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Public Humilation Pros and Cons - 7/9/2008 10:37:18 PM

atlantafemmeboy

Posts: 2
Joined: 7/9/2008
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Hi, this is my first post...look forward to many more. I have played with a Domme who was very interested in public humilation, particularly having me dress to and from her home. I became comfortable with this over time but I often found myself donning a jacket or other cover up in the car and occassionally I would change before I got on a major street. Since this Domme moved away I have discussed this with others and it seems to be a strong interest for some and a concern for others. I would never want to put someone's privacy in question while at the same time it can be an extremly fun way to prepare in advance for sessions and get in the proper head space. I do find myself struggling though with what is acceptable to wear. Often flats instead of heels and pants instead of a skirt, just challenging to go all the way. For those of You who are into this kind of play- what are your opinions, is it worth it and what level of feminization do You think is appropriate? Thanks in advance

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RE: Public Humilation Pros and Cons - 7/10/2008 6:54:19 AM

SaraZeal

Posts: 144
Joined: 10/2/2007
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Appropriate all depends on you, and who you are with, it's usually a compromise, unless you want no say at all in it, then it's all her decision. I'd go with what you're comfortable being seen as, without fearing for your job or whatever has importance to you. If play makes you lose your job, it could affect the relationship I'd say.

There is no 'law' against cross-dressing as far as I know, that are still applicable, but employers can often apply their own bias, and fire you for it (if you're seen). It's happened in Quebec province to someone (who wasn't playing, they just presented as female off the job), and this province is pretty liberal compared to the US. Got fired over it because of being seen in a mall (and they worked in a college, obviously not the mall). Was able to sue them over discrimination, but well this person is a lawyer too. Most people wouldn't have the means to sue an employer over this.

(in reply to atlantafemmeboy)

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RE: Public Humilation Pros and Cons - 7/10/2008 6:58:52 AM

LadyPact

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I still say that when the site updated and gave us the use of all the new smilies, they should have created one with a fishing poll.

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RE: Public Humilation Pros and Cons - 7/10/2008 7:50:59 AM

Anoush

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/10/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: atlantafemmeboy

For those of You who are into this kind of play- what are your opinions, is it worth it and what level of feminization do You think is appropriate?

You really need to answer those questions for yourself, don't you think? If you're happy in your relationship, fine, and if you're not, do something about it. Don't worry about what other people are doing or think is appropriate.

(in reply to atlantafemmeboy)

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RE: Public Humilation Pros and Cons - 7/10/2008 11:11:32 AM

Shawn1066

Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
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The greatest con I see with some forms of public humiliation is that sometimes the two people involved might not take the numberous other people who are witnessing it into account. It's not just something between, lets say, a Dom and a sub. It's something that can involve a whole lot of people. In this case, I can't honestly say I think public humiliation is such a good idea sometimes. You really risk forcing your kink onto other people.

I mean, lets say you're doing public humiliation in the middle of a mall food court. Lets say the Dom involved is having her sub lick her boots in public, and it's something that they're totally getting a rush out of. There are also countless men, women, and children who are completely confused and mortified. While some of you disagree, I think this presents a bit of a moral dillema. I don't think you should blatantly expose your kink to other people.

In closing, because I have to House of the Dead 2 with my Owner, I think there are ways to --simulate-- public humiliation in a way that doesn't offend and/or disturb other people(and still get the same rush) and there are also ways to do public humiliation around a group of people who share your kink and a part of the scene(a public event). Also, as my Owner was so kind to remind me, there are ways to do actual public humiliation and not expose yourself to anybody at all.

DV's Fox

(in reply to Anoush)

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RE: Public Humilation Pros and Cons - 7/10/2008 5:05:33 PM

atlantafemmeboy

Posts: 2
Joined: 7/9/2008
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Lady Pact- not fishing at all but I do appreciate the responses. It is a significant issue for me as I find myself often trying to create the perfect scenario. I have always found it hard to seperate vanilla and kink and for me personally it is so much better if I can be in a sub mindset and not have to just "turn it on" when I am in Mistress's playspace.

But I also don't want to take this too far, I mean there is a big difference between stockings, panties and light makeup when in otherwise male attire than a short skirt, sky heels and a slutty painted face. I have done the latter and found myself running for cover. So how do you get past that and what is okay without being obscene or putting someone in harm.

(in reply to atlantafemmeboy)

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RE: Public Humilation Pros and Cons - 7/10/2008 7:15:06 PM

SaraZeal

Posts: 144
Joined: 10/2/2007
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Without putting someone potentially in harm you either dress inconspicuously, or you get seen as a woman. If you feel off to people, including body language, they'll pick up on it.

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RE: Public Humilation Pros and Cons - 7/10/2008 7:23:23 PM

ServingGirrl

Posts: 115
Joined: 10/10/2007
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline

Someone once wrote "There is nothing so uncommon as common sense" There is a huge difference in the rush you can get from your kink to the fear of being endangered by it. If it feels dangerous or inappropriate, it probably is.

A good Dom/me values their property and would never endanger it just for kicks, so putting someone in an extreme public situation seems unwise to me, as one or both of the participants could find themselves the object of negative - even violent - response. We should all be free to indulge our kink but the SSC mantra needs to be repeated over and over; Safe, Sane, Consensual

(in reply to SaraZeal)

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RE: Public Humilation Pros and Cons - 7/10/2008 8:13:51 PM

tasha_tart

Posts: 385
Joined: 2/20/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SaraZeal

Appropriate all depends on you, and who you are with, it's usually a compromise, unless you want no say at all in it, then it's all her decision. I'd go with what you're comfortable being seen as, without fearing for your job or whatever has importance to you. If play makes you lose your job, it could affect the relationship I'd say.

There is no 'law' against cross-dressing as far as I know, that are still applicable, but employers can often apply their own bias, and fire you for it (if you're seen). It's happened in Quebec province to someone (who wasn't playing, they just presented as female off the job), and this province is pretty liberal compared to the US. Got fired over it because of being seen in a mall (and they worked in a college, obviously not the mall). Was able to sue them over discrimination, but well this person is a lawyer too. Most people wouldn't have the means to sue an employer over this.

Any employer can fire anyone, any time, for anything. It will always be up to the individual to fight it, through a union or prfessional association, the courts, or human rights bodies.

In Ontario, the Human Rights Code prohibits discrimination on the basis of gender identity, since it is viewed as a form of sex discrimination. Under recent changes to the Code (Our Changing Mission), everyone bringing a human rights complaint will have access to legal advice and/or representation, regardless of income.

Tasha

(in reply to SaraZeal)

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RE: Public Humilation Pros and Cons - 7/10/2008 9:51:17 PM

SaraZeal

Posts: 144
Joined: 10/2/2007
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quote:

Any employer can fire anyone, any time, for anything. It will always be up to the individual to fight it, through a union or prfessional association, the courts, or human rights bodies.

Well, even if that's true, that doesn't stop employers from knowingly violating this, since they don't expect to be brought to court. Even if you get free counsel and representation, most people want to avoid trouble. I personally would only sue a company that I had a lot of interest in joining, for discrimination.

I'm sure they could also argue semantics, say it's not gender identity because it was 'play', or something like that. Most likely they'd bring company image concerns of some such modern bullshit to conceal their real reasons.

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RE: Public Humilation Pros and Cons - 7/11/2008 2:42:45 AM

iwearpanties

Posts: 509
Joined: 7/21/2005
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Atlanta fem boy

i understand what your going thur and if you want too send me a private mesage to talk that very kool and ok with me . what i can tell you is if your going to dress as fem in public do it in nice way ot overly done make up that makes you look like a clown or like tammy fay baker . but if your Mistress wants you as male in fme clothes try female jeans and topps Most clothes now a days pass as both male and female . and many suib who wear do also wear under there male clothes bras, panties, stocking ect . i think the idea should be funn exciting and humiliatieing in good way not a way too draw attention so you make the news on locla tv ....... i say enjoy and have funn but also do it with others in mind

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