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Ask a Master - 11/11/2005 7:25:05 AM

WalterRego

Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline

How many Mistresses/Dommes read the Master columns? More to the point, how much of what you do read there is relevant to what you do with or want from your male subs?

Is there (in your opinion) more overlap or less overlap in female sub attitudes and emotions toward Masters than male sub attitudes and emotions toward their Mistresses?

What about what you want from your sub. ...Do you see more there which you would like there?

How do Bi Mistresses interested in female subs feel about this?

_____________________________

A person should not choose the form in which he wishes to perform the service, but he should perform it in any manner the opportunity affords. He should be like a vessel into which anything may be poured - wine, milk, or water.
-Abraham Joshua Heschel

Post #: 1

RE: Ask a Master - 11/11/2005 7:39:56 AM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

I think a lot of differences come in not so much how subs differ in their genders, but rather in why a person seeks submission. The way I see it a person submits out of a need...for some that need is 'reciprocal love', for some that need is 'fondness and adoration'. Male dom/fem sub relationships tend to be built on a reciprocal transfer of love...wherease a lot of fem dom/male sub relationships, the sub 'loves' the 'Mistress' but in their 'subordinate' role, love from 'her' is not expected to be reciprocated, rather the sub desires to know he is 'loved' by her, but she is not 'in love' with him (if that makes sense?). But neither dynamic is gender exclusive, just seems the majority of each dynamic presents itself in the genders as outlined above.

Either dynamic requires trust, patience, understanding and commitment.

< Message edited by Jasmyn -- 11/11/2005 7:45:31 AM >

_____________________________

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"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

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(in reply to WalterRego)

Post #: 2

RE: Ask a Master - 11/11/2005 9:25:18 AM

MsIce

Posts: 59
Joined: 3/31/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WalterRego

How many Mistresses/Dommes read the Master columns? More to the point, how much of what you do read there is relevant to what you do with or want from your male subs?

I tend not to read them. I believe the dynamic is quite a lot different. I believe a great number of male Doms have a keen interest in sexual submission. Not ususually so for the female dominant.

(in reply to WalterRego)

Post #: 3

RE: Ask a Master - 11/11/2005 11:46:38 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Most male dominants grind my gears big time. I never venture into the Ask a Master area for that reason----why raise my blood pressure?

The dynamic is very different, and the male approach to female submissives is very VERY different from the female approach to submissives, male OR female.

Ms F

(in reply to MsIce)

Post #: 4

RE: Ask a Master - 11/11/2005 12:13:04 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Most male dominants grind my gears big time. I never venture into the Ask a Master area for that reason----why raise my blood pressure?

The dynamic is very different, and the male approach to female submissives is very VERY different from the female approach to submissives, male OR female.

Ms F

I wouldn't say most grind my gears. I have absolutely no problems seeing eye to eye with those that don't make it about gender. I take issues with sexist and misogynist male Doms and believe me, there is a whole bunch that hide behind a Dom personae simply to camouflage a total disrespect for women.

Now on the other hand, there are some male Doms that I find I can totally be aligned with because they see this as something that any two humans can share regardless of race, gender, etc. With the few that I have let myself get a little closer to as friends on this site—and you know who you are my little darlings ;)¬—I actually find that I have many similarities with them, often more similarities then a lot of the Dominant women that I see post.

So I have gone into Ask A Master on occasion if a topic catches my eye. I however wouldn't be caught dead posting in a venue such as the Gorean thread. Though I will respect people's right to live out their lives the way they wish, I find that such a mentality that always holds women inferior to men goes against every single one of my principles, much in the way that Female Superiority/Supremacy does.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 5

RE: Ask a Master - 11/11/2005 1:40:52 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

I wouldn't say most grind my gears

True, I was overstating.........but I think I am more out in my local community than you are (could be wrong here) so I have to deal with more morons f2f. <G>

They are not alllll bad.........some of them are actually downright sensible!

:)F

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 6

RE: Ask a Master - 11/11/2005 1:58:50 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

I wouldn't say most grind my gears

True, I was overstating.........but I think I am more out in my local community than you are (could be wrong here) so I have to deal with more morons f2f. <G>

They are not alllll bad.........some of them are actually downright sensible!

:)F

Yup! I'm not out in my local community because I'm a rather private person. I've been to 1 munch, 3 semi-private play parties, 1 fetish party and 1 demo! I met a few idiot Doms, Dommes, subs, etc. I met a few nice people too!

But I have met quite a few male doms in real life. But then again, I picked them out of a crowd (or off a message board) and made a friend out of them.

-LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 7

RE: Ask a Master - 11/11/2005 5:45:15 PM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WalterRego

How many Mistresses/Dommes read the Master columns? More to the point, how much of what you do read there is relevant to what you do with or want from your male subs?

Not all of us have male subs. Just because we are female dominants does not mean we all have or seek male subs.

As to relevance... these are discussion boards where we share our own life experiences. Many of us can offer relevant information to these discussions even if our own dynamics differ. I agree that there is a big difference between the typical mindset of a female sub & a male sub, but the various perspectives offered could apply to most any scenario. (unless of course we are talking about CBT or breast bondage or topics along those lines... you get my drift)

Take this into consideration, I myself cannot relate my current relationship to a very large percentage of the posters on this or any forum... my submissive is transsexual. Should I stop contributing to these boards because of this? Should I stop reading from them because no one else here posts about life with a submissive that is also transsexual?

In my years I have had many male subs, a small number of female subs & topped my fair share of persons that identify as dominant & do not make it common knowledge of their hush-hush submissive side. These interactions ranged from a one time session to 3 collared submissives (including current partner). These experiences lend me the ability to relate to many different topics & I only chime in when a thread interests me, regardless as to where I find it on the boards.

quote:

Is there (in your opinion) more overlap or less overlap in female sub attitudes and emotions toward Masters than male sub attitudes and emotions toward their Mistresses?

scratching head... not sure what you were asking here.

quote:

What about what you want from your sub. ...Do you see more there which you would like there?

How do Bi Mistresses interested in female subs feel about this?

I thought you were interested in finding out what the female dominants got out of posting or reading in the 'Ask a Master' section? It would seem that you see the boards as another form of personals. Both questions you asked in this passage was about meeting with & partnering up with a submissive. I refer back to my earlier comment, this is a discussion board. Looking for partners happens on the other side of the site.

As to myself, I do read from & post in the Ask a Master section. To me, Master is not gender specific, I consider myself to be a Master. Many submissives read & post in that section as well. I don't think they would consider themselves to be Masters, but they felt strongly enough about a topic to throw in their 2 cents.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to WalterRego)

Post #: 8

RE: Ask a Master - 11/11/2005 5:52:51 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Hear! Hear!

Well said.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 9

RE: Ask a Master - 11/11/2005 8:23:00 PM

WalterRego

Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I thought you were interested in finding out what the female dominants got out of posting or reading in the 'Ask a Master' section? It would seem that you see the boards as another form of personals. Both questions you asked in this passage was about meeting with & partnering up with a submissive.

I have no idea what gave you that idea. If you read my profile you'll see that the only thing it says is that I have no interest in CM, much less in the boards, as a vehicle for meeting Dommes. I come here only for the intelligent and knowledgable posts in the forums (p.s. I did not meet the Mistress who I serve here at CM either).

What did prompt this thread was my occasional reading of the Ask a Master Board and finding ~ at least what appeared to me ~ to be a vast gulf between the way female subs think of and refer to their Masters; what they look for and the way they respond to how they are treated vs. the way male subs think of, refer to and respond to Mistresses. In good ways, bad ways and other neither good nor bad but interesting ways. Almost to the point where it seemed at times like male and female subs are two different species. I find it extremely difficult to relate to the ways female subs (and Masters) feel and the things they say, which surprised me. So, before attempting to draw any conclusions from these feelings I was curious to see whether or not Mistresses felt this way too.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 10

RE: Ask a Master - 11/11/2005 8:44:08 PM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

original post by WalterRego: How many Mistresses/Dommes read the Master columns? More to the point, how much of what you do read there is relevant to what you do with or want from your male subs?

& your reply to me:

quote:

I have no idea what gave you that idea. If you read my profile you'll see that the only thing it says is.... <snip>

Your post did not ask us to view your profile & you did ask the above question. That is what gave me that idea...

Again I have to point out that your heterosexual line of thinking is not going to match that of every member of these boards. If you participated more maybe you would realize this. Not every thread is based on the interaction of M/f or F/m based dynamics. Not all of the threads are about interaction on a physical level.

I did say that I agree that the male & female mind is different. I have often remarked that it is impossible to play a pronoun game with the M/f material & apply it to a F/m interaction. In fact, myself & a male submissive friend recognized that there was very little, if any GOOD resources online or in print for the male submissive (regardless of orientation) to be found & we started an online support & mentoring group. It was good idea but most often the men joined thinking they were going to find a source of masturbation material or be subjects for online dominantion... this wasn't the case. After two years & several members struggling to keep the group alive & active, I decided to close it.

Yes there are differences but it doesn't mean that we can't share our own stories & experiences. Those of us with good imagination will be able to utilize the information even if we have to modify it a little.

I can't answer for every female dominant that may be reading your post or for every one of them that may read the Ask a Master forum... I can only answer from my own point of view. I do find threads on there of interest. I find threads of interest on several boards, but I also see many many threads on these same boards that have absolutely no interest & I skip right on by them. I would say that I find just as many on the Ask a Mistress as the Ask a Master that I have no interest in at all. Is it because of the board they are on??

No, it is most likely because the OP was writing about a topic of which I had no interest.

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 11/11/2005 8:48:58 PM >

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MstrssPassion

(in reply to WalterRego)

Post #: 11

RE: Ask a Master - 11/12/2005 12:19:03 AM

Kasia

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

So I have gone into Ask A Master on occasion if a topic catches my eye. I however wouldn't be caught dead posting in a venue such as the Gorean thread. Though I will respect people's right to live out their lives the way they wish, I find that such a mentality that always holds women inferior to men goes against every single one of my principles, much in the way that Female Superiority/Supremacy does.

I was going to write exactly the same, but this lady has done far better job in explaining my own feelings regarding the subject.

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 12

RE: Ask a Master - 11/12/2005 5:09:15 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kasia

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

So I have gone into Ask A Master on occasion if a topic catches my eye. I however wouldn't be caught dead posting in a venue such as the Gorean thread. Though I will respect people's right to live out their lives the way they wish, I find that such a mentality that always holds women inferior to men goes against every single one of my principles, much in the way that Female Superiority/Supremacy does.

I was going to write exactly the same, but this lady has done far better job in explaining my own feelings regarding the subject.

I've even ventured in that forum as well. I am still waiting for a valid question to be answered that I have asked in many Gor environments...

Gorean men were in fact men of Gor. For the most part they had absolutely no use for earth men & the only real use they found for them was to be a silk slave for the Free Women. So how is it that so many earth men are involved in this so proudly when for the most part, they were mere slaves within the books?

I am not Gorean, so those that practice it cannot expect me to live by their rules. I am not a Free Woman because I am not Gorean. I am also not a FW because this would suggest that I was permitted to be such because the Masters allowed me to be free. HA! I am who I am, by my choice, by my rules & by my own design. If I go into that forum & post, by rights I should be treated with respect based on universally recognized standards & not have their standards thrust upon me. So far that is the case.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to Kasia)

Post #: 13

RE: Ask a Master - 11/12/2005 6:29:19 AM

Kasia

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline

With all due respect to individuals - IronBear being one of them, I adore the way his mind works and find his sense of humour very much alike my own, and think of him as one gentle and honourable man - I find all that Gor stuff just like role playing.... unrealistic.
I like my world to be real and world out of books is not real to me. Oh, I do believe it is real enough to them. Still, its not my thing - I wouldnt be able to connect that way of living with the actual world out there which is very much affecting me.

There is another thing - I was born and raised in country that still has some remote spots where people never heard of internet or Gor or anything else. They only know their little pieces of land, their domestic cattle and their close neighbours. Yet they sort of live right out of Gor books when it comes to relations between men and women. We that were born in the cities and know a bit more about life in general find those people primitive. Mind, I am not despising their ways, I am just saying that women in my homeland have been through some rough times to achieve "better life" and being treated as equals.

I just find "western" people who actually never had to starve or fight for their basic rights pretty ignorant of how some other people live. Please do not take any offence in my writing - but for some women out there the "Gorean ways" are simple truth of life they dont like to live...... being sexually and otherwise used, abused etc.
It is nice to play things out of books when you dont have to live that way if you dont want to.

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 14

RE: Ask a Master - 11/12/2005 7:00:22 AM

FTopinMichigan

Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WalterRego

How many Mistresses/Dommes read the Master columns?

I read the Master's Forum, as well as the Submissive's Forum (not to mention the Switches Forum too). I feel that I can learn from what 'most' people have to offer, and even though I may not agree, or may not be able to relate 100% to the discussion, I can take away something from the conversation.

I do scan posts though, and skip threads that I have little to no interest in. I do tend to find more relevant topics in the Mistress and General sections.

K

(in reply to WalterRego)

Post #: 15

RE: Ask a Master - 11/13/2005 12:17:39 PM

MaitresseEden

Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline

quote:

I have absolutely no problems seeing eye to eye with those that don't make it about gender. I take issues with sexist and misogynist male Doms and believe me, there is a whole bunch that hide behind a Dom personae simply to camouflage a total disrespect for women.

quote:

So I have gone into Ask A Master on occasion if a topic catches my eye. I however wouldn't be caught dead posting in a venue such as the Gorean thread. Though I will respect people's right to live out their lives the way they wish, I find that such a mentality that always holds women inferior to men goes against every single one of my principles,....

.

Ditto what LA said.

Ms. Eden

< Message edited by MaitresseEden -- 11/13/2005 12:18:09 PM >

_____________________________

"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 16

RE: Ask a Master - 11/13/2005 1:11:56 PM

Nuke718

Posts: 240
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

Well, I am not a mistress but I certainly feel free to read here, and sometimes reply if I have anything to add to the discussion.

I regulary read Master, Mistress, Sub , and Switch as well as General forums. I look at most of the otheres pretty regularly, at least to scan new topics. I look for topics that catch my eye. It'd not about which board they are to me, but what they have to say.

I even pop in on the Poly and Gor boards once in a while. I dont read much on either,and post even less there, but I like to see if their is something worth learning or that is entertaining.

I guess the point to my rambling discussion of MY habits is, don't let lables keep you from anything.

Nuke }:-

(in reply to MaitresseEden)

Post #: 17

RE: Ask a Master - 11/14/2005 4:29:54 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

So I have gone into Ask A Master on occasion if a topic catches my eye. I however wouldn't be caught dead posting in a venue such as the Gorean thread. Though I will respect people's right to live out their lives the way they wish, I find that such a mentality that always holds women inferior to men goes against every single one of my principles, much in the way that Female Superiority/Supremacy does.

- LA/LadyAngelika

i have ended up posting pretty much everywhere, because i have read someone's posts and liked them and wanted to respond. If i recall correctly, there was a debate about respect on the Gorean Forum Section and it was very open to non-Gor people. i stumbled onto it by following someone else; for awhile i did not even realise it was where it was, LOL.

IMO, at least Men my age have struggled with the feminist movement and the requirement some women (Domme or subbie or slave) have put up for mutual respect from a Man. i have great nose, at my age, for disrespect and it's one reason i stop communicating with a Man.

From what i can tell, amoung the Next Generation -- i mean everyone, not just BDSM people -- the issue of mutual respect between Men and Women has been less of a problem. Younger Men seem to grasp that Woman hold positions of power in the workplace and that they expect some household chores to be shared. It certainly is not across-the-board and i'm not saying the Next Generation completely "gets it", but i see progress.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/14/2005 4:31:17 AM >

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 18

RE: Ask a Master - 11/15/2005 8:20:56 AM

HeavenlyCeleste

Posts: 82
Joined: 9/12/2005
Status: offline

I read them, and even respond to them sometimes. Once in awhile I find a grain of info I can use.

(in reply to WalterRego)

Post #: 19

RE: Ask a Master - 11/15/2005 3:02:48 PM

pandora29

Posts: 22
Joined: 8/19/2005
Status: offline

I have gone into all of them at least once to see the threads and even had read some,i have taken the view that just because they are not my views on many of the threads i refuse to knock O/others for how they see the lifestyle.I feel that's what's wrong with many people in the world they believe their opinon is the only one and it's right...if that was the case the world would still think the sun revovled around the earth.

(in reply to WalterRego)

Post #: 20

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