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RE: Married submissive - 7/11/2008 6:50:01 PM

Aynne

Posts: 740
Joined: 1/25/2008
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Just omg 6, your posts kill me...too funny!

quote:

ORIGINAL: NumberSix

LOL, OK dommi kinda guy, you go for that and she owns your ass.

All, off the cuff, see?

Bet the cunt is white too, looking for some mandingo motherfucker. Tell me it ain't so Joe.........

You could just as well be a Black Labrador as that.

But it is your man-unit, and I can feature getting mine sucked.

You are headed for the fuckin' rhubarb in a big way, son.

Ron Melby

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(in reply to NumberSix)

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RE: Married submissive - 7/11/2008 6:55:00 PM

MissIsis

Posts: 473
Joined: 1/1/2005
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Best thing about married submissives, married dominants, married anything is that generally, you don't have to worry about them hanging their hat up in your home on a permanent basis. Their SO worries about picking up the socks, & dirty underwear on a regular basis. They are the ones that trip over the shoes & listen to the endless bitchfests. The recipient of an affair generally gets to put up with him or her when they are on their best behaviour.

Of course, her husband doesn't understand her desires. He is probably too tired from working long hours from his 2 jobs. She needs you & he probably needs the break.

Good luck to you.

(in reply to Aynne)

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RE: Married submissive - 7/11/2008 6:56:40 PM

Thadius

Posts: 5091
Joined: 10/11/2005
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That is also a possibility.

Perhaps that is why I update my recording of "If I am found dead, this is the motherfucker that did it " regularly. Then again I don't play with other people's toys, without permission.

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RE: Married submissive - 7/11/2008 7:02:47 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
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i a submissive and married just not to the same person. i am in a poly family as my dominant is married as well. all members of the dynamic are aware of the situation. W/we A/all had dinner together over x-mas. i wasn't looking for a poly situation but i am glad beyond measure that i was welcomed into one. i have found the most rewarding experience in this dynamic having 2 family's that love and support each other

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)

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Post #: 24

RE: Married submissive - 7/11/2008 7:06:59 PM

silkncarol

Posts: 318
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It depends what you're both looking for out of the relationship......

I don't see how she can serve two Masters.......her husband and marriage would be her primary consideration....
How will you feel when she cancels plans with you for him....or when she can't go home with marks....or when you have a need or desire she can't meet because she's at home with him..or how about when you exert control in some way that interferes with her marriage? When your heart becomes involved it can get rather complicated.....

If you're both going to enjoy the time together without many strings or emotional attachments..if you're both being completely honest with yourself and your expectations...then go for it.....

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Shoes can change your life................. Cinderella

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RE: Married submissive - 7/11/2008 7:49:02 PM

SirMIkeSD

Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
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Unless you can talk to the husband, walk the fuck away.

Mike

(in reply to Huntertn)

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RE: Married submissive - 7/11/2008 7:53:46 PM

yellowseeksred

Posts: 15
Joined: 1/30/2008
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I myself could NEVER trust anyone who was lying to their SO. Who's to say or stop them from lying to YOU? I thought trust was a big part of this. Not only does it show that she hides things and lies to get what she wants, it shows that you have no self dicipline or self respect and hide and lie to get what you want if you were to go through with it. Shame on anyone who'd stoop down to such a distasteful level.

(in reply to MasterEnigmaDom)

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RE: Married submissive - 7/12/2008 2:21:05 AM

Viridana

Posts: 754
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterEnigmaDom

Thanks for al the responces so far. No her husband dose not know and never will, he is not into the life and dose not understand.

How do you know? You haven't talked to him. How about letting the guy form his opinions and understandings for himself instead of you and his wife projecting yours upon him.

quote:

I would like to get some feedback from anyone who has a married submissive, not married to them. I have a female submissive that wants to serve me and will be faithful.

Dude, she's deceiving the guy that she vowed in front of family, friends and her diety of choice to honor and respect till death. Thinking that somehow you will receive better treatment than that is nothing short of delusional. ..... And I think you already know it.

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RE: Married submissive - 7/12/2008 7:07:36 AM

DarkSteven

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Joined: 5/2/2008
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I'm going to take a contrarian stance here.

IF the marriage is in the last death throes THEN this might very possibly work.

But if she plans on serving you while remaining married to him as a permanent deal, it ain't gonna work.

< Message edited by DarkSteven -- 7/12/2008 7:10:50 AM >

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RE: Married submissive - 7/12/2008 9:12:45 AM

AmbrosialWench

Posts: 50
Joined: 10/2/2007
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Since she is married and her husband doesn't know, then I don't think she is submissive at all. How could she be if she is someone who will do whatever it takes to get things the wants? That sounds like someone who is passive aggressive. Someone who is submissive and wishes to please would not do something which would hurt their partner so much. And she isn't strong enough to be Dominant either... My advice is stay away. You are just enabling her and she won't be able to find out who she really is inside nor will she be fullfilled.

(in reply to Huntertn)

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RE: Married submissive - 7/12/2008 9:34:19 AM

sylee

Posts: 9
Joined: 1/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AmbrosialWench

Since she is married and her husband doesn't know, then I don't think she is submissive at all. How could she be if she is someone who will do whatever it takes to get things the wants?... Someone who is submissive and wishes to please would not do something which would hurt their partner so much.

I think that the fact that the woman in general is "[willing] to do whatever it takes to get the things she wants" has more to do with her character than with her submissiveness. Being submissive does not mean that she is always going to do the right thing.

quote:

And she isn't strong enough to be Dominant either...

If she is a Dominant in submissive clothing, all of the previous observations from the other posters hold true, just substitute the word Dominant for submissive. Like this:

Being Dominant does not mean that she is always going to do the right thing.

Disclaimer for the second half of my post - I read the entire string, but when I wrote this, I didn't go back through to make sure I was making a 100% completely accurate statement.

(in reply to AmbrosialWench)

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RE: Married submissive - 7/12/2008 10:20:09 AM

roland23

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My greatest relationships have been with two married subs. One was separated long term, I guess that doesn't really count, but the other has been married sinc 1975. Her husband either doesn't know or doesn't care. Either way it is not my problem. The second sub is very discreet and I would urge you to proceed with caution. If a sub has a paranoid spouse or is using you to escape an unhappy marriage, runaway!

(in reply to Huntertn)

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RE: Married submissive - 7/12/2008 12:10:27 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterEnigmaDom

Thanks for al the responces so far. No her husband dose not know and never will, he is not into the life and dose not understand.

That's what i once thought, boy was i wrong. Has she ever discussed it with her hubby?

quote:

I would like to get some feedback from anyone who has a married submissive, not married to them. I have a female submissive that wants to serve me and will be faithful.

How can she be "faithful" if she's serving you? I know i wasn't with my first dom. What happens if you fall in love with her like dom did? I've been in your submissive's shoes and it is very stressful and very hard to completely hide it. Whether her hubby finds out or not, the guilt will always haunt her.

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(in reply to Viridana)

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RE: Married submissive - 7/12/2008 12:47:04 PM

PanthersMom

Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
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a married sub? why even bother?
PM

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RE: Married submissive - 7/12/2008 5:04:26 PM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
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Wow. Lot's of assumptions flaying around the ol' thread, aren't there?

Somehow, it's automatically assumed that someone's lying to somebody... God forbid everyone is actually upfront and honest with each other... you know, being adults and all...

There could be any number of reasons why a spouse might be going outside their marriage. Maybe they just need the variety, maybey they're kinky, but their husband or wife isn't, maybe their husband or wife is disabled and unable to satisfy their partner, or maybe their partner is gay, and their marriage is one established for "cover"... or maybe they just want to have fun, and it's actually okay with all concerned.

Sure, there are TONS of liars out there... people who want to just satisfy their own selfish needs. I'd just like to remind you (and a lot of the folks who are having kneejerk reactions here) that there are also a lot of us who don't exactly fit the "Ozzie and Harriet" mold. Those of us who are open in our relationships- who are "ethical sluts"- deserve as much of shot at being happy and sexually satisfied as anyone else. But it's up to you, Thadius, to decide if you want to go this route...if this relationship is worth persuing or not. Because you should also remember, being part of a triad, shared partner, or poly arrangement can "mark you out of the herd" every bit as much as being part of the BDSM world can. It's one more thing you can be disapproved of for, and possibly discriminated against over. (Just look at the negative attitudes being flung about the thread here... and these folks are more enlightened that your nosey next door neighbors, your church fellowship, or even some of your close friends would be. [I call it the "Mrs. Kravitz" syndrome])
The posters on this thread who are correct, are the ones who tell you that you need to contact their S.O., and verify the situation. If it's relatively easy to do, then by all means go for it! If the sub keeps coming up with excuses, then just tell them your relationship is on "hold" until such time as you do get a chance to verify their story.

STD's, and being married, have something in common: You need to keep yourself safe, and on the high ground before proceeding. Health and ethics are of primary importance for long term happiness.

(in reply to PanthersMom)

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RE: Married submissive - 7/12/2008 6:38:10 PM

sylee

Posts: 9
Joined: 1/19/2008
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Actually, the belief that "someone is lying to somebody" is based on a statement by the OP. The OP also states that the reason he and the submissive are in the situation is, in fact, one of the reasons you put forth.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterEnigmaDom

Thanks for al the responces so far. No her husband dose not know and never will, he is not into the life and dose not understand.

As for me and her we have decided that if nothing else she needs me to train her to be the best sub/slave she can be.

(in reply to bipolarber)

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RE: Married submissive - 7/15/2008 8:45:28 PM

MrFester

Posts: 48
Joined: 6/17/2008
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I know this has been beat to death, but for the sake of sharing my opinion and upping my post count, I think to sleep with a married woman is about the shittiest thing a man can do. You deserve to burn in hell if you see this relationship ending well, and that's exactly where I would send you if it were my wife you were screwing.

(in reply to Huntertn)

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RE: Married submissive - 7/16/2008 7:41:46 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterEnigmaDom

Thanks for al the responces so far. No her husband dose not know and never will, he is not into the life and dose not understand.

So you're going to encourage her to break her vow and lie to the most important person in her life? Why would you want to be with someone that could lie on that level? D/s is based on trust and she's basing her relationship with you on a lie. And I can guarantee that she'll lie to you at some point. Also, are you okay with coming last? Because her husband and family will always come first.

Are you prepared to be dragged into a divorce? How about a child custody case?

quote:

As for me and her we have decided that if nothing else she needs me to train her to be the best sub/slave she can be.

Ummmmm...no. At the very least, she needs to grow up and deal with her own marriage and you need to stay out of it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: bipolarber

Somehow, it's automatically assumed that someone's lying to somebody... God forbid everyone is actually upfront and honest with each other... you know, being adults and all...

The OP has already stated that her husband doesn't know and she has no intention of telling him. That's pretty much the definition of lying.

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(in reply to MasterEnigmaDom)

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