RE: The Gift You Give To Yourself

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RE: The Gift You Give To Yourself - 11/25/2005 2:19:04 PM

starshineowned

Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

'the gift of submission'

If someone refers to themselves as a "submissive"..then isn't or wouldn't saying "the gift of submission" just be a more profound way of saying they are giving themselves?

If they view the Dominance being exchanged back as equal that seems a okay metaphor for some to use, however, if there is haughty or almightness associated with one or the other referring to their submission or Dominance as a "gift"..i'd tend to say they were alittle to stuck on themselves, and generally their attitude in time will reflect the truth of that since it would not apply to all..as nothing ever does.

starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

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RE: The Gift You Give To Yourself - 11/25/2005 3:29:12 PM

shigglyboom

Posts: 110
Joined: 10/10/2005
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Say somebody gives me a puppy for Christmas. For the next 15-20 years I'm going to be responsible for feeding, walking, training, vet bills, poop cleanup, etc. Doesn't make the puppy any less of a gift... just means it's one I should think about carefully before I accept it.

Submission is a gift.
Dominance is a gift.

Both require the receiver to willingly accept a burden of responsibility. So does a gift of a puppy, a watch, a car, or a Blackberry device - all require responsibility on the part of an owner in order to remain a viable gift.

What makes us dominants and submissives, or even good dog owners, is that we knowingly accept and even cherish a certain burden of responsibilities because we appreciate the rewards. Dominants, as noted above, willingly incur burdens such as care, feeding, and guidance. A submissive, in receiving the gift of dominance, willingly incurs responsibilities such as: Sacrificing independence and aspects of individuality. Maintaining faith in the dom in the face of uncertainties. Willfully suspending doubts. Supporting the dominant as the dominant specifies. Giving up one's comfort for another's. And whatever else the dominant requires.

These are no small prices on either side... even for those who enjoy the burden. The gift being given by the other is the opportunity to take on that burden, as well as to reap its rewards.

The gift one gives oneself is to accept.

(in reply to Chaingang)

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RE: The Gift You Give To Yourself - 11/26/2005 2:30:55 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
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Submission is a gift and so is domination - but only to yourself. We are gifted with it - like a painter has a gift of art - writers and words....

If submission or dominance is a gift like a puppy - then you wouldn't take it way at any point. The submission would stay when you leave - and not every submissive or dominant are in LTRs.

If anything - if people have to use metaphor - its a memory. Something to be treasured or learnt from - but not a gift.

Peace and Love

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.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

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RE: The Gift You Give To Yourself - 11/26/2005 4:58:16 PM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
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Oh for heaven's sake. I enjoy a good laugh too but this is ridiculous.

It is your birthday so I spend two hundred and forty bucks for your ticket to that show you've wanted to see, twice as much for your plane fare to NY and the same again for a nice room for the long weekend. What the hell. Lemme buy your meals too, including dinner at a swanky club with the celebrity, literary light, or sports star who most interests you-- interrupted only by your favorite singer serenading you with a song I've written for the occasion. In the morning I'll squire you around to take in some art and architecture. Then it's out to the country for some horseback riding, or a round of golf or trap or croquet or whatever your favorite is. Then to the shore for a leisurely afternoon of sailing. How about a nice professional massage to cap it off?

How silly I'll feel when I notice your empty hands as you walk down the concourse to board your plane home. I haven't given you a "gift"!

I should have shat in your palm. You could have it bronzed.

If a you spend time with someone whom you have chosen and about whom you care--regardless of the eventual outcome of the relationship--you are enriched. You may choose to blind yourself to this enrichment but the fact remains, just as the fact remains that the vacation described above would be a fine gift irrespective of what torturously narrow definition someone may choose to apply to a word which means so very much more than "something I get to hold in my hands and keep."

Now if you personally have somehow managed to break this general rule and you have had a relationship worthy of the name, kinky or not, and actually came away utterly un-enriched--well then your values, judgement and modes of interacting are far more suspect than the preferred vocabulary of the person you were with.

Every friendship I have is a great gift comprised of innumerable smaller gifts--most of which aren't such that I can clutch them in my sweaty palm till I'm swallowed by the grave. I'm grateful for them just the same.

For those under the impression that all acts derive primarily from self-interest, great news! There is a vast and powerful aspect of the human condition which you can look forward to experiencing for the first time. It is a lovely experience and I hope it is granted to you sooner rather than later.

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Post #: 44