quote:
ORIGINAL: dvart
Some of the people in collarme just seem to be concerned with process/pleasure.
For example a Domme might get a sense of power from the humiliation of a sub and the sub might get a kind of relief from being treated like a piece of dirt. Such relations don't seem to be instrumental to anything else (I can't be sure because I haven't personal experience of such a situation).
Let me declare my own position, my own dominance is mostly instrumental to something else. Ok it excites me, I concede that but at least important is to create a situation where we can get closer than would be possible in the vanilla world. I feel empowered by my dominance and it makes me feel safer to open up.
Is you power exchange instrumental in taking you places that nothing else would ?
How is it for you ?
Why does it matter to you, and what difference would it make?
You've already provided insight of your perspective; "...the sub might get a kind of relief from being treated like a piece of dirt." Realty is, the 'sub' could be thinking they are being treated like a king.
Anytime you observe one facet of any dynamic the you don't understand you should keep this poem in mind:
John Godfrey Saxe's ( 1816-1887) version of the famous Indian legend
It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.
The First approach'd the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
"God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!"
The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, -"Ho! what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me 'tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!"
The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a snake!"
The Fourth reached out his eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
"What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain," quoth he,
"'Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!"
The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: "E'en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!"
The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Then, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a rope!"
And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!
MORAL.
So oft in theologic wars,
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen!
