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RE: Am I too difficult? - 7/18/2008 11:41:27 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Why does it matter if there were other women? You communicated a need, he didn't fulfill it, you moved on. Not everything has to be awful and horrible, and not every relationship ends because someone was cheating. Speculating about why he might be at fault will keep you from enjoying the real life you really have in front of you.

Isn't it enough that you simply didn't have a good fit?

What a great post. It's refreshing to read something like this.

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RE: Am I too difficult? - 7/19/2008 12:01:00 AM

kuriousub

Posts: 3
Joined: 1/24/2008
Status: offline

Sometimes it is difficult to give up on something that you want so much. And doms have a way of zeroing in on what keeps you engaged. I have been involved in a LDR for over 18 mos. We have never met because every time we planned it, something came up. And they all seemed like legitimate reasons. Hurricanes, ice storms, floods, family member with cancer, business expansions....I have believed everything he says. But it doesn't erase the fact that I need hands on. I guess we are on hold, because we seldom talk. I wasn't really strong enough to end things when I had enough. Don't make the same mistake. I hope I don't next time.

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RE: Am I too difficult? - 7/19/2008 12:11:50 AM

MasterAndServant

Posts: 13
Joined: 9/25/2005
From: california
Status: offline

No offense, but i am really wondering why you even call him your dom ! ? !
That guy is ridiculous !

J.

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RE: Am I too difficult? - 7/19/2008 12:26:15 AM

caro44

Posts: 270
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

No you are not wrong. I just went through a similar situation. Thank goodness i only invested a couple of weeks in the guy. I'm moving on.

Tommorow is another day

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RE: Am I too difficult? - 7/19/2008 6:14:56 AM

sujuguete

Posts: 263
Joined: 7/3/2008
From: DC metro area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

This is pretty much why I won;t have a serious relationship for some time to come. I'm moving from a day job back towards self employment. My time will be hosed for years to come.

If only we ALL took this kind of responsibility before diving into a new relationship and promising the moon and stars. Doms and subs alike will often promise things they have no intention of doing, just to "hook" the latest catch.

It seems so silly and futile, because when someone doesn't deliver on the promises they made, someone else becomes unhappy, the relationship falters and someone gets hurt. Why can't everyone just be honest up front? Seems to me you would have a much better chance of finding the right match by accurately portraying your circumstances, rather than casting a wider net full of deception or half-truths.

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Post #: 25

RE: Am I too difficult? - 7/19/2008 6:40:01 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

no you're not being difficult but you're a fool to stay in a relationship that doesn't suit your needs. clearly this frustrates you so much that i got the feeling from your op you're kicking yourself for giving him a second, third, etc chances to repair the damaged relationship. also i got the feeling he's married (i could be wrong about that and i apologize) however all the signs are there - no time to spent with you, sudden family obligations

you have 2 simple options:

stay in the relationship, have time continually wasted by his inconsistency and failed promises, etc etc that's dooming this relationship

OR

tell him "enough is enough, i've had it" and walk away. once you walk away, don't look back ...keep on running to brighter pastures.

good luck

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Post #: 26

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