Apartment Rental (Full Version)

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AquarianMale53 -> Apartment Rental (7/12/2008 6:37:42 PM)

A married businessman meets a beautiful girl and agrees to spend the night with her for $500. He spends the night with her but before he leaves, he tells her that he does not have any cash with him,
But he will have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."

On the way to the office he regrets what he has done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price.
So he has his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following typed note:

Dear Madam :

Enclosed you will find a check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression that;
1) it had never been occupied;
2) that there was plenty of heat; and
3) that it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.
However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large.

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note:

Dear Sir,

First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.
Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it,
Please don't blame the landlady.

Send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady.




HypnoticDan -> RE: Apartment Rental (7/13/2008 2:17:06 AM)

quote:

A married businessman meets a beautiful girl and agrees to spend the night with her for $500.

So... shouldn't she have paid him? That's a damn good business man. I want to learn his sales pitch.




Termyn8or -> RE: Apartment Rental (7/14/2008 7:43:37 AM)

Dan you're fucking worse then I am, and this time you beat me to it !

Reminds me of a scene in an old movie, was it maybe Urban Cowboy ? A gigolo and a hooker do the deed and each of them is sitting there thinking the other was going to pay them. IIRC I wasn't all that crazy about the movie, but that scene was really off the wall.

T




nxxxg -> RE: Apartment Rental (7/14/2008 7:45:46 AM)

lame




AquarianMale53 -> RE: Apartment Rental (7/14/2008 8:11:07 AM)

the proverbial hecklers ...guess there are always a few in the crowd ... shrugs




persephonee -> RE: Apartment Rental (7/14/2008 10:43:47 AM)

hm




HypnoticDan -> RE: Apartment Rental (7/14/2008 5:29:47 PM)

I wonder how that would go over.  "Honey, I have bad news and good news.  The bad news is I slept with another woman.  The good news is that it paid for your day at the spa!"




DaddyChess -> RE: Apartment Rental (7/28/2008 8:22:25 PM)

ROFL.... paid for the spa... and that is $3500 a week, if you're any good... LOL  (I think I'm in the wrong profession.... I should be a giggilo...




Termyn8or -> RE: Apartment Rental (7/29/2008 12:14:53 AM)

I hate to say anything serious over here in humor, and this has been an issue more than once. But the fact is that anyone who pay a half T for a piece of ass is totally lame. I don't fucking care if they own I G Farben, or the federal reserve or what. If you have to pay that much for a piece of ass, there is something wrong.

Fuck, Bill Gates probably doesn't pay that much.

T




Rafters -> RE: Apartment Rental (7/29/2008 2:48:02 AM)

Sorry straight dude, I hate to break it to you, but I actually know someone who does websites for Escorts.
Put bluntly, their token male, doesn't make a fraction of minimium wage off women.
NZ Women will pay for a female escort without blinking, but penises are assumed to be freely available at the local bar. Plus bar penises include complimentary drinks and maybe dinner.
Only guys pay for men, and to make $3500 a week, you either have to have a vogue models body, and/or be willing to take "a mile of penis a day"




AquarianMale53 -> RE: Apartment Rental (7/29/2008 2:53:36 AM)

uhhhhhh, hey guys ... I know it is written a bit wrong, but, I just copied and pasted. It was meant to read more like he agreed to pay her instead of the other way around ... otherwise the joke doesn't work very well. 




Termyn8or -> RE: Apartment Rental (7/29/2008 6:46:17 AM)

Aq, you bring in something like this and don't expect it to be all twisted around ?

See at the top where it says http:// ? after that it says collarchat.. The literal translation of that word is "we are nucking futs". I am surprised we are not in wiki, and really should be included in the premade links in the browser on a new PC with the title "Y'all just won't believe this shit".

Now you've done it, I just had a thought. What if we had a TV commercial ?

T




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