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The need to nurture - 7/7/2008 10:47:57 PM

Ladylocks

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Joined: 3/16/2008
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As people get older and their unmentionables grow up and move out I notice they tend to get pets to replace them to have something to care for. Has any of the ladies here taken on a sub to fullfill there need to nurture? Even though I never had concieved myself I still have a strong need to nurture and care for somebody. Having Dainty has helped. I can be quite strict and demanding but sometimes I just want to baby him and cradle him, usually just before bed. I love it when he is helpless in my arms, his face nestled in my breasts and he looks up at me with that look of absolute love in his eyes. He is my litttle girl who will never grow up and move out.

Post #: 1

RE: The need to nurture - 7/8/2008 8:04:20 AM

bobipanti

Posts: 87
Joined: 9/29/2005
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I would say that Your desire is my fantasy---To be a Dominant Woman's little girl with whom one can grow old and mature into a proper woman. Life can be fulfilling- I just need to find Your double closer to me!

(in reply to Ladylocks)

Post #: 2

RE: The need to nurture - 7/8/2008 8:45:41 AM

aidan

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I don't feel like Mistress sees me as a replacement for children, but She does have that deep-seated nurturing/protective streak, and it's one of many things I love about Her.

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RE: The need to nurture - 7/8/2008 9:03:49 AM

LadyHibiscus

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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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I am not a breeder, but I do the nurturing thing all the time. It's just my personality, and I am not "replacing" anything. I am a rescuer/caretaker/protector type. I am also an adult, who relates to other adults. I have fond memories of holding people safe in my arms, and of being held, too. I need my safe haven from the world outside, and anyone I am with probably does, too!

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Post #: 4

RE: The need to nurture - 7/8/2008 12:33:08 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
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From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
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The desire and need to nurture is not limited to dominants or women, i personally have a great urge to nurture. It comes out in most of my dealings with others, especially women; some people simply bring out that compulsion in me; for others it is a product of my love for them. My love for Ma'am is partially reflected in a desire to nurture Her; and i find nothing unsubmissive about that, nor do i feel it would be less than dominant of Her to indulge me in that occasionally.

Yes, i do know that for me it is, at least in part, due to a need to counterbalance the loss of my daughter. But, the impulse to nurture has been something that i carried within even as a child; so it cannot be entirely an attempt to replace children.

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(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 5

RE: The need to nurture - 7/8/2008 1:03:50 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Really, I think the desire is either there, or it isn't, it's not learned behavior. I've met many parents who have no empathy at all for their children.

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RE: The need to nurture - 7/8/2008 1:09:20 PM

Pyrrsefanie

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Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
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Believe it or not... I've got a maternal streak a mile wide. Always have. When I was little and kids would get hurt on the playground I'd be over there in a flash, even before the teachers got there to make sure they were okay and give them a hug while they cried. I made baby books for all of my dolls and filled it with all of the "pertinent" information -- first words, birth weight, location, first AND middle name, etc. The idea of starting a family of my own has always come above everything else for me, including having an amazing career. My ideal "career" is being a stay at home mom, really, even more so than being a mortician (and that's a pretty big thing for me to say considering how much I adore the death industry).

When I met my boy I immediately threw myself into nurturing mode. I love having him lay on my chest and nuzzle against me, scrubbing him clean in the shower or the bath (anybody remember that Axe commercial? "How old are you?" "...23?" "Yes you AAAAARE."), cooking healthy meals for him, and in general just making him feel loved and cared for. I mean, we don't get uber-creepy and invasive about it or anything -- he can wipe his own ass, thank you -- but not only does it give me someone I can take care of, but I also know that he appreciates it greatly, and THAT is a wonderful feeling to have that love reciprocated. It's not the only reason I took him on, but it did really help to plug up that hole inside of me a little bit to have someone there.

Three years later we're still together and will hopefully have some UM's of our own soon! But in the meantime I'd love to have another kitten to take care of and spoil absolutely rotten.

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Ти саркастична, це – доля,
Ти артистична в неволі,
Ти симпатична в цій ролі,
Ти синтетична до болю

Read my series, Taking Jessica, on http://www.akashaweb.com !

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 7

RE: The need to nurture - 7/9/2008 7:41:05 AM

chiaThePet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ladylocks

As people get older and their unmentionables grow up and move out I notice they tend to get pets to replace them to have something to care for.

Hmmmmm, alrighty then.

Free to good home.

Short hair mix.

Papers included (news)

Housebroken (but can fix it)

Loves walkies (leash obedient)

Adores having tummy scratched (nine inch nail certified)

Treasure trove of tricks (yes you can teach an old dog)

Enjoys the occasional bone. (oh yes he does)

chia* (the pet)

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You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

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RE: The need to nurture - 7/9/2008 7:47:19 AM

LaTigresse

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I've always had a houseful. Kids, now grown kids often spend the weekend, grandkids, furry kids. Although my adult children have often referred to me as a "mean mom" they keep coming back for more. And they trust me with their little munchkins so I must not be all that bad.......

It's the cookies.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: The need to nurture - 7/9/2008 10:24:08 AM

Aswad

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Really, I think the desire is either there, or it isn't, it's not learned behavior.

Video instruction has been used in dealing with animals who reject their offspring, for instance. And it took me more than a bit of training to go from having the feelings, to knowing how to express them. The same has been the case for a lot of the men I know. Sadly, few resources are available to them to learn from. I think society somehow expects men to be less interested in nurture, or less capable by virtue of having a penis.

Even those that have no empathy tend to have backgrounds that indicate they have unlearned it.

quote:

I've met many parents who have no empathy at all for their children.

Have you met any that do have empathy for them?

Health,
al-Aswad.

_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 10

RE: The need to nurture - 7/9/2008 12:34:43 PM

DiurnalVampire

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Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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Both my boys are quite used to my need to nurture. Angel is my baby girl, and he has been for quite a while. Fox is mothered a great deal as well, that is just how I interact. They both seem to enjoy it quite a bit, and it makes me happy. Mom used to call it taking care of my strays, as long as she could remember I have always had a few boys hanging around (she doesnt know about D/s but she does know about the Momma Bear thing) usually from my karate schools who were my "kids"

DV

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VampiresLair

(in reply to Aswad)

Post #: 11

RE: The need to nurture - 7/9/2008 12:55:03 PM

LadyHibiscus

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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

quote:

I've met many parents who have no empathy at all for their children.

Have you met any that do have empathy for them?

Health,
al-Aswad.

Not my own, certainly!

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[page 23 girl]

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Post #: 12

RE: The need to nurture - 7/9/2008 9:55:57 PM

pixelslave

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Joined: 8/19/2006
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I think these are basic human needs that are being discussed here which can also be expressed through D/s or other dynamics in addition to what we consider as mainstream society. I'm reminded of the bestselling book "The 5 Love Languages". Isn't being nurtured essentually an element of expressing one's love, compassion and concern for the well being of another; either as one human being to another human being or when taken further, extended to something that has a more romantic context?

- pixel

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(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 13

RE: The need to nurture - 7/9/2008 10:02:02 PM

BKSir

Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
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To nurture. I hate to admit it, but yes. I love taking care of my pet. A bit odd really, as I despise children (don't bother flaming me on this part). As the OP said, especially at bed time, to sit there, holding him close, stroking his hair and just letting him know he's safe and loved, it's an amazing feeling. AND I don't have to pay for his college or deal with him through the teenage years or terrible twos... ;)

(in reply to pixelslave)

Post #: 14

RE: The need to nurture - 8/4/2008 4:41:19 PM

bigbABygentleman

Posts: 34
Joined: 7/20/2008
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It's interesting to me that a woman wouldn't be nurturing and caring. I think it goes against their grain. Also, most men love being babied; some litterally, some figuratively. I believe that as we get older, we realize our mortality and we want to share and nurture. Whether it's an animal or another human being.

Men and Women need rescueing from time to time. I don't think Domme's or subs are exempt. Just my .02 cents.

(in reply to BKSir)

Post #: 15

RE: The need to nurture - 8/4/2008 4:49:08 PM

christine1

Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
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i've spent the last 20 years caring for, nurturing and yes, even (shockingly), empathizing with my children. i'm moving on to a new time in my life and when i move to my Master, i'll be nurturing and caring for Him. i really can't wait either, i love having someone to take care of and provide comfort and pleasure for.

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RE: The need to nurture - 8/4/2008 4:51:52 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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My Darling isn't really "nurturing" at all. I am more so, but my chaotic nature makes me inconsistent when it comes to nurturing because it just isn't that important to me -- I can honestly say I don't really do that. I'll do it if a servant needs it... for a while, anyway... but I'm not a big 'nurturer' (that being said, I'm by -far- the more nurturing of the two of us, so the emotional and spiritual health of our family rests on my shoulders -- to me, that's a responsibility, and I do keep up with it on that level).

Even when my now-adult offspring were growing up, I was more of a counselor and wise companion than a 'nurturer'. I taught them how to take care of themselves and pretty much focused on guiding them in ethics and social and personal responsibility.. not so much the "oh, climb up on mommy's lap and hear a story" sort of thing. Then again, except for sharing my squick factor over anything with more than 6 legs, my kids have always been pretty fearless.

Now, I like my servants for artistic expression -- I love to create works of art from pain.

Calla Firstorm

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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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Post #: 17

RE: The need to nurture - 8/4/2008 6:11:59 PM

MamaDomme1

Posts: 377
Joined: 1/12/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bigbABygentleman

Also, most men love being babied; some litterally, some figuratively. I believe that as we get older, we realize our mortality and we want to share and nurture. Whether it's an animal or another human being.

Men and Women need rescueing from time to time. I don't think Domme's or subs are exempt. Just my .02 cents.

I agree.

I nurture. I also scold.

(in reply to bigbABygentleman)

Post #: 18

RE: The need to nurture - 8/4/2008 7:02:20 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Oddly enough, it's My nurturing nature that I feel balances out the sadist in Me. I'm very much reminded of something someone wrote after a scene with Me. I like being the person who brings the pain, but I also like being the person who takes it away. The person who comforts and cares for the submissive. Oh yes. I want to hurt you, but when that's finished, I want to be the one who makes everything all right. Curl you up in My arms and reassure you that there is nothing to be afraid of.

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Post #: 19

RE: The need to nurture - 8/4/2008 7:07:04 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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LP and I were separated at birth, evidently...

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