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RE: things you never want to hear ... - 7/9/2008 1:03:26 PM   
NeedingMore220


Posts: 615
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Status: offline 		Thank you, jlf.  I appreciate your kind thoughts.

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RE: things you never want to hear ... - 7/9/2008 3:09:37 PM   
SweetDommes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NeedingMore220

They must have a strong community.  Perhaps the church can arrange for babysitters and whatever the family needs?  When someone is sick or going through something in our circle, others always chip in, bringing food, helping out however is needed .... sometimes it takes time to get something like that organized too. 



They do - they live just behind their church, actually.  So that will help.  Plus his grandmother and grandfather go to that church, so they are there at least once a week anyway.  I don't hold out much hope that his grandmother will do too much, though - she's ... odd, although she's a bully and likes to be in charge, so maybe she'll get the ball rolling for supervision for him. 

I'm still awaiting their phone number from Jeff's dad - then I can call and see what I can do next week if they need me.

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RE: things you never want to hear ... - 7/9/2008 3:16:04 PM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		replicant?  geesh.

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RE: things you never want to hear ... - 7/9/2008 3:21:57 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		great, I'm freaking out and worried like heck about my cousin ... and you have to be obnoxious about the term I use so that I'm not breaking the TOS ... how nice.  I believe this is one of those moments where, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all....

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RE: things you never want to hear ... - 7/9/2008 3:30:56 PM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		you're right OP, i apologize.

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i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

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He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

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RE: things you never want to hear ... - 7/9/2008 5:50:53 PM   
atursvcMaam


Posts: 1195
Joined: 5/10/2004
Status: offline 		i thought replicants was a great way to phrase that.  My best wishes to all, and my prayers and good thoughts will be with you and your cousin.  as well as Needing More and mss.  Good luck, and God Bless all.

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RE: things you never want to hear ... - 7/9/2008 6:45:37 PM   
NeedingMore220


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Status: offline 		Thank you, atursvcMaam...

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RE: things you never want to hear ... - 7/9/2008 6:51:06 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		I feel pretty positive your cousin will be fine, but i do understand how scary it is and I wish him a speedy recovery  .... in a short time maybe within 2 weeks most if not all of his short term memory will be back basically the bruising and swelling has to subside first .so even in a week there should be big improvement  ... especially with the positive  CAT/MRI results he had as that means a lots  ...   the brain has amazing powers to heal even from far/far  worse . one girl I know was in an accident where she a 3 others were not wearing seating and were ejecting from the vehicle on impact the other 3 died instantly from their head traumas but she survived ..her skull was fractured , she had a severe hematoma,  she was in coma for a month and a half  inorder to keep her alive they had to remove part of her skull due to swelling and put in a shunt, and several  times during the first couple of weeks they had to rescessitate her , initially they did not expect her to survive and fears grew as time went by with her remaining in a coma both her long and short term memories were a mess and speech and mobility was affected her long term memory came back first but short term was a mess after another month her shortterm memory startcoming back as well she was put into therapies to help with speech and mobility  about 3 1/2 months after the accident she was back home with her family  6 months later  one would be hard pressed unless they knew her well from prior to the accident to know she had suffered the type of brain injury that she did ...I also know another person that has went thru a serious accident on a motorbike with similiar brain injury    that the girl had  plus several broken bones and required skin grafting   and other than having to process info a little slower and a minor speech impedment he is functioning well owns and takes care of his own home /finances/ drives and works fulltime  a job he had returned to in less than a year after the accident .  

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RE: things you never want to hear ... - 7/9/2008 8:41:03 PM   
SweetDommes


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Status: offline 		Thanks everyone.

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RE: things you never want to hear ... - 7/19/2008 7:45:38 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		Just an update - he's been to see a movie, he has started reading again (beginner levels, but ... better than nothing) and he likes his brother, but doesn't remember him.

He still has swelling in his skull, and until the swelling goes down, we don't expect much improvement.  I'm still praying for him, and hoping for the best - but at this point, they don't want too many visitors (he's embarrassed because he doesn't remember, and they don't want to upset him) so I haven't been to see him *sigh*

And a random addition to the stress of my life, I think my brother is cheating on his wife and it is just making me sick ...   I don't really want to call him out on it, but at the same time, I don't know if I'll be able to face his wife at Thanksgiving if I don't ...

< Message edited by SweetDommes -- 7/19/2008 8:10:46 PM >

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RE: things you never want to hear ... - 7/19/2008 9:30:21 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		here is something not to hear.   a surgeon or dentist say "oops"

I would not worry about a perfect Thanksgivin.  But I also would not be quick to jump into the fray of the brother possibly cheating.

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RE: things you never want to hear ... - 7/20/2008 1:48:51 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		I'm not hoping for a perfect Thanksgiving ... but at the same time, I'm pretty violently anti-cheating.  I've been cheated on and I've been used to cheat on others, and it's horrible.  If it were me, I'd want someone to tell me ... but I don't know how his wife feels. 

And of course, if they are poly, that's obviously fine - but on the site in question, there is an option that you can check if you are seeing someone or married and still looking ... my brother did not check that, which means that he's at least leading on the people who contact him on that site, even if his wife knows that he's looking.  That's still cheating, in my opinion, because important information is being withheld from people - consent can't be given if the person doesn't know what they are getting into.

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Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

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RE: things you never want to hear ... - 7/20/2008 2:23:40 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		My son has anoxic brain injury from almost two years ago.  It is a slower recovery injury than other types.  I tell you this because, finally we are seeing some improvement.  His being in the 79% of the worst cases, any recovery is pretty amazing.  When it happened, it didn't look like there would be much recovery and things were so not looking good.  But today, he has made his own toast without me telling him each step of the way. He just did it.  He now remembers much more and believe me that is a major improvement over his ten second memory base from the start. 

Don't get caught up in what it looks like right at this moment, because things can and will change.  The swelling can go down and all sorts of things improve.  Time does mend many things and my son is living proof of it.  Not knowing the extent of the damage, I cannot say much, but there is always hope and I am sure things will improve.

My son will never be able to take care of himself fully, because of the nature of the damage, but in other types of brain injury, people do amazing things!  I knew a woman beaten with a hammer and how she lived, no one knows, but she is independent and living on her own and has over come major hurdles.

Please try not to stress so much.  I know it is hard not to, but please know that there is a lot of hope in your loved one's situation for improvement and already you are seeing signs of it.  It is devestating and hard to grasp in ways, but believe me, things do calm down and get better.  I wish you all well and my heart goes out to you!

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RE: things you never want to hear ... - 7/20/2008 2:30:57 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		Thanks - I mostly just wish that I could do something to help, there just isn't anything at this point. 

I'll keep your son in mind as I'm praying for my cousin - I hope that he continues to improve.

< Message edited by SweetDommes -- 7/20/2008 2:31:40 AM >

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Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

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RE: things you never want to hear ... - 7/20/2008 2:33:03 AM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

great, I'm freaking out and worried like heck about my cousin ... and you have to be obnoxious about the term I use so that I'm not breaking the TOS ... how nice.  I believe this is one of those moments where, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all....


i called my two imps "parasites" while in utero.  the malebeast is quite often referred to as the "mess-making monkeyboy".

passing along good wishes for you and yours...may everyone continue to heal.

things like this affect more than just the one who has the actual injury.

kitten

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RE: things you never want to hear ... - 7/20/2008 2:36:23 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		It is easier to handle it all when you can do something.  But right now it looks like people have things covered.  A lot of times people have to return to other things and the time may come when you can help out.  I know two months into our situation, I really needed someone around to help out.  Maybe you could do some research or something.  Find things to encourage you and other's through it all.  I couldn't be at the hospital a lot at first and I spent my time learning, teaching the other's and supporting everyone, preparing for the future and advocating in small ways.  Maybe you could do something that isn't hands on that would be of some great help.  I hope you can find some peace and restful sleeps!  Hang in there!

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RE: things you never want to hear ... - 7/20/2008 3:41:30 AM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		SweetDommes,

I know how it feels to be unable to help, but wanting so hard.  I don't know how it feels to have that change in a close friend or family member.  The two together must be hard, and I wish I could make it better...

Perhaps you could explain to me replicants...?

Edit: I figured it out.  I'm so smart. =\

< Message edited by HeavansKeeper -- 7/20/2008 3:43:20 AM >

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