would hope you don't get flamed for an honest question, HW. It sounds like to me that you're seriously asking, and not to be a smartass. So I'm going to answer you seriously. :) Depending on my mood, I feel sad or frustrated at times. I wish I could do more, I want to do whatever I can to please and serve Him. Most of the time I just accept the fact that there's nothing I can do right then for Him and keep an eye and ear open for when I can do something. Would I question the stability of our relationship or want out? Excuse the loudness but HELL NO!!!! Lumus is not the type that needs me waiting on him hand and foot and we knew this going into the relationship. I accept that there will be times I can do more and times I can do less for him. My serving him doesn't reflect the validity of our relationship or our love. Other issues would and those would be the ones that we would be talking about. Hope this helps. [:)]

Mercnbeth -> RE: How do you feel when S/He says no?. (7/7/2008 9:00:32 AM)
quote: Do you feel bored or frustrated or even angry because you aren't actively serving? no. this slave is on-call 24/7, has no other that she serves or is in the employ of, and has yet to feel bored, frustrated or angry when Master responds to a question of if He needs/wants anything with a "no". quote: If this happen frequently, would you question the stability of the relationship? would you want out? would you think your Owner wan't cut out to own you?. it happens daily...He uses His slave daily, at HIS discretion. it is *expected* that this slave will offer her self for His use, however, there is no expectation on this slave's part as to what His response will be---that is up to Him. HIS pleasure is paramount.

BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: How do you feel when S/He says no?. (7/7/2008 10:38:29 AM)
Sometimes, when I'm really needing my slave warm fuzzies and He doesn't allow me to do something for Him, I feel let down. If He never let me do for Him, then it wouldn't be a fulfilling relationship. I'm sure there are times when dominants don't always realize that we need those warm fuzzies, and that's where we have to communicate that need to them. However, being the dominant, they get to decide if we get to serve them or not, and we get to do it when they want us to, not when we want it to happen. Funny how that works, huh? [;)]

sublizzie -> RE: How do you feel when S/He says no?. (7/7/2008 10:55:57 AM)
When he chooses to allow me to do something for him it is a particularly nice gift. He isn't used to having a service-oriented submissive around so it takes thought on his part not to jump in and do for himself. I know that if he doesn't allow me to provide that kind of service it's because that is what he prefers at that moment. It has nothing to do with whether or not our relationship is going well.

gypsygrl -> RE: How do you feel when S/He says no?. (7/7/2008 11:00:29 AM)
quote: how you feel if you ask your owner if you can get them anything, or do anything and They say no. The only time I would ask this is if I was getting myself something, then I would ask if they wanted anything, or if I had finished doing something and didn't have anything else to do, I would check to see if there was anything they wanted before occupying myself. Its more a matter of consideration than anything else, so I don't feel let down or anything if they say no. After a scene, I'll generally offer to get them something (a drink or whatever) and its up to them to decide if they want something or not. I would expect the service part of our relationship to either be outlined via routine tasks that I was responsible for, or direct order/instructions. When they need something, I trust they'll let me know. If they don't need anything, ever, then, yes, I would begin to wonder if we were right for each other. My first D/s relationship was like that. We played and stuff but there was no where to take it beyond that.

Sabella -> RE: How do you feel when S/He says no?. (7/7/2008 11:03:54 AM)
The only time I get frustrated or yes even angry is when I know I could be doing something to help him and he is refusing my help because of his pride. But I know that is my problem, hard as it is to deal with from time to time. And I have to console myself with the thought of "well, I offered - and if I continue to push he'll get angry and the issue will escalate" and then let it go.

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: How do you feel when S/He says no?. (7/7/2008 11:06:23 AM)
nope, don't feel frustrated if he wants to do something for himself or to assist me with something. it's fun sharing like that.

HalloweenWhite -> RE: How do you feel when S/He says no?. (7/7/2008 11:14:13 AM)
Yes it does help, thanks.

greenearth21 -> RE: How do you feel when S/He says no?. (7/7/2008 11:41:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HalloweenWhite ok, I expect this is a dumb question and I think I know the answer anyway but I wanted to ask how you feel if you ask your owner if you can get them anything, or do anything and They say no. Do you feel bored or frustrated or even angry because you aren't actively serving? If this happen frequently, would you question the stability of the relationship? would you want out? would you think your Owner wan't cut out to own you?. Braces himself for a right-royal flaming. I'm not a flamer, just a lover. :) you can breathe. I figure if they say no, they just dont want anything at that time and when they do they'll either get it themselves or they'll tell/ask me to do it and I will. Not bored, frustrated or angry. I dont feel like i have to be serving 24/7 to be content in my relationship. The idea and knowledge of being available to serve when needed is all I need. I think i would think i want an out if they proved incapable of doing one single thing on their own. If i was a pure service sub, i could see how all that could be frustrating and make me feel shaky in the relationship. If my needs arent being met (and i know its not all about my needs, but sheesh i'm human and yes i have needs to) after discussion, then i'm sure i'd want out and maybe seek a dom who would work my tail till i couldnt see straight :)

littleone35 -> RE: How do you feel when S/He says no?. (7/7/2008 11:43:56 AM)
Nope i don't feel let down or anything if i ask and he says no. It just means that aht that particular moment he does not need or want anything . I know when he has need of me he will let me know. Do i question the stability of out relationship? Of course not we have been together for while now if i questioned it eveytme he did not want anything at the moment we would not be together today. Matt's littleone

RealSub58 -> RE: How do you feel when S/He says no?. (7/7/2008 1:56:03 PM)
Someone wrote this last week on another thread, but it also fits very well in response ~~~ When i feel a conflict between obedience and my desire to please, i check my focus. When i adjust my focus to Him, the conflict is resolved.

RCdc -> RE: How do you feel when S/He says no?. (7/7/2008 2:39:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HalloweenWhite ok, I expect this is a dumb question and I think I know the answer anyway but I wanted to ask how you feel if you ask your owner if you can get them anything, or do anything and They say no. Do you feel bored or frustrated or even angry because you aren't actively serving? If this happen frequently, would you question the stability of the relationship? would you want out? would you think your Owner wan't cut out to own you?. Braces himself for a right-royal flaming. When Darcy needs nothing, or wishes me to do nothing - or if I ask if there is something he requires and he replies no - then I serve his desire. I'm still serving, how can that be a let down? the.dark.

kiwisub12 -> RE: How do you feel when S/He says no?. (7/7/2008 2:44:38 PM)
My Sir has no qualms about directing me, so i typically don't have to ask him if he wants anything. In fact i think if he got annoyed at me for asking he would tell me to clean the toilet or fold the laundry ( i am not by any way, shape or means, a domestic goddess) grins. There is always something in the house that needs to be cleaned if i should get the unlikely urge to "serve". and no - i would not question our relationship - our relationship is based on body service - not domestic service.

malloves69 -> RE: How do you feel when S/He says no?. (7/7/2008 2:45:35 PM)
dang and i always thought darcy was the woman [:)] learn something new everyday i guess ..have fun mal [:)]

RCdc -> RE: How do you feel when S/He says no?. (7/7/2008 2:55:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: malloves69 dang and i always thought darcy was the woman [:)] learn something new everyday i guess ..have fun mal [:)] Hi mal! Maybe it might help to read peoples profiles.[;)] Mind you - sometimes that comes back to bite you too - someone, somewhere will wonder why someone read their profile and then will go on to complain...[:D] the.verymuchfemale.dark.[sm=kiss.gif]

beargonewild -> RE: How do you feel when S/He says no?. (7/7/2008 3:29:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HalloweenWhite ok, I expect this is a dumb question and I think I know the answer anyway but I wanted to ask how you feel if you ask your owner if you can get them anything, or do anything and They say no. Do you feel bored or frustrated or even angry because you aren't actively serving? If this happen frequently, would you question the stability of the relationship? would you want out? would you think your Owner wan't cut out to own you?. Braces himself for a right-royal flaming. I really couldn't say I'd feel bored or frustrated because not being able to serve Sir all the time. Granted there are occasions where I wished I could be serving him more but I also know that it is not for me to force onto him what I want to do, Sir is still an individual with a mind of his own. At this point in our relationship, the d/s aspect strongly influences our interaction yet doesn't totally dictate it either. We both keep in mind that our relationship is based upon equality which we incorporated enough of the dominance and submission that works for us.

ownedgirlie -> RE: How do you feel when S/He says no?. (7/7/2008 3:53:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark When Darcy needs nothing, or wishes me to do nothing - or if I ask if there is something he requires and he replies no - then I serve his desire. I'm still serving, how can that be a let down? the.dark. What she said. (I'm stalking you today)

kyraofMists -> RE: How do you feel when S/He says no?. (7/7/2008 4:57:20 PM)
I really enjoy being told 'no', but that is mostly in response to my asking permission to meet a want I have. In our house, if we are in the same building (which usually means at home, but it could be hotel room or someone else's home) and 60 minutes goes by where we have not directly interacted with him, we are to go seek him out and ask if we can be of service. Because of this protocol, I am often told no and it isn't really a big deal. I spend a significant amount of time actively serving him, so being told 'no' is not an issue. However, before I moved into the house, there were times that not being able to directly serve him was stressful. It was something that I had to work through and shift my focus to recognize all the ways that I am serving him even if there is no direct interaction involved. Knight's Kyra

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