My Reputation

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PriapicBratt -> My Reputation (11/12/2005 1:29:24 PM)
I am extremely disturbed about some emails I have gotten today. (I did also post this in As A Mistress) I have recieved some emails today that are informing me that I am unworthy, not real and do not keep my word. The senders have all blocked me which is why I have come here. I am new here but have made some good freinds already...some of which are Doms. Apparently A Dom is spreading this info about me. I have tried to figure out why ...the only thing I can think of is that I did make a date to met a Dom from VA. and I contacted him and canceled. I was under the impression that he understood why and that he agreed with me about my reasons. This is the only person on collarme that I have arranged a meeting with. If this is the example of not keeping my word then yes I broke it. This particular Dom has a very strong personality and as I told him I was scared I was rushing into something and felt I needed to slow down. He told me he understood and wished me luck. I ask those that are blocking me and emailing me to at least let me defend myself to them. I am a good woman who is kind, truthful and very mindful of not hurting anyone. This has hurt me immensely and I have no idea what to do about it???

krikket -> RE: My Reputation (11/12/2005 1:46:00 PM)
Unfortunately there probably isn't much you can "do" about it, except do things the way you know are right, and let your actions speak for themselves. Unfortunately there will always be people who seem to get off creating hate and discontent for others. i guess it gives them a feeling of control, of power. While i'm a firm believer in the old saying.."what goes around, comes around".. it usually takes longer than i like it to..lol. i have a feeling this guy has done this type of thing before, and if so, he'll be found out eventually. i know it's difficult not to feel hurt but that's where he perhaps gets his jollies from. i've been accused of the same thing, of being less a sub, or not one at all, because i don't want to be rushed. i've kind of taught myself to laugh -- at them and the situation -- rather than beat myself up for not "giving in". Imho, submission isn't about giving into someone, but giving of myself to someone... hope this helps.. cheers, jimini PS...welcome to the forums :)

KnightofMists -> RE: My Reputation (11/12/2005 1:53:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PriapicBratt I am extremely disturbed about some emails I have gotten today. (I did also post this in As A Mistress) I have recieved some emails today that are informing me that I am unworthy, not real and do not keep my word. The senders have all blocked me which is why I have come here. I am new here but have made some good freinds already...some of which are Doms. Apparently A Dom is spreading this info about me. I have tried to figure out why ...the only thing I can think of is that I did make a date to met a Dom from VA. and I contacted him and canceled. I was under the impression that he understood why and that he agreed with me about my reasons. This is the only person on collarme that I have arranged a meeting with. If this is the example of not keeping my word then yes I broke it. This particular Dom has a very strong personality and as I told him I was scared I was rushing into something and felt I needed to slow down. He told me he understood and wished me luck. I ask those that are blocking me and emailing me to at least let me defend myself to them. I am a good woman who is kind, truthful and very mindful of not hurting anyone. This has hurt me immensely and I have no idea what to do about it??? First... the only person's opinion of your reputation that matters is you and those you choose to be important. Second... it doesn't matter if this Dom is a strong personality or not... if you content with your choice... then you have nothing to be sorry about and can look at yourself with pride and pity on those that are close-minded and unaccepting of your choice to be true to your needs and desires. Thirdly... what to do about.... stop making this person of little importance to your life anymore than he is. Consider the opinion of those that really matter to you.... look how you devalue their strong-positive opinion of yourself as you allow one of little importance affect you as such. His opinion doesn't matter... LISTEN to the ones that matter! YOURS and your FRIENDS!

KatyLied -> RE: My Reputation (11/12/2005 1:57:44 PM)
I was hit last week, with someone trying to stir up some trouble. It makes you wonder -- Are they jealous? Do you have something they want? Do they just need to make life difficult for you? Who knows. I believe that what goes around comes around and they will get theirs hopefully sooner rather than later. edited for krikket - I just read your words, the same ones I used. Next time I should read the entire thread before responding, then I could just quote you.

PriapicBratt -> RE: My Reputation (11/12/2005 2:00:35 PM)
Thank you so very much everyone. Your right I have given him power and made him too important by being upset. I want to thank the Subs that emailed me also. I was a bit stunned to learn this Dom has done this before. They each sent me his name...and I had not used it in my writings. I feel very sorry for him as I still considered him someone I enjoyed talking to.

Cloudz -> RE: My Reputation (11/12/2005 2:03:16 PM)
YOUR integrity is just that - yours. Life is full of people who want more or different things from you than you are comfortable giving. As hard as this suggestion will be to follow, try to let it go. It is not uncommon for people to go up in flames when they do not get what they want. Unfortunately this lifestyle is the opportunity for a lot of wannabe's to try on their Dom shoes. Personally, it sounds to me like your instincts were excellent. Be safe.

Padriag -> RE: My Reputation (11/12/2005 2:04:00 PM)
I don't know anything about you or who you are... nor have I heard any rumors, for whatever that may be worth to you. Personally, I would not think much of anyone who would email someone and then block them. If someone came to me with information about someone, I'd want to assess that for myself. For all you know these "doms" may in fact be the same person using multiple accounts. My suggestion is that you ignore it for the most part and not let it bother you. Be active in the forums and let your own actions speak for themselves. As for these "doms", if their emails violate the TOS, report it. My experience with CM has been that if someone violates the TOS they take it serious and will take action where it is warranted. You could ask them to check into the accounts and see if it is the same person (they can do that I believe). I'm not sure if multiple emails through multiple accounts would constitute harassment under the TOS and be actionable, but you can contact the administrators of the site and ask. Otherwise, block them right back and go find happier things to do with your time.

theRose4U -> RE: My Reputation (11/12/2005 2:15:54 PM)
quote: i've been accused of the same thing, of being less a sub, or not one at all, because i don't want to be rushed. [:D][:D]Oh come on you mean at the Domly Dom drive through we can't get a sub with fries and a shake anymore GRRRRR

wipmebeetme100 -> RE: My Reputation (11/12/2005 2:41:58 PM)
quote: Unfortunately there will always be people who seem to get off creating hate and discontent for others. i guess it gives them a feeling of control, of power. That is so true. There are folks who are not happy unless they are making life miserable for someone else. Misery loves company. I think a lot of times they do things like this because they know they are going to get a reaction. I try not to give them that reaction. Ignore them and ignore their actions....maybe, just maybe they will go away. peace, cathy

michaelMI -> RE: My Reputation (11/12/2005 2:49:42 PM)
never let someone else ruin who you are or what you believe in. keep your head up and move on. i have had a recent event myself but i am letting it go and not going to drudge up old things as it makes me less than i know i am. just because we are subs, does not mean we should not have some sense of dignity and sel-respect. if it wasn't meant to be...yadda, yadda yadda... [:D] <the brat has spoken>LOL

LordODiscipline -> RE: My Reputation (11/12/2005 3:06:01 PM)
Look - Just block the idiots who block you... They are not important or influential unless you allow them to be. If you are a good person, the people who matter know that.. and, the ones that do not - do not matter. ~J

ginawithaB -> RE: My Reputation (11/12/2005 3:47:20 PM)
Another thing you could do is report anyone who harrasses you in any way or if you have a good idea of who is "scandalizing" your name - since it is supposed to be against collarme policy to defame anyone's character. Most important is to simply be true to who you are and ignore all idiots you encounter, what's the expression? "Ilegitimi non carobundum" (forgive me, I can't remember the exact spelling) Anyway, loosely translated: "Don't let the bastards get you down." (Can anyone help out with the correct spelling?) Take it easy, gina

LordODiscipline -> RE: My Reputation (11/12/2005 3:55:56 PM)
"Illegitimus Tatum Non Carborundum" ~J

PriapicBratt -> RE: My Reputation (11/12/2005 8:19:21 PM)
I just want to thank everyone for their kind words and words of wisdom. I did find out that this Dom has done this quite a few times to new subs and also that the "Doms" emailing me were all his accounts. I do hope that by posting this maybe the next new subs won't have to go thru this and instead will realize what a wonderful site and wonderful people there are on here. Thank you..

FangsNfeet -> RE: My Reputation (11/12/2005 9:26:08 PM)
Someone can like you or someone can hate your. Either way, there thoughts don't don't pay your bills.

Kasia -> RE: My Reputation (11/12/2005 10:29:43 PM)
I was too accused just today of not being real - based on the fact I do not want to meet someone from Hawaii if he choses to take holidays in Europe. I can only say LOL. Wrote him back "if you are assuming that I am not real then you are certainly not submissive enough to be taken in consideration". I love that stuff. [:D] Oh....... forgot to block him...... brb

denizen -> RE: My Reputation (11/13/2005 5:29:08 AM)
I thought it might be worthwhile to add that i seem to have had a similar experience with the very same man here, except that I did meet and play with him...No actual harm was done but there were some scary, hurtful moments along the way....I found that silence, in response to this individual, has been the very best defense....likewise he was my first contact here on collarme, luckily for me , not the last....let me also say that i do think some hurt feelings along the way are worth it for me, long as no actual harm is done, to be able to participate in this lifestyle...i did learn few additional safety items were needed for me, and my experience with this man did help point that out...i am grateful to have found someone else, someone remarkable and caring and strong, who is helping me explore who i really am.......

candystripper -> RE: My Reputation (11/13/2005 5:53:09 AM)
It sounds as if you have already been in contact with the site regarding this matter...very good. They will deal with Him...you need not think of Him again unless the site needs something from you. Bear in mind this is not only a BDSM site but also a 'net site. All sorts of people -- with all sorts of motives -- open accounts here. i too once cancelled a meeting with a Man and found myself under seige from Him. All this shows you is He lacks self-control; is a liar; is probably a fake Dom/Master; probably presented some danger to you, had you gone forward and met Him; your instincts should always be respected. My best to you. candystripper

KatyLied -> RE: My Reputation (11/13/2005 6:04:43 AM)
It is funny (I guess), how some can seem so assured, confident, seemingly successful in their life, overall presenting so well. And then the minute they don't get what they want (you refuse to meet, you don't submit on-line to their exacting specifications), it becomes a flurry of nasty emails followed by blocking the recipient. edited to change "sender" to "recipient"

OscarHargraves -> RE: My Reputation (11/13/2005 7:11:09 AM)
You are the only important one here. Do what's right for YOU and don't worry about them. The truth will come out and they will get what they deserve. Small people with small minds usually do.

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