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RE: good old days - 11/10/2005 8:57:54 PM   
ICGsteve


Posts: 202
Joined: 2/2/2005
Status: offline 		The "people are people" and "it has always been this way" arguments have reason to be doubted. People act differently in small groups than they do in large groups, and while it cannot be said that BDSM is now the norm it is much more normal than it was just a few decades ago. I have no reason to doubt that people who were active many years ago see that the lifestyle has changed and liked it better when it was less popular.

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: good old days - 11/10/2005 9:19:06 PM   
MastersPet46


Posts: 9
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline 		well like I said earlier.. its been interesting and refreshing to see soo many opinions.. Thankyou for taking the time to respond.. Its been appreciated

(in reply to ICGsteve)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: good old days - 11/11/2005 5:32:23 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		As I've said before, I take full personal responsibility for the entire downfall of life as wwe know it in the 25 years I've been around. Please send all complaints directly to me and I will get working on things as soon as possible. Thank you for your patience.

(in reply to MastersPet46)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: good old days - 11/11/2005 8:38:28 AM   
wipmebeetme100


Posts: 198
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

As I've said before, I take full personal responsibility for the entire downfall of life as wwe know it in the 25 years I've been around. Please send all complaints directly to me and I will get working on things as soon as possible. Thank you for your patience.


Now thats what i call dedication to the cause.

smiles,
cathy

_____________________________

Happiness is like peeing your pants: Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth
~Unknown

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: good old days - 11/11/2005 8:48:12 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The standards back then in the good old days were set up,To raise all of Us above the weakness of Vanila or straight world. We had the power of many.. and the power of standing united. To teach to learn.. to guide..
What is happening now is sad.. The whole realm has turned into a fiasco of using flesh and forgetting the mind.. Using people and forgetting the heart.. Telling stories and forgetting the truth.. I truely wish there were more old timers of the lifestyle that would teach more publicly.. and I wish there were more people willing to listen.
Anyway.. my heart was full.. and had to say my peice.. thankyou for listening

MasterPet46


This actually happened? i remember enough Sociology to recall small group dynamics, and the scenario You paint doesn't ring true for me UNLESS the whole group felt under seige by the outside world.

i wonder if You are referring to the 1950's style of life -- which applied to white, middle class families and virtually no one else -- in which the Man was at least ostenibly Head of Household, and the Woman and children lived (ostenisibly) by His rules.

Personally, i find looking back with nostalgia or regret a time-waster and energy-sapper. We are in the here-and-now; some things are better, some worse. i found out about D/s because of the 'net, and would never have had a real opportunity to learn or meet people or engage in any way without the 'net and sites like these.

Yes, i am aware there are "undesirables" on this site and others, but if You are including people who only want a play partner; or who can only go so far because of their marriages, i think You may be somewhat elistist. Yes, i seek a 24/7 TPE style relationship -- a life partner. However, simply because the person next to me wants something else does not diminish them or their wants/needs/desires any more than it elevates mine.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/11/2005 9:09:34 AM >

(in reply to MastersPet46)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: good old days - 11/11/2005 8:59:03 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

greetings MastersPet46,

I know where you are coming from and the new generation is only concerned with their instant gratification. I dont see honor and integrity anymore. This is about more than sex and fitting into a neatly packed box. I will stand strong with my convictions in tact throuhg the onslaught of the new movement in the BDSM lifestyle. It is almost like a fad now a days and I dont see lots earning their leather.

Master Six


i have no idea what is meant by "earning your leathers". Actually never heard the phrase before today. Don't know if it applies only to Doms/Masters/Dommes or to submissives and slaves as well. Don't know if this is "Old Guard" or "Gor".

However, i was born in 1953 and remember my parents watching the McCarthy Hearings on tv; i remember them politiking for Adali Stevenson. i rememeber them taking us to Mass and religious instruction. My parents were highly ethical, honorable people...and they passed those qualities to me...and i passed them to my kid. i think it has always been this way; people are primarially a product of nuture as to their ethics and consciences. i think there may be some tempted to lie by the 'net who did not lie about the same things before the 'net existed..but such people probably lied in other ways to suit themselves back then.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/11/2005 9:00:40 AM >

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: good old days - 11/11/2005 9:15:29 AM   
MistressYlwa


Posts: 263
Joined: 8/25/2005
Status: offline 		Things haven't changed all that much. I have been around for quite awhile. There were those back in "the good ole days" who used bdsm for personal gain: kinky sex, revenge, etc. The only difference between now and then is the ease of access to contact others.

There are PE and BDSM groups in just about every major city. They offer support, education, and comradery to anyone who choses to be there.

Things change. People change. It is life and we either learn to adapt or we are alone. Myself, adaptation has opened new doors and opportunities I did not have 20 yrs. ago. Give it a chance. You might be surprised.

Mistress Ylwa

You see what power is - holding someone elses fear in your hand and showing it to them! - Amy Tan

(in reply to MastersPet46)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: good old days - 11/11/2005 9:49:39 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
quote:

There was a code of honor back then. The good old days.. With integrity and honesty .. honesty to ourselves for what we wanted.. and the integrity to stand for All responsibilities involved in this lifestyle.

You forgot to mention the cute pink unicorns with pretty white ribbons laced through their manes eating sugar cubes out of our hands. Ah yes, I miss those days too.

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to MastersPet46)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: good old days - 11/11/2005 11:30:43 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
i have no idea what is meant by "earning your leathers". Actually never heard the phrase before today.

It's a common thought based on the leather based element of bdsm, where one has gone through the culture group and come to earn the respect of those around them. For example, the wearing of the leather cap or vest is often considered a special symbol of respect meant only for those who had been recognized by their group as earning it.

Obviously, these symbols have been adopted at large and hold a far more colloquial meaning to them today. Some people of course keep them in high esteem.

Think of it as the "no white after labor day" rule for kinksters.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: good old days - 11/11/2005 2:24:35 PM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:


However, i was born in 1953 and remember ....

--------

ummm-----yeah. me too. and MY memory long term is far better than it is short time.
and let me merely say........some of those, so called good ole days? well get up here on grandad's knee and lemme tell ya, they weren't ALL so damned good.
someone mentioned some politics...and names...
but ya only need to go to your library--oh wait----books are almost a thing of the past.......for all you youngsters....go online here and look up kennedys and king and yadda yadda blah blah.
not so good ole times.

welllll. guess i'll just sit here in my rocker, and watch the ole reruns of Mr. Ed-------that Wilber....he sure was a wierd one. (chuckles)

wolf

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: good old days - 11/11/2005 3:11:32 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross


Think of it as the "no white after labor day" rule for kinksters.


Please explain to this non US citizen

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: good old days - 11/11/2005 3:11:42 PM   
anthrosub


Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline 		I think the main issue at hand (and there's no cure for it) is this...

With the advent of the Internet, people who would otherwise have lived out their lives with their fantasies confined to the boundaries of their respective lives are now able to come out and play...in droves. I'm sure this has happened before whenever a new communication medium arrived but as we all know, technology seems to have an exponential affect. For example, before it was common place to send and receive mail, people had to do most of their communicating face to face. Afterwards, they were able to speak their mind without having to "represent" themselves in person, allowing them to sometimes come across in a way they would not have in the flesh.

The Internet adds yet another ingredient (in addition to the much larger audience)..."anonymity." Anyone can be anybody on the Internet. They may get found out eventually but until they do they are part of all the noise that must be filtered out when meeting people.

Although I was too young to have experienced it, I can imagine when people in the lifestyle sought each other out before the Internet, they were much more likely to find others genuinely interested in the lifestyle. Why? There was an investment in time and effort involved, plus having to "walk the walk" on the spot.

I'm very suspicious of the watershed of new members signing up here and elsewhere every single day. How many "Dominants" and "subs" under the age of 25 can claim to be accomplished in their respective orientation? How many "Dommes" are on this site who have the idea that the full scope of Domination is doing things her way simply because she says so? I could ask many more academic questions but I think this makes my point.

The flood of people online means there's more "categories" of Dominants and subs than existed prior to the Internet. The majority of these categories would likely not be recognized so much as being a "type" as being a "stage" of development by those who have full accomplishment to their name. In the four years I've been looking online, I can count what I consider to be accomplished Dommes on both hands with a few fingers left over. Of course, I realize this determination of mine is subjective but the point is still valid. There are simply too many pieces of straw to find the needle in the haystack anymore.

Finally, I think there's something to be said for having achieved a level of respect through real time interaction. In this sense, each person truly earns that respect as they had to do in the "good old days." With the Internet, there's too many people who are Dominant or submissive in name alone.

anthrosub

_____________________________

"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: good old days - 11/11/2005 4:41:49 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
Please explain to this non US citizen

Ahhh Labor Day is a US Holiday on the first Monday of September. Memorial Day is the last Monday of May.

Old fashion rules dictate that a woman shouldn't wear white shoes starting from Labor Day and going to Memorial Day.

Most people break that rule these days (although "winter white" has always been an acceptable color during any month) and it's not considered fashion canon anymore. But it's still a fairly well known rule of what "proper ladies" wear, and if caught breaking the rule, can be considered ill-bred.

Similarly, those who wear leather clothes known for their social symbolism without having it formally bestowed upon them. It's not considered canon anymore, but it's not in the best of taste either.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: good old days - 11/11/2005 6:28:35 PM   
topcat


Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline
quote:

i have no idea what is meant by "earning your leathers". Actually never heard the phrase before today. Don't know if it applies only to Doms/Masters/Dommes or to submissives and slaves as well. Don't know if this is "Old Guard" or "Gor".


dear Pink-

I'd call it 'old guard' rather than 'Old Guard'- and it's about making the scene, paying your dues, proving your mettle, rather than some codified ranking system.

Though LI Ravens, a male leather group here on my island, does have a such a dress code for it's members, noone has objected to my riding in full leathers at their events...

Stay warm,
Lawrence

< Message edited by topcat -- 11/11/2005 6:29:15 PM >

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: good old days - 11/11/2005 6:35:07 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		like the hats at races shit......for the queen, you know.

Ron
believe I owe YOU a fosters, mate.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: good old days - 11/11/2005 9:17:56 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		i think society itself has changed. i havent decided whether its a good or bad thing, or just a part of change and the processes that happen within it.
i think integrity, honesty, honor etc..is an indivudual thing.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: good old days - 11/11/2005 11:30:04 PM   
Phoenxx


Posts: 253
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Swift Current
Status: offline 		"Taxes are too high, children are disrespectful of their parents, workers are lazy."
Sound familiar? It was part of an essay written around the time some people say this Jebus Christ person was born.
I know one of the original leather men in our area. He has said how bytchy parts of the community is and was. And how times change, people cum and go, but human nature never changes. The good old days had their share of crap. And about the same percent as we have today.
Communication today is much cheaper and easier. Hell I have unlimited long distance calling all over North America evening and weekends for $20 a month. Unlimited DSL. And ten years ago I racked up a $1000 phone bill. Now I can talk all night to someone I meet online and not worry about the cost. That makes it easier to pass information but makes it easier to spread rumours too.
Times change. Customs change. Society changes. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Human nature stays the same.
Tony

(in reply to MastersPet46)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: good old days - 11/12/2005 12:00:13 AM   
Kasia


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressYlwa

There were those back in "the good ole days" who used bdsm for personal gain: kinky sex, revenge, etc.

What exactly is wrong with kinky sex that it has to be in the same sentence with personal revenge? Bdsmers never enjoy kinky sex? Its big no no? We should all have "higher motives" (whatever that may be)??
Kinky sex is personal gain? How nice - I never actually realised that I have kinky sex just for my personal gain. Must explain that to my partners to stop them enjoying it so much..... its something to be despised after all, not enjoyed

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: good old days - 11/12/2005 8:37:12 AM   
KittenWithaTwist


Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kasia


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressYlwa

There were those back in "the good ole days" who used bdsm for personal gain: kinky sex, revenge, etc.

What exactly is wrong with kinky sex that it has to be in the same sentence with personal revenge? Bdsmers never enjoy kinky sex? Its big no no? We should all have "higher motives" (whatever that may be)??
Kinky sex is personal gain? How nice - I never actually realised that I have kinky sex just for my personal gain. Must explain that to my partners to stop them enjoying it so much..... its something to be despised after all, not enjoyed


Good point! I never understood what the big miff was about kinky sex in a D/s or BDSM relationship! I mean, hello, some of us ENJOY being kinky and having sex, simultaneously. Weird that has to be taboo in a sub-community full of broken taboos.

_____________________________

"Time travel: It's a cornocopia of disturbing concepts." ~Ron Stoppable

(in reply to Kasia)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: good old days - 11/12/2005 11:08:57 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
There is absolutely no difference between these days and 'the good ole days' - and in 20 odd years these years will be someone elses good old days. In the good old days, there was death, sickness, extreme STD infections, more hiding, less chance to meet anyone. Maybe you were sheltered. Maybe you were closed and didnt have the oppotunity to explore the reality that was out there. And that was only 7 years or so ago... I have been around for over 20 years... (lordy I hate adding my years - I thought it was only about 14 before this...lol)

How about you? Are your good old days over 40?... of course not. Your only 46... maybe 30 years? Legally, thats the longest time possible. 40 Years is nothing... there are differences... some - good some bad. Mostly they are different - evolve or die. Its that simple.

Peace and Love

(in reply to MastersPet46)
Profile   Post #: 40
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