BDSM rules to survive slasher and horror movies (Full Version)

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jlf1961 -> BDSM rules to survive slasher and horror movies (7/10/2008 9:07:06 AM)

I am sure that we have all seen Scream, and the guy that was telling everyone how to survive in a situation where there was a deranged killer on the loose.

Well, after due consideration, I feel that those rules would not apply to anyone in the BDSM community, since, for the most part we have already broken them.....

So, with the rapid rise in violence and deranged killers on the loose (not to mention reality tv shows on the rise) I suggest we come up with some basic rules to insure our survival....

Right off the top of my head I would say,
 do not piss off the headless guy, the guy with the machete, mummy, shark, or any other critter and or undead thing that may wish to harm someone.

In fact, I would go so far as to suggest that we do whatever we have to in order to get on his good side! 

History shows that dragons can be appeased with human sacrifices, I am sure there is something that will make the killer/monster/undead creature happy.
For a vampire, give them the keys to the blood bank.
For the headless horseman, give him a head, but then he may just want some good looking female to give him head.
For the goalie masked, machete swinging undead killer, point out that his mother is the real reason he has such a hard time making friends, then take him to a party and get him laid.
The mummy usually wants his reincarnated queen, help the guy find her.
The werewolf is probably just hungry, give him the keys to a meat market.

See, there are very simple rules to surviving your basic horror movie situation.

Still, I feel that not pissing the creature off in the first place is a damn good idea.

If you saw Sleepy Hollow, the Johnny Depp and this other guy decided to fight the headless horseman.  After shooting the horseman, I would have figured out that killing him would be impossible, and let him go about his business.  Instead, the other guy decided to try and fight him with a pair of hay knives. 
We saw what that got him.
Proof that you do not piss off the undead guy.



parttimehotty -> RE: BDSM rules to survive slasher and horror movies (7/10/2008 9:09:46 AM)

Arr, arr, arrr! When I saw the "Slasher" I thought it was a post on how to survive certain "SLASH" posts [sm=lol.gif]

**Where'd the slasher disappear to? Hope she stays there**



jlf1961 -> RE: BDSM rules to survive slasher and horror movies (7/10/2008 9:16:51 AM)

Well part time hottie, I will assure you that should a sacrifice be needed, I would not suggest you take the part of the sacrifice.

Unless the evil thing offered me ownership of the last 165 playboy playmates and the money to support such a herd in the manner in which they should be for at least 1000 years..........[sm=evil.gif]



parttimehotty -> RE: BDSM rules to survive slasher and horror movies (7/10/2008 11:44:05 AM)

[sm=afraid.gif]



Lumus -> RE: BDSM rules to survive slasher and horror movies (7/10/2008 2:50:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

[sm=afraid.gif]


When Doors Attack...?

[how she dooin, anyhoo?]




kiwisub12 -> RE: BDSM rules to survive slasher and horror movies (7/10/2008 3:57:49 PM)

oh - oh   -  i have one - if there are strange noises  behind a door - DON'T open it!!!!!!   Go straight to your bed and get in - naked of course. And hope that the strange noises are from your dom trying to surprise you.

or

if your cell phone rings, and you don't know who it is and its a rainy night and the power is out and you are all alone - don't answer it and make a safe call..



jlf1961 -> RE: BDSM rules to survive slasher and horror movies (7/11/2008 4:33:37 AM)

Do not go outside to check out any strange noises

If the power goes out, dont volunteer to go fix it.

If you are on an intersteller cargo ship, DO NOT go chasing the ship's cat.



Lynnxz -> RE: BDSM rules to survive slasher and horror movies (7/11/2008 5:21:54 AM)

Ooo! Don't look back like a retard when running from the monster.





jlf1961 -> RE: BDSM rules to survive slasher and horror movies (7/11/2008 5:29:01 AM)

If you empty a full magazine of any kind of ammo into the critter and it keeps coming, run inside, close the door then look at DomAviator and say as sincerely as possible, "There is someone outside that wants to talk to  you."

As soon as DA goes outside, head out the back door, grab the only vehicle and bug out like there is no tomorrow.  If Lynnxz is in the building, throw her over your shoulder and take her with you.

Sorry DA, but when you empty a 50cal desert eagle into something and it just grins at you, it is EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF.



favesclava -> RE: BDSM rules to survive slasher and horror movies (7/11/2008 11:50:16 PM)

run the opposite way the bimbo is. she will look back while running , trip and fall victim . this gives you time to find a good hiding spot  to wait for daylight .



Vendaval -> RE: BDSM rules to survive slasher and horror movies (7/11/2008 11:54:08 PM)

Bring plenty of weapons and your best running shoes.
[sm=blasted.gif]



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