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kiki blue -> RE: IS BDSM more than sexual to you? (8/6/2004 8:29:12 AM)
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ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD
why would you think it is kiki for you are not a Sadist.
I may not be a sadist (though I'm nurturing a sadistic streak), but that doesn't stop me from talking to sadists, masochists and others who watch. It doesn't stop me from understanding and having an opinion.
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but by your own words you judge what a sadist is good or not, ethical
or not.
I'll judge someone to see if I want to play with them or not, yes. We all do.
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FYI all Sadists practice their kink in giving pain for pleasure in
what ever way it presents its self to the sadist.
Not necessarily. If someone can't control their base urges, then they're not mature and they're not someone I wish to socialise with. I also wouldn't play with someone who felt it ok to take out their sadistic urges in abusive ways.
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Its only the Sadist whom has a line that They will not cross that is any where near ethical as you put it.
No, I have a line that I will not cross. If I believe an activity is unethical for me, then I won't be party to it.
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Those whom have no lines that they will not cross are unethical to Me period. How else will a Sadist keep half their sanity to function in society?
Again, if someone can't control their urges, then they have a lot of growing up to do. A good dominant, in my book, knows that just because the can do something, doesn't mean they should.
If a sadist is doubting their sanity, then they should seek medical and professional help, and not be playing. JMO and all.
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your beginning words were misleading and that is why I have gone in detail about what I am towards others so that those whom are not S/M can understand that it is not allright to just play with anyone at any time.
I didn't say it was ok to play with "just anyone anytime". I didn't say that it wasn't ok to do that. I said that I don't like pain but will still play with sadists.
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Of course you changed
your words and better defined what it is you do
I clarified my point, which you had trouble grasping (and still do). I didn't change what I was saying.
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however My stance on
My actions for a sample are really the norm for Sadists across the board
Killing animals for a sadistic thrill is normal? Thank god I don't socialise where you do.
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and if My actions make you uneasy then My points have been made.
Your actions make me uneasy because I do not find animal cruelty to be a turn on, an interest, or something people should do.
You can play with anyone you like - that's none of my business.
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And
I will still state that it is one thing for a non S/M person to dabble in pain for pleasure experiance however a Sadist whom does such and does not practice their Sadisum with a masocist but goes about doing such with those whom are NOT into pain even tho one gives their permission is wrong in My eyes and not only that but tempts to guide a Sadist to seak for more of the same which could eventually lead to it becomming unconcensual.
A sadist is someone who delights in the suffering of others, inflicting pain, torture, etc. A masochist is someone who enjoys those sorts of things. If the sadist is giving the masochist the pain they want, then the sadist isn't being sadistic - they're topping. If the masochist isn't given the pain they want, then the sadist is being sadistic.
You can think it's wrong all you want, Dread, but it is not unethical for me to play with my sadistic friends, who get to fully delight in the pain they inflict, because they know I hate it. I do it for the experience, I do it because it feeds my desire to be controlled, I do it because the experience as a whole is fun. I consent to what they do, and they know I can pull the plug at any time, and they would stop if I asked. Nothing in that implies unethical behaviour.
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Its a daily chore for Me as a Sadist to not be tempted into doing things that I know will lead Me down a path to sumthing I should not be doing but even more so if there are those whom think it OK to tempt Me to such a ruse are usually the ones whom might just send the Sadist over board into places none would want them to go.
Control is something we should all learn, growing up. I believe you need to be able to control yourself before you can allow another to control you, or before another allows you to control them.
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You are dabbling with danger to Me kiki and telling others that this is OK.
I'm an adult. I'm intelligent, have and use common sense. I can communicate and negotiate with the people I play with. They know me well. I very rarely play with strangers. How is advocating playing with people you know well and trust dangerous?
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Yes we are all about concensual. yes We are all about having fun in play. But there are other factors here that are not being fully addressed and they are what could lead to that one bad scene that one bad experiance that sumone has that they do not recover from.
We have to expect that we will have a bad scene one day. Things go wrong from time to time. That's life. Nothing is perfect, and mistakes happen. How you deal with it is more imporant, at times, than what happened.
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Its easy to say you want to experiance all things and being one whom serves desire to give everyone what they desire but there are sum things that should not be given for obvious reasons and I guess I have just been on the extream end way more years then most and have seen bad results from those whom took sadists simply not knowing all the facts and to think that all Sadists have complete control over their selfs at all times is foolish and can be dangerous.
Yes, it can be foolish to assume that someone has full control of themself, just because they ID as a sadist.
I am not a fool. I have my head squarely attached to my shoulders. I advocate the use of common sense - something a lot of people seem to leave behind once they gain chronological maturity (if they ever had it). I trust the people I play with. I communicate with them. The people I play with know where the line is and don't cross it. I don't give them "everything" and they don't give me "everything".
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Im sorry that you do not like to hear nor accept that which coomes from the life of a Sadist
Your outlook just appears to be very narrowminded, to me. You're calling my behaviour unethical, when I do everything to ensure that it is ethical.
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but these are realities and life lived and you can judge My actions because I hide nothing so that others out here can understand the mindset of just one Sadist but do not think Me not of the norm for one, for I am quite common except that I do not hide what I do nor tempt to show only My good side to others.
Your outlook may be the 'norm" for your social circle, but it certainly isn't in mine. Different strokes, I guess.
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