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>>> To train and guide the Sub ---- meani... - 11/11/2005 5:43:36 PM

MasterDaveKa

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Even after years of RT expereince, I read postings by submissives who seek a (THE) Dom that will "train and guide", i.e. "to make this one complete..." and I wonder!!!

What are the particular areas that these (or generically "any") submissive need?? The training and guidance in discipline and lifestyle obedience are obvious. I am wondering about the deeper, psychological, and "life support" needs that a Dom trains and guides a Sub to do!!! What SPECIFICALLY does a Dom "train and guide" his Sub to do ??????? Mine already knows many ways to please me, yet I suspect that there are other THINGS I need her to do !!!

OK, so its all relative, with each situation being different, but I am looking for the common denominators, and key points --- as you all see them. Thanks

< Message edited by MasterDaveKa -- 11/11/2005 6:00:33 PM >

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RE: To train and guide this Sub ---- meaning ???!!! - 11/11/2005 5:50:22 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
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From: Rochester, NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterDaveKa

Even after years of RT expereince, I read postings by submissives who seek a (THE) Dom that will "train and guide", i.e. "to make this one complete..." and I wonder!!!

I think you are mistaking those looking for training with those looking for a lifetime partner. You must remember, THE ONE is the last dom they will ever submit to.

Those actually looking for training, seek to improve their skills as slaves. They seek generic things that can be used to please anyone...

Some want the romance...

Taggard

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RE: To train and guide this Sub ---- meaning ???!!! - 11/11/2005 5:52:18 PM

girl4you2

Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterDaveKa

Even after years of RT expereince, I read postings by submissives who seek a (THE) Dom that will "train and guide", i.e. "to make this one complete..." and I wonder!!!

What are the particular areas that these (or generically "any") submissive need?? The training and guidance in discipline and lifestyle obedience are obvious. I am wondering about the deeper, psychological, and "life support" needs that a Dom trains and guides a Sub to do!!!

OK, so its all relative, with each situation being different, but I am looking for the common denominators, and key points --- as you all see them. Thanks

best way to find out an answer to a wonderment is to ask. as you have already surmised, there is no one common factor necessarily inherent in all submissives. most have service, giving of their skills, body, and sharing of their mind to bring to the relationship, but there or close would be where the commonality might end. each has their own unique set of skills and proficiency thereof, bodies are all different (along with limits upon this), and each has varying amounts of education, intelligence, and most importantly, wisdom to bring to the equation (and as to whether the equation balances is up for grabs on another thread). i'd imagine that each Dominant would wish to teach his ideas of obedience, guidance, and use of training in his or her own way.

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RE: To train and guide this Sub ---- meaning ???!!! - 11/11/2005 5:58:02 PM

slavejali

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quote:

I read postings by submissives who seek a (THE) Dom that will "train and guide", i.e. "to make this one complete..." and I wonder!!!

i think a lot of people talk poetically online...but saying that..underneath it all...they are probably seeking 1. love 2. someone who compliments their submissive feelings and can nuture those.

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RE: To train and guide this Sub ---- meaning ???!!! - 11/11/2005 5:59:15 PM

mnottertail

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Ja, people are different, thats why it is often hard to find a fit. It is that simple and complex at the same moment.

Ron

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RE: To train and guide this Sub ---- meaning ???!!! - 11/11/2005 6:00:14 PM

krikket

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Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
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i agree with Taggard on this...i would like to find the romance, not just the "feed, scene and fuck me" night. i want to know that my partner actually cares about me as a person, not just as a female body with the appropriate parts. When that connection isn't there, what i'm participating in is a top/bottom evening, and while nothing is wrong with that, i don't believe that what happens has anything to do with "training and guiding". i might be able to learn what the top is looking for, and serve him accordingly, but that type of relation isn't going to "complete" me or help me grow, nor do i believe i'll be able complete him. A top/bottom evening is fun, and i enjoy them, but eventually i want to be more than "just" a bottom or sub.

regards,
jk

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RE: To train and guide this Sub ---- meaning ???!!! - 11/11/2005 6:19:13 PM

fyreredsub

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and some of us are lucky enough to get training and romance at the same time,lol

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterDaveKa

Even after years of RT expereince, I read postings by submissives who seek a (THE) Dom that will "train and guide", i.e. "to make this one complete..." and I wonder!!!

I think you are mistaking those looking for training with those looking for a lifetime partner. You must remember, THE ONE is the last dom they will ever submit to.

Those actually looking for training, seek to improve their skills as slaves. They seek generic things that can be used to please anyone...

Some want the romance...

Taggard

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

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RE: To train and guide this Sub ---- meaning ???!!! - 11/11/2005 6:22:51 PM

fyreredsub

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love isn't part of my equation ...however i am definately nurtured as a person and as a sub.
i don't give any less of myself b/c he isn't the one..however it is more than scenes or play time....i cherish the time and respect that is given me by Sir and i let him know it all the time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

quote:

I read postings by submissives who seek a (THE) Dom that will "train and guide", i.e. "to make this one complete..." and I wonder!!!

i think a lot of people talk poetically online...but saying that..underneath it all...they are probably seeking 1. love 2. someone who compliments their submissive feelings and can nuture those.

< Message edited by fyreredsub -- 11/11/2005 6:23:38 PM >

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RE: To train and guide this Sub ---- meaning ???!!! - 11/11/2005 9:04:16 PM

BeachBear

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub

and some of us are lucky enough to get training and romance at the same time,lol

Indeed. I have spent the better part of my adult life as a sub, and have only recently discovered a Domina who was my soul mate. "The whole bing more then the sum of the parts" used to be a trite phrase......

bear

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RE: To train and guide this Sub ---- meaning ???!!! - 11/12/2005 5:57:40 AM

candystripper

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i have no BDSM experience, but i do have a very strong drive to please my One (if i ever find Him). Basically, with some exceptions, i'd do anything He asked once; if it was repugnant, i'd say "not again"; but if it was merely strange, uncomfortable, or weirded me out, i'd say "please teach me".

i think every Man is probably different in His wants/needs/desires, and so i await my One rather than seeking out play partners or dungeons in which i can "learn" to be flogged and such.

i want the love; romance is like a geat sense of humor. i probably need it as well to form a life time bond, but i'm not sure. i do know there's no need to be "trained" by any Man except my One, as He is the only Man i yearn to please.

i know everyone is different; i only speak for myself.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/12/2005 11:52:00 AM >

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RE: >>> To train and guide the Sub ---- m... - 11/12/2005 7:05:20 AM

LadiesBladewing

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We only work "in person" with servants, and don't keep online property, which certainly affects our choices in training and directing our servants. Ours are trained in everything. They are trained in proper posture, to protect their bodies and allow them to carry themselves with grace. They are trained in fiscal responsibility (with as much control as is required to make sure that they stick to the training), they are trained to entertain... diction, grammar, dance. They are directed to educate themselves in their field of expertise to improve their value to any outside employers they may have. They are trained in everything from first-class table service to meditation techniques, depending on their talents.

We could hire anyone to come and clean our house. The thing that makes the difference, for us, between hired help and our servant, is the mutual effort (yes, the servant has to work too...and work -hard-) put into shaping and guiding that individual to become -completely- themselves, and, at the same time, to dedicate that self in service to us.

Lady Zephyr

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RE: To train and guide this Sub ---- meaning ???!!! - 11/12/2005 9:58:42 AM

fyreredsub

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i feel that love (however one defines it)comes w/ time and knowing the individual.growing together as you share and the bond deepens(hopefully).for me trust comes first. i still guard my heart carefully, but the freedom and joy i know now,i didnt realize it existed before.
i dont know if i will have another master, i dont know what the future holds for me but i am happy in what i have found and that is what life is about.
would i like more, do i want love i dont know,but the romance i recieve as well as what i am learning is wonderful
.i am not owned at this point(altho collars are being discussed) nor do i know if i want to be right now.
TPE can be 24/7 w/out us living in the same home i know that i am not in a position to want to be 24/7 live in that entails more than what either of us want right now and we may never get to that point but its fine. its one o those whatever works for you kinda things,lol.

i cant speak for public play i have never done that and it is something i am leery of.

good luck in your searching...it isnt easy but i do believe one should hold on to their ideal of what is best for them....

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

i have no BDSM experience, but i do have a very strong drive to please my One (if i ever find Him). Basically, with some exceptions, i'd do anything He asked once; if it was repugnant, i'd say "not again; but if it was merely strange, uncomfortable, or weirded me out, i'd say "please teach me".

i think every Man is probably different in His wants/needs/desires, and so i await my One rather than seeking out play partners or dungeons in which i can "learn" to be flogged and such.

i want the love; romance is like a geat sense of humor. i probably need it as well to form a life time bond, but i'm not sure. i do know there's no need to be "trained" by any Man except my One, as He is the only Man i yearn to please.

i know everyone is different; i only speak for myself.

candystripper

sidenote to those that say its too soon or whatever....it is a collar signifiing the bond,not ownership

< Message edited by fyreredsub -- 11/12/2005 10:26:06 AM >

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RE: >>> To train and guide the Sub ---- m... - 11/12/2005 11:40:48 AM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterDaveKa

Even after years of RT expereince, I read postings by submissives who seek a (THE) Dom that will "train and guide", i.e. "to make this one complete..." and I wonder!!!

What are the particular areas that these (or generically "any") submissive need?? The training and guidance in discipline and lifestyle obedience are obvious. I am wondering about the deeper, psychological, and "life support" needs that a Dom trains and guides a Sub to do!!! What SPECIFICALLY does a Dom "train and guide" his Sub to do ??????? Mine already knows many ways to please me, yet I suspect that there are other THINGS I need her to do !!!

OK, so its all relative, with each situation being different, but I am looking for the common denominators, and key points --- as you all see them. Thanks

I think the common denominators you've already addressed. Discipline, lifestyle expectations and personal preferences. These are pretty standard.
There are things like gently pushing the person to go for the better job or promotion that they are afraid to go for, appearance polish items and general love, support, encouragement that they need. All of us have our fears or things that can be improved upon, IMO a successful pairing is about how you learn from each others experiences and what you learn from being together that is the most valuable.

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