MstrObjectmaker
Posts: 480
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Enjoy......
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk just sits there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either".
*******************************************************************
George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil
is waiting for him. I don't know what to do here, " says the devil. "You
are on my list but I have no room for you." You definitely have to stay
here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three folks here who
weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take
their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." George thought that sounded
pretty good, so he agreed.
The devil opened the first room: in it was Richard Nixon and a large
pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty-handed over and over and
over. Such was his fate in hell. "No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not
a good swimmer and don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room: in it was Tony Blair with a
sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after
time after time. "No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in
constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented George.
The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton, lying on
the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in spread
eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does
best. George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said,
"Yeah, I can handle this." The devil smiled and
said.........................................
OK, Monica, you're free to go!
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President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"
The barman says, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WW III ".
And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big boobs.
The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big boobs? Why kill a blonde with big boobs?
Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, smart a**, I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"
< Message edited by MstrObjectmaker -- 7/12/2008 12:00:57 PM >
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Some jokes I found..... - 
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