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RE: relocation - 7/9/2008 2:56:27 PM

TwoNYCDommes

Posts: 237
Joined: 1/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveinphx
my Master is having me relocate. i am very excited about it, however, i am wondering, he does not wish for me to live with him but live in an apartment on the other side of town from him.

Did you ask him why he wants you to live across town? Does he never want you to live with him, or is this an intermediate step to see if living in the same town works before considering sharing a home? Are you happy with the arrangement in either case?

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveinphx
should i be concerned? is this the "norm"?

I don't know that it's the norm, but I don't see anything odd about it. I would prefer my slaves to live separately from me, though nearby.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveinphx
He is not married. And i have known him for a little over 4 yrs now, when he was here in the state that i lived, we even lived together at that time. He has wanted me to move there for a little over a year now, but only decided recently that this was the right thing to do.

That sounds like a far more solid basis than many have when considering relocating to be near someone. Still, are you comfortable with the expected reward:risk ratio... do you feel that the likelihood of your relationship lasting is high enough to counterbalance the regret you might feel about having moved if the relationship ends?

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveinphx
There are numerous job opportunities there for me, so finding work will not be a problem.

It might still be a good idea to conduct your job search before you move, to the extent that is possible.

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Post #: 21

RE: relocation - 7/9/2008 3:16:12 PM

silkncarol

Posts: 318
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Relocation to be near your partner is a wonderful exciting event......just make sure you've thought it all out...the good and the bad. Make sure you have employment and be self sufficient....build your own support system in case something should go wrong....life does have a way of throwing curves when you least expect them...so be prepared and enjoy!

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Post #: 22

RE: relocation - 7/9/2008 3:47:53 PM

cantilena

Posts: 224
Joined: 8/6/2007
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~

When I re-read your OP, it struck me that it's not so much the move or relocation that's on your mind, but rather it's the lack of an invitation for you to live with him that's on your mind. You mentioned in a subsequent post that you don't see the current proposition as moving the relationship forward.

If I've read your concern correctly, I think it entirely depends on the relationship. On one hand, I don't see anything whatsoever wrong with him wanting to maintain seperate residences. Moving in together can be a big deal. He may just be seeing a progression like LDR -> Same City -> Same Residence. It might be that he likes his own space period and LDR -> Same City is all he wants and this is a fantastic step for him.

On the other hand, it could mean that he's asking you to take most of the risk because he himself is not 100% comitted to the relationship. Or that he still wants to date other subs without you around, which is okay if that's your dynamic (but sounds like it is not your dynamic.)

Anyway, like most of these questions I've seen while spending time here... the questions can best be cleared up with talking to the other person and working through the concern.

Good luck.

(in reply to batshalom)

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Post #: 23

RE: relocation - 7/9/2008 4:09:36 PM

Pyrrsefanie

Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
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Hold on, let me duct-tape a cock to my pants so I can post in the Master forum... ahhh... there we go.

DON'T DO IT.

I was in an almost identical situation when I was 18. He swore up and down that he loved me and wanted me out there but didn't want me to live with him or hardly ever visit his apartment. Stupidly enough I packed my shit up and moved across the country because it was REAL TWUE LOVE.

Didn't work. Many regrets. Much money wasted, much emotional scarring. Everything was wonderful until I got out there and then ended up suffering, not being able to find a job as easily as I thought I would, getting no help or assistance from him even when I was quite literally starving because I couldn't afford food... and yeah, he picked the place. I paid for it. Same situation as you're thinking of going into.

I mean, if you were actually happy about the place you'd be moving to, then I'd say go for it, but from your post and replies it seems like you're apprehensive about living there in the first place. If you don't work out, are you going to be able to stay there and keep your sanity, or will you be yearning to go back home, which can cost astronomical amounts of money to yank everything up and go back?

Obviously I don't know all the details, but I just... eeeeeergh. Bad vibes.

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Post #: 24

RE: relocation - 7/9/2008 4:16:13 PM

greenearth21

Posts: 228
Joined: 7/9/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveinphx

please, i have a question and search answers. my Master is having me relocate. i am very excited about it, however, i am wondering, he does not wish for me to live with him but live in an apartment on the other side of town from him. should i be concerned? is this the "norm"? any comments?

Depends on how long you've known each other, how well you match etc etc. If i was to relocate I think i'd prefer moving into my own place at first. If they suggested it, it wouldnt even cross my mind that their reason would be they dont want me around. Do it on your own first...you'll have his support (i hope)...get yourself situated and if it all works out then you'll live together. My theory is you just never know how people are when they have you away from all you know....a risk i'm not interested in taking.

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Post #: 25

RE: relocation - 7/9/2008 5:08:49 PM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

quote:

It is not a place that i have dreamed of living or relocating to

quote:

i don't really see it at moving to the next level

I think you have already answered your own question ...go with your gut feelings on this

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Post #: 26

RE: relocation - 7/9/2008 5:22:20 PM

SirDarien

Posts: 7
Joined: 6/17/2008
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I'll be the your HUCKLEBERRY, some one has to play the Devil...Is there a good reason why he wants you to live somehere else? Does he have kids who have to get used to you? Hmmm thats all I really got, yeah that's fishy...But i also agree with eyesopen get there and do you if it works it works if not you can be mine...lmMao

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Post #: 27

RE: relocation - 7/9/2008 6:11:00 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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Oh I'll add that experience is something to do with it. I would not have someone come to live with me unless they'd lived at least a year completely on their own. I have found it's an important growth experience as an adult to understand and handle those responsibilities.

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Post #: 28

RE: relocation - 7/9/2008 6:41:22 PM

whiteslavebitch

Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
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I relocated from the west coast to the east coast to be with my Master 8 months ago, and currently live in my own apartment. There's a certain security to that, because if things didn't work out between us, I'd still have a place to live.

I've known MasterK for almost 3 years, and hope to be his slave forever, but for starters we thought this was the best way to do things. We may or may not change our living arrangements in the future.

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Post #: 29