What traits do gay, dominant men look for in potential submissives?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> What traits do gay, dominant men look for in potential submissives?

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What traits do gay, dominant men look for in potential ... - 7/8/2008 6:53:01 AM

innocentinterest

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Is there anything you really look for in a prospective submissive?

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RE: What traits do gay, dominant men look for in potent... - 7/8/2008 7:05:59 AM

SirMIkeSD

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I look for the good attitude and willingness to explore and learn. Also those that understand being submissive to me is not just about sex and play. There is way more to it then that for me, I want full service.

Mike

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RE: What traits do gay, dominant men look for in potent... - 7/8/2008 1:01:29 PM

innocentinterest

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Hey, thanks for the reply, Mike.

Those sound like great, necessary traits. Especially since I'm just beginning to explore this all I am hoping that I can exhibit some of that willingness to explore.

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RE: What traits do gay, dominant men look for in potent... - 7/8/2008 9:14:12 PM

FangsNfeet

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When it comes to physical traits, it's usually the little or skinny guy that attracts most gay/bi doms. Remember the character Justin from Queer as Folk?

As for me, I perfer guys with a grungy tough look and toned muscles. I like muscles.

Other than the physical appearance, I don't like the whole flame thing. Men do not have periods nor do they need monostat. Nathan Lanes performance in The Bird Cage is a complete turn off for me. I'm attracted to men who look and act like men and not wanna be extra sensitve hormal women in hot pink 24/7.

< Message edited by FangsNfeet -- 7/8/2008 9:15:34 PM >

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RE: What traits do gay, dominant men look for in potent... - 7/8/2008 10:11:04 PM

Archer

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I spend alot of time around my gay leather brothers, masculine men being authentic to who they are will almost always be in demand from someone.
The main thing that seems to be a common thread is Authentic to themselves.

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RE: What traits do gay, dominant men look for in potent... - 7/10/2008 1:02:52 PM

MasterKevinPDX

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I echo what Sir Mike said ... the heart of M/s or D/s is service. the hardest lesson for subs/slaves to learn is that it is all about the dom/Master.

I'm not so sure about fangsnfeet ... I know slaves who are not used sexually. I don't think these relationships are about lust, meaning sexual attractiveness is pretty far down the list for me. sex comes so easily to gay men, whether dominant or submissive, and no matter the body shape or size. I think it's about the service--I'm attracted to someone who wants to serve me, as opposed to just wanting to get in my pants. if I'm a little turned off because the guy is out of shape or whatever, I can just put him on a diet and force him to exercise, so it's a very different mindset for me than when I'm cruising.

I agree with Archer too ... although I think many new subs/slaves simply don't know how to be Authentic to themselves, since they are still wrestling with what it means to be a slave and are often fighting it. My experience has been that I often need to help guide slaves to understand who they are, then they can start the long road to Authenticity.

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RE: What traits do gay, dominant men look for in potent... - 7/10/2008 5:47:37 PM

BKSir

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Intelligence and a willingness to learn and grow, not only as my sub, but as a person in general. That is the key. The rest, loyalty, honesty, and just that certain... 'something'. Probably not too different than any other Dom/me who is looking for a potential sub I suppose.

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RE: What traits do gay, dominant men look for in potent... - 7/10/2008 5:49:35 PM

BKSir

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quote:

I'm attracted to men who look and act like men and not wanna be extra sensitve hormal women in hot pink 24/7.

Okay, I can agree with the 24/7 part. But sometimes it is fun to make them squeak and squeal like a little girl. ;)

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RE: What traits do gay, dominant men look for in potent... - 7/10/2008 6:11:04 PM

beargonewild

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quote:

ORIGINAL: innocentinterest

Is there anything you really look for in a prospective submissive?

It's pretty much what the other posters have stated. My former owner wanted a sub who was able to learn and grow into his submission to him. What he was looking for was a sub who was service oriented to serve his wants and needs both sexually and non sexually. Which meant that the sub was able to a variety of tasks in and around the house for his pleasure and to keep the house running. His sub was to be self sufficient yet also dependent upon him in the manner that the sub's wants, needs and desires were the dom's.

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