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Padriag -> RE: Motivation and Surrender (11/12/2005 4:55:42 PM)
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In 1998 I wrote an essay regarding the motivations I had observed in slaves to be a slave, to submit. In that essay I identified six main reasons. The essay, coincidentally was entitled "The Slave's Heart." I have seen copies floating around on a few web sites, but at present only one site actually has permission to post it. Below is a relevant portion of the essay. BTW, this is copyrighted material, so please don't repost elsewhere. The essay dealt primarly with female slaves and the Master / slave relationship... but it can be applied to male slaves and to some extent to submissives as well.
To be Found Pleasing... one of the most fundamental traits, all slaves have a strong desire to be found pleasing. This is often more simply stated that they desire to please, which while true, is an incomplete assessment. A slave lacks the ability to validate her own behavior as being pleasing, she needs another to both define what behavior is pleasing and confirm to her that her attempt at such behavior has been successful. When a slave feels she has failed to be pleasing it causes her to question her self worth and feel a great deal of guilt and/or shame. Understanding this makes clear the importance of positive reinforcement in the form of praise when a slave has done well.
To be Used... often sexually, but not always. This is how a slave seeks to please passively, by allowing herself to be used for her Master’s pleasure in whatever way he chooses (i.e. by allowing herself to be made helpless, tormented, used sexually, etc.). This is the most common method of being found pleasing and is often easiest for the slave as she is not required to act, merely accept what is done to/with her. Because her involvement is passive, she mentally does not have to accept any responsibility for what is done to her. That is, if she is bound helpless and something immoral, taboo or “nasty” is done to her, it was done to her and is her Master’s responsibility not hers. Since the slave was a passive participant, she feels no responsibility and thus no guilt for the activity. However, a Master must still be careful in choosing such passive methods of being used which she can handle physically, emotionally and psychologically to obtain good results. The better he is at doing this, the better she will respond to him. If she is pushed beyond what she is able to bear, the risk is that she will either lose faith in her Master or will condemn herself for being unable to comply with her Master’s desires (with a corollary loss of self esteem that can continue over time if the situation is not corrected by the Master).
To Serve... this is the primary means by which a slave actively seeks to please. A slave seeks to serve her Master so that she can be pleasing to him and thus increase her self worth, earn praise and other forms of reward. Serving is active, requiring the slave to take action, initiative and some responsibility, which also requires that she understand what is expected of her and how she should act in order to be found pleasing. The better her Master is at defining ways she can serve him (successfully) the more responsive she will be to him. Because active service requires the slave to take at least some emotional and mental responsibility for her actions, she cannot so easily shift the responsibility / guilt to her Master. The consequence of this is that the more taboo a service is, the more guilt she may potentially feel for it. If a slave is asked to do something she would consider very immoral or taboo, she will have greater difficulty overcoming that and will need the support and encouragement of her Master. This is a potentially dangerous area to venture into if the Master is not aware of the possible repercussions of his demands on his slave. If for example, a slave were required to do something she normally considered very “nasty” and taboo, but at the insistence of her Master performed the service anyway. If that Master then reacted with derision, scorn, disgust or any other negative response the slave will be traumatized and can very easily suffer real psychological and emotional damage. This is why a good Master will always carefully control the situation when exploring new and taboo activities with his slave and will be careful to be very supportive of her attempts to serve, even when she fails (he may correct her and define why she failed, but he will not criticize or condemn her).
To be Useful... which encompasses To Serve and To be Used but goes beyond it... a slave wants and needs to feel useful to her Master. The slave understands that her Master provides her with a place to belong, a purpose, boundaries and guidance; for this she feels a need to give something back in exchange, to earn her keep. She does not want to be a kept princess who is pampered and catered to... just the opposite, she wants to serve his needs and desires, she wants him to be king. Rather than being put on a pedestal, she wants to be the pedestal he stands on. By being useful, she again increases her self worth. There are numerous examples of how a slave may fulfill this desire. The most basic is by doing household chores. By keeping her Master’s house in good order she feels she is doing something useful and practical to help him and to repay him for the life he provides her with. Another method is for the slave to have a job and earn a wage, which she then turns over to her Master, again to feel useful and to feel she has repaid. One trend is that of “money” slaves, who earn their keep by being “rented out” by their Master to others, essentially as prostitutes. This appeals to some because it allows them to be useful while still being a slave, and the taboo behavior is exciting to some.
To Belong... slaves feel a need to belong to someone in a very literal sense. This often takes the form of desiring to be owned as property, though not all are comfortable with this self image. From this they get a sense of place, and of security in knowing they have a place. It is akin to, but much more exaggerated than, the tendency most of us have to want to belong to a group, a club, a tribe, a country, a military, an organization of some kind. It reinforces our sense of identity, even becomes the basis of it. How many people do you know who define who they are by their job... by the company they work for? For slaves its much the same thing, only magnified to a far greater extent. A slave defines herself by belonging, quite literally, to her Master; identifying herself as his slave and property. Thus her own identity, her self image, is based on her status and experience as a slave. This is one reason mental and emotional abuse by a Master, or even just carelessness, can be so damaging to a slave. Coincidentally her Master’s identity as an individual becomes an important part of her identity (ref. Slave Identity). That is, if he is considered a successful person, the slave will feel some pride in belonging to such a person. The more he succeeds in life, the more pride she will feel in being his slave. Understanding this illustrates another reason why a Master needs to be a motivated person who is goal oriented and capable of achieving those goals. If he fails, she feels she belongs to a failure and often has a corresponding loss of respect both for him and herself.
To be Controlled... slaves seek and need this. And it is perhaps the hardest part of their psychology to understand, yet it is generally the first trait they identify about themselves. Usually the first expression of this comes in the form of a desire to be controlled sexually. For a slave this is highly erotic and pleasurable, she discovers she enjoys giving up control of her sexual behavior, allowing herself to be used and controlled sexually by another. As she progresses she discovers this desire extends to other parts of her life and she begins to wish to turn over increasing amounts of control to someone else (her Master). It is important to note that this is not done out of weakness, a slave is not inherently a weak person. She is able to make decisions, take responsibility for herself, assume control in situations where necessary… but she would prefer not to. The result is the same, she gives up control to her Master, expecting him to take control and responsibility for her life. How much control she is able to surrender is directly linked to how much she trusts her Master; the greater the trust, the greater the submission.
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