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RE: How much does sexuality and sex appeal factor into ... - 7/9/2008 10:56:48 AM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Thank you for bringing up this topic.  I was just about to create one of My own on the matter.  You have saved Me the keystrokes.

How much do I trade on My sexuality?  Honestly.  Not one bit.  I would feel like such a fraud if I did.  I'm not much into false pretenses.  There have been a few threads lately where I have asked what one does when their style of domination, which relies on their youth and pretty face fades.  I can tell you that it wasn't well received.



Side note, really, but this is one thing I don't get.  Why do people assume their looks and bodies will fade? I'm going to be smoking hot at 40 just as I was at 20.  I don't just assume and accept that with age my body and face will turn to shit.  I will take healthy steps to ensure I always look and feel the best I can, and that inner beauty and sexy confidence is what shines through.  Are you saying that a 60 year old woman can't be sexy? Do we just have to shut it all down when we hit a certain age? I hope not!

Akasha


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RE: How much does sexuality and sex appeal factor into ... - 7/9/2008 11:42:29 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I obviously didn't express Myself well in My earlier comments.

I put this on a different post, and it applies here as well.  A person's outward appearance is no where near as important as their inner beauty.  If anything, My domination style factors into that.  I don't dominate anyone simply because they see what I look like from across a room, but I will say, absolutely, that My energy and charisma  will turn heads wherever I go.  My husband has poked fun at Me for years on the matter because it's something I don't even realize that I do at times.

On the outside <shrug> I don't think I'm all that much of a much.  I've said so on these boards often.  The truth be told, I don't think I need that.  I look at a person's outward appearance, including My own, very much the say way I do as gift wrapping.  Sure, it's pretty to look at, but how many presents have you ever left unopened, just because the gift looked so pretty on the outside?  Or, did you take those pretty wrappings off to see what was really on the inside?


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RE: How much does sexuality and sex appeal factor into ... - 7/9/2008 11:53:08 AM   
Pyrrsefanie


Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
There have been a few threads lately where I have asked what one does when their style of domination, which relies on their youth and pretty face fades.  I can tell you that it wasn't well received.


There's more to a woman's sex appeal than her appearance.  In fact, there was a study done that shows that smart girls are usually better in bed than the party-girls.  Really, you take a woman who's gorgeous on the outside but has all the personality of a decomposing corpse and she's instantly that much less sexy.

Example from the pro wrestling world: Booker T's wife/manager.  Totally hot until she opens her mouth, then it's like "oh god just go away."

You don't necessarily need to have a perfect size zero figure and a peaches-and-cream complexion in order to get your sub's motor going.  Hell, I'm living proof of that.  Youth does not necessarily equate to sexuality (unless your sub's initials are M.J.) or attractiveness.  Plenty of buttertrolls in the under-30 category.

But if you want to look at it from a sense of pure physical attraction, things like diet, exercise, and lifestyle choices (I need to follow my own damn advice) will help to preserve appearance and a strong body well into your later years.  Do I really need to link to the Nordic Track grandma?  GMILF alert.

And there's no shame in plastic surgery, either.  But really if the only thing a sub, lover, partner, pretty much ANYONE likes about you is how you look, then there's a lot more wrong with that relationship than just being vapid and vain.

NINJA EDIT: Not directed at you, LadyP, I got the impression you were talking about other people not posting on this thread.  I just wanted to throw in my .02 for any of those who might be reading here.




< Message edited by Pyrrsefanie -- 7/9/2008 11:55:19 AM >

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Fraud? - 7/9/2008 12:47:49 PM   
mettadas


Posts: 30
Joined: 7/2/2008
From: Ottawa, ON
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
How much do I trade on My sexuality?  Honestly.  Not one bit.  I would feel like such a fraud if I did.  I'm not much into false pretenses.  There have been a few threads lately where I have asked what one does when their style of domination, which relies on their youth and pretty face fades.

I can't imagine that anyone's style is constant throughout their life, so I'm not sure the fact that one's beauty may one day fade is that important.  And as others have pointed out, physical beauty is only one part of being sexy ... for me personally attitude is a much bigger factor.

But I'm much more curious about your first few sentences above.  If a submissive is sexually attracted to you, and you make use of the influence that gives you, how does that make you a fraud?


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RE: Fraud? - 7/9/2008 1:19:53 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mettadas

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
How much do I trade on My sexuality?  Honestly.  Not one bit.  I would feel like such a fraud if I did.  I'm not much into false pretenses.  There have been a few threads lately where I have asked what one does when their style of domination, which relies on their youth and pretty face fades.

I can't imagine that anyone's style is constant throughout their life, so I'm not sure the fact that one's beauty may one day fade is that important.  And as others have pointed out, physical beauty is only one part of being sexy ... for me personally attitude is a much bigger factor.

But I'm much more curious about your first few sentences above.  If a submissive is sexually attracted to you, and you make use of the influence that gives you, how does that make you a fraud?


It has everything to do with the fact that I *don't* expect a submissive to be attracted to Me sexually in nature.  I consider that completely secondary, even if that high on the scale.  I asprie to something better.

Physical looks are a matter of personal tastes.  To some, I am average in appearance.  To others, I am gorgeous, and to some, they wouldn't give Me the time of day.  It's all about interpretation.  I'm more apt to appreciate those who can see past what might be readily available for view on the outside, rather than looking for true beauty on the inside.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: How much does sexuality and sex appeal factor into ... - 7/9/2008 1:34:42 PM   
MatinaNemesis


Posts: 22
Joined: 4/10/2006
Status: offline 		I LOVE using my sensual and seductive charms, teasing and "setting up" for a serious humiliation or mindfuck :)............cruel but, "fair" I think :)

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RE: How much does sexuality and sex appeal factor into ... - 7/9/2008 7:44:26 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Ladies, do you rely much on your sexuality as a tool in power exchange?  Do you feel that being sexy, or being sexually attractive to your submissive mate is a tool that is effectively used, or should it not be relied on?  Do you ever dominate when you feel you don't have a sexy bone in your body?  For the sake of discussion, let's not get into the "looking sexy/dressing sexy" aspect of it; I'm talking about inner sex appeal, and how you feel and use your body, not necessarily your appearance at any given moment- we all know these are very different things....

Akasha



I definitely use sex appeal as a tool.  In fact, I'll use whatever I can if I think it will work.  Pain, pleasure, sex, fear...they're all means to my end.  I don't stop being dominant just because I've been working in the yard, am covered in soil, sweating, and need a shower.  It's a personality trait that never goes away.  It just is.  My household is formed around me as the top of the hierarchy and everyone else falling somewhere below that.
 
That said, if I'm going to do a play scene, then I do like to look and feel sexy.  It's not just for them, it's also for me.  My confidence is at its highest when I feel good.  I feel best when I know I look good.  I give a better scene when the person at my mercy is looking at me with a mixture of lust and fear.  It's a continuous feedback loop.

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