Novice submissive + experienced Dom =??

Novice submissive + experienced Dom =?? (Full Version)

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Jupiterfalling -> Novice submissive + experienced Dom =?? (7/9/2008 3:47:02 PM)
thoughts?

greenearth21 -> RE: Novice submissive + experienced Dom =?? (7/9/2008 4:20:34 PM)
I feel more comfortable with an experienced dom....most who tend to be older than me...which works out perfectly. I have experienced a relationship with an inexperienced dom and it was just awkward. For me its more personal because I prefer a dominant man and if someone is inexperienced...I fear that I'd be dominant as well which is something i'm not interested in at all, thus eventually making the relationship awkward and not so fun for me.

clodivs -> RE: Novice submissive + experienced Dom =?? (7/9/2008 4:23:19 PM)
I have yet to see anyone who actually prefers an inexperienced dom. A lot of subs that I've seen, whether they're experienced or not, explicitly want an experienced dom, and some don't specify, but it seems that everyone wants an experienced one.

Jupiterfalling -> RE: Novice submissive + experienced Dom =?? (7/9/2008 5:20:26 PM)
Thank you both for your responses. That's my feeling exactly. Here's the thing. I have a very hot male friend who is an experienced Dom. I recently told him about my desires (which I have hid for years) and he has offered to have me sub. I've never done this before and I know he is of the harsher nature. I don't want to miss this opportunity, nor do I want to ruin it. I'm quite afraid of jumping in, without knowing how much I can handle or how much will be given to me. I need the right transition into reality. Do I verify myself with others first or risk annoying him by communicating it?

AquaticSub -> RE: Novice submissive + experienced Dom =?? (7/9/2008 5:22:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: clodivs I have yet to see anyone who actually prefers an inexperienced dom. A lot of subs that I've seen, whether they're experienced or not, explicitly want an experienced dom, and some don't specify, but it seems that everyone wants an experienced one. I don't actually care. I prefer a dom who meshes with me outside of kink and BDSM, whom I can build a life and a family with. If he's experienced, ok great - he can teach me. If not, ok great - we get to learn together.

AquaticSub -> RE: Novice submissive + experienced Dom =?? (7/9/2008 5:24:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jupiterfalling I don't want to miss this opportunity, nor do I want to ruin it. I'm quite afraid of jumping in, without knowing how much I can handle or how much will be given to me. I need the right transition into reality. Do I verify myself with others first or risk annoying him by communicating it? Why would it annoy him? If you are nervous, wouldn't he want to know so that he can set you straight regarding what he intends to do? If he is experienced and good with novices (two completely different things) then I'm sure he understands that you don't know what you can handle yet.

Jupiterfalling -> RE: Novice submissive + experienced Dom =?? (7/9/2008 5:27:44 PM)
good point. i don't know whether or not he is. it could be his way or no way.

AquaticSub -> RE: Novice submissive + experienced Dom =?? (7/9/2008 5:30:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jupiterfalling good point. i don't know whether or not he is. it could be his way or no way. Could be. Or he could be completely willing to work with you and help you figure out what you want to know. The problem is that we can't tell you. Only he knows.

Jupiterfalling -> RE: Novice submissive + experienced Dom =?? (7/9/2008 5:38:52 PM)
better ask and inform or avoid proposal? (best proposal ever)..sigh thank you for your answers, aquatic:)

MadRabbit -> RE: Novice submissive + experienced Dom =?? (7/9/2008 5:48:01 PM)
I find it best to take the analytical approach to this constant question. Experience in what? Maybe if we are talking about needles, knives, and whips, but that falls into the category of "Top". I find that the amount of experience that the Dominant has in power based relationships is irrelevant in light of character, common sense, and a good head. My personal experiences is that submissive women generally find older men with more life experience attractive and thus the infatuation with experience is born. Dominant men know this and increase the infatuation by flaunting their "experience" as if something of extraordinary value. Edited to Add : For the sake of fairness, I find that the one benefit of experience is more understanding of what a person wants and therefore more constinstency. However, self awareness and that kind of understanding takes a lot of experience and time and people are constantly growing and changing, regardless.

Roselaure -> RE: Novice submissive + experienced Dom =?? (7/9/2008 5:48:40 PM)
Like peanut butter and jelly, my friend.

MadRabbit -> RE: Novice submissive + experienced Dom =?? (7/9/2008 5:52:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: clodivs I have yet to see anyone who actually prefers an inexperienced dom. A lot of subs that I've seen, whether they're experienced or not, explicitly want an experienced dom, and some don't specify, but it seems that everyone wants an experienced one. Well, when all the experienced Doms die, were all fucked, huh? [:D] Nah, seriously...I am sure all the inexperienced ones will poster themselves as experienced and the cycle will continue much like it does now.

Missokyst -> RE: Novice submissive + experienced Dom =?? (7/9/2008 6:02:34 PM)
I am ok with novice sub novice dom. Novice sub experienced dom. Novice dom experienced sub. And experienced sub, experienced dom. As long as everyone knows where they stand and are willing to jump in the belief that no one is right all the time, and people are human and will make mistakes, then things tend to sort themselves out. People may have years of experience.. making the same mistakes. I prefer an adjustable attitude.. Kyst

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Novice submissive + experienced Dom =?? (7/9/2008 6:09:23 PM)
Everyone is new to everyone at the beginning. Don't let your assumptions prevent you from new experiences.

Jupiterfalling -> RE: Novice submissive + experienced Dom =?? (7/9/2008 6:09:25 PM)
ahhhh...assumptions and too many expectations are a downfall

QuietPeppermint -> RE: Novice submissive + experienced Dom =?? (7/9/2008 6:46:41 PM)
Hmmm. I'm a new sub [as in, I've never been owned], but I don't know if I want someone TOO experienced. What if they rush me ... ? I would actually love someone who could explore it with me as much as I would love someone who would guide me. But that's just me. Good luck with your hot friend :]

leakylee -> RE: Novice submissive + experienced Dom =?? (7/9/2008 8:11:27 PM)
alot of subs prefer more experienced doms. personally when i started, my first dom had more kink experience than me, but no more Ds than i did. she was as green as i was on that front. personally on the kink side i prefer more experience, or someone that is very open minded and willing to learn. mainly because of my own personal kinks..hehe. Ms side, a good portion of that comes with time, but the inclinations, and the chemistry.. if it is there, it is there. dominance is natural. the draw to the person will come or it wont. lee

CruelDesires -> RE: Novice submissive + experienced Dom =?? (7/9/2008 9:21:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: QuietPeppermint Hmmm. I'm a new sub [as in, I've never been owned], but I don't know if I want someone TOO experienced. What if they rush me ... ? I would actually love someone who could explore it with me as much as I would love someone who would guide me. But that's just me. Good luck with your hot friend :] If the D rushes you.. then he is taking you out of your "comfort zone" and probably NOT experianced. :) CD

masterforRT -> RE: Novice submissive + experienced Dom =?? (7/9/2008 11:30:02 PM)
IMHO, A great combination! I prefer to train my subs my way (and I assume that others feel this way too). A newbie allows this. I have met many subs that were trained in a way incompatible with my methods and would have made poor sub candidates for me.

DarkSteven -> RE: Novice submissive + experienced Dom =?? (7/10/2008 5:15:24 AM)
Jupiterfalling, you seem yo have some fear that more experienced somehow equates to more hardcore activities. It shouldn't. You also think that communicating with him will annoy him. It shouldn;t. Any real Dom will want communication from his or her sub. It's a bad thing to traumatize someone. Ask him what the first session might be like. If a proposed activity frightens you, ask him to not do it. Enjoy.

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