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Mercnbeth -> RE: Advice: Going from online to real live. (11/11/2005 12:49:02 PM)
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quote:
i have been in the lifstyle for about 10 years, most all of it has been spent online.
Michael,
I swear by all the beth holds as Holy that what I am about to say is NOT meant to be insulting, but you have NOT been, "in the lifestyle for about 10 years". Not if your experience has been exclusively on-line. On-line is the equivalent of "gaming simulations".
There are people, my son for one, who can fly a Boeing 747 across country without a problem on a computer flight simulator, but I won't want him to somehow get access to the plane I was flying by representing that he had 10 years of flight experience. He may be better at flying the 747 than I would be with zero flight simulator experience, but it I were traveling with him and the crew was somehow disabled, I'd prefer a pilot with one day of "hand's-on" experience on a Cessna over my son's computer skills.
As far as making the transition, if you have plans to go out and attend munches or meet individuals you've already begun to make it. Just put it in your head that you are going to do it and follow through. Don't fall back to the comfort level that you have with your on-line community.
Be HONEST with your experience. What on-line does provide is a reference point. You have observed and learned much during your 10 years. You likely know the vernacular. You will know what someone is taking about when they refer to a cropping, caning, flogging. That's an asset that the novice submissives that I met a long time ago pre-Internet, did NOT. I'd suggest that if someone you meet asks if you've ever been caned, don't say, "yes! I love it", if your experience reference point comes from your on-line adventures.
You are already using the most important part of you that you will be bringing into a real time relationship - your mind. You've had to use it to enjoy on-line. Don't leave it on your computer desk. The mind and thought process as a submissive or as a dom, are very important. In real time, you'll have to compliment those skills with some logical 'left-brain' functions like common sense and self preservation. Don't put your fantasy thoughts and expectations ahead of real life issues of safety. Make sure the person you meet with is worthy of your submission and your trust. Don't worry about what kind of collar you'll wear. Don't assume the Dom/me has any more experience than you do just because he/she demands you call him Master/Mistress, or is wearing a leather outfit right out of "S/m Vogue". Trust your own judgment before your trust anyone else's. Don't compromise your integrity, your relationship goals, or your safety.
As other's have said, it's most important to just be you.
Good LUCK! Welcome to the pool! Come on in! Diving or walking down the small steps in the low end, eventually you'll get wet. If it's really for you, you won't believe how refreshing and invigorating the water is. If it's not, leave and get dried off no worse for the experience and knowing at least you tried.
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