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To Sleep Per Chance To Dream - 7/9/2008 9:53:23 PM   
firstslaveca


Posts: 46
Joined: 4/29/2008
Status: offline 		I just awoke from a very realistic dream that has thrown me considerably, so if i am not making sence please forgive me. My question to the Dominants is have you ever released someone, and yet somewhere in you still felt like they were yours?
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RE: To Sleep Per Chance To Dream - 7/9/2008 9:54:31 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Sure, but they weren't.  When I end a relationship, it's ended.

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RE: To Sleep Per Chance To Dream - 7/9/2008 9:56:35 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*hugs*

I have had break ups where, in a place inside my heart, the feelings I had for someone never go away.. so, in answer to your question, yes..  there will always be room in my heart for those that I have loved (and I'd like to think its reciprocal)

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: To Sleep Per Chance To Dream - 7/9/2008 10:03:09 PM   
firstslaveca


Posts: 46
Joined: 4/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

*hugs*

I have had break ups where, in a place inside my heart, the feelings I had for someone never go away.. so, in answer to your question, yes..  there will always be room in my heart for those that I have loved (and I'd like to think its reciprocal)


and i hope so also, but i am not talking just fond memories, or a "special place in ones heart" hell i am so confused i am not sure i know WHAT i am talking about, i mean still feel that you own them, that for circumstances you have released them, you have technically released them, but inside you havent really


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RE: To Sleep Per Chance To Dream - 7/9/2008 10:18:47 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		hmm... ok, in a way, yes.. that place in the heart?  It always owns them.. fortunately, the rest of me overrides that - I may remain friends with them, and I will always care..

Sorry, I'm not sure I'm being clear..I hate when I know what I mean, but what I say doesnt seem RIGHT...

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: To Sleep Per Chance To Dream - 7/9/2008 10:33:14 PM   
firstslaveca


Posts: 46
Joined: 4/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

hmm... ok, in a way, yes.. that place in the heart?  It always owns them..


is clear to me, but then we have established my brain is as clear as mud at the moment, lol, but ty, and i think this is what comes across from him more than a year after my release and caused my subconscious to throw this strange dream at me.

i have sensed he still feels some sort of an ownership of me but have dismissed it because i know we dont work and i know he knows we just dont work, but still somehow theres that feeling in some things he has said over the past year.

having you validate that you can feel this somewhere in you even though you intentionally override it helps, thank you for answering.

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RE: To Sleep Per Chance To Dream - 7/9/2008 10:37:43 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*hugs* sweetie..

I'm glad my muddy answer helped..

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: To Sleep Per Chance To Dream - 7/10/2008 3:37:01 AM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline 		Of course.

Time heals.  A good roll helps. 


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bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

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RE: To Sleep Per Chance To Dream - 7/10/2008 7:38:55 AM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		Yes....of course...
 
For me, it was the spiritual bonds that lingered....around...

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RE: To Sleep Per Chance To Dream - 7/10/2008 8:59:37 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		Freud would say it is because of your Hate toward your mother that you have created an internal bond with this masculine figure to emulate the motherly bond that you were missing, that just as a baby bird will leave the nest it always remains a part of it's Mother, this Masculine Figure represents the motherly bond you sought from your mother.

Then again Freud did enough Cocaine to Kill a Large Elephant so maybe he was just CRAZY.

Internal Slavery is a strange bedfellow. I know girl who even when released feel that they are still owned and will continue to attempt any form of service that they can provide until being forced to leave thier Dominant alone. There are also girls who become so devoted to thier Masters that leaving isn't really an option for them and restraining orders have to be filed.

I also know a few Masters who believe that once they own a slave they always own "it" and even when they tire of it and send them away they believe that they are still owned property and can be retrived at any time.

The Main point you should remember however is that Free Agency and Free Will always prevail in these situations the Master and the slave can think whatever they want there is never a requirement on the other to agree to these beliefs.

Steel

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Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
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RE: To Sleep Per Chance To Dream - 7/10/2008 9:08:07 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Be careful.  I work for my x and he would often reveal in subtle and not so subtle ways he wanted me.  He continued that until I let him know I could not tolerate it any longer and would tell his new mate if he didn't stop.  We still work together but he comes over less often now and he does not continue to make me feel hope.
Sometimes they fan the flames just to see you burn.
Get the smoke out of your eyes before everything is clouded. 
Kyst

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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


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RE: To Sleep Per Chance To Dream - 7/10/2008 9:22:05 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		A while ago we had a thread where a married guy released his sub because wifey found out, but he was pissed off that the sub went and found someone else because he believed that he had a right to have a say in who was going to be her next dom.  Untold number of pages later, I don't think one single person agreed with him.

Cali


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RE: To Sleep Per Chance To Dream - 7/10/2008 9:29:20 AM   
SadisticalDomme


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Sometimes they fan the flames just to see you burn.
Get the smoke out of your eyes before everything is clouded. 
Kyst


ty for this....is probably spot on

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RE: To Sleep Per Chance To Dream - 7/10/2008 9:34:36 AM   
firstslaveca


Posts: 46
Joined: 4/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SadisticalDomme

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Sometimes they fan the flames just to see you burn.
Get the smoke out of your eyes before everything is clouded. 
Kyst


ty for this....is probably spot on


perhaps......he did tend to be an emotional sadist

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RE: To Sleep Per Chance To Dream - 7/10/2008 10:31:19 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		hello first slave ca,
Well I was about to say something about bonding and caring and closeness... but if he's an emotional sadist.... oh girl... be careful! 

Ending relationships... It's like.. do you ever want to go back and visit the house you grew up in, but your parents already sold it, so you have to go knock on a stranger's door?  It's like that.  You don't have to let the former person in... Some people CHOOSE to.  I remember going to the house where my bio mother raised me the first 4 years of my life.  The people were kind enough to let me inside and walk around, remembering what scant memories I had of her.  The kitchen was familiar, and one bedroom (mine?  hers?  Who knows?)...   They measured my intent, saw it to be honorable, and decided I was safe and they opened the door.  But they didn't have to let me in.

Like the house that was in my memory... It's a part of you, but not yours.  Clarifying that difference is the key.  Some people have a harder time with that than others. 

FWIW
sunshine

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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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RE: To Sleep Per Chance To Dream - 7/10/2008 10:35:21 AM   
firstslaveca


Posts: 46
Joined: 4/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

It's a part of you, but not yours.  Clarifying that difference is the key.  Some people have a harder time with that than others. 

FWIW
sunshine


i dont know which one of us is having trouble clarifying the difference, perhaps both

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RE: To Sleep Per Chance To Dream - 7/10/2008 1:13:44 PM   
Constrictor1


Posts: 143
Joined: 6/29/2006
From: Constrictor1
Status: offline 		I don't feel like they (the released) are still mine. I do however miss each and every one of them.

Constrictor1

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RE: To Sleep Per Chance To Dream - 7/10/2008 1:20:07 PM   
firstslaveca


Posts: 46
Joined: 4/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Constrictor1

I don't feel like they (the released) are still mine. I do however miss each and every one of them.

Constrictor1


so it would never cross your mind to "command" them in any way, and expect them to obey?

(in reply to Constrictor1)
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RE: To Sleep Per Chance To Dream - 7/10/2008 1:37:21 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		See maybe that is a different story I know many Dom's (AKA Wankers) who get off on knowing that even something they do not own still obeys them. It's an Arrogance thing. If he is still comanding you and you are still obeying him and you don't want to then I suggest you stop and inform him that he no longer owns you. Remember you give him the power when you surender to his desires.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

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RE: To Sleep Per Chance To Dream - 7/10/2008 1:40:58 PM   
Lumus


Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline 		While I would agree with most here that even after things are over, you choose a person for reasons that might still make them appealing to you after the fact, I'm seeing one thing missing.

This is just rhetorical, OP, for you to consider on your own terms:  why did it end, and have the influences causing the end changed or disappeared?  My first LT relationship was on and off like the spin of a revolving door because - well, we were both young, stupid, and kept overlooking the reasons why we didn't get along in favour of the reasons why we did.  Whatever caused the end for the two of you - have the factors changed?  If not, put that first, before you put yourself second.

Cheers.



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I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

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