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Maxwell67 -> RE: sexualizing a submissive? (7/15/2008 1:34:22 AM)
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Why is it that at the end of the night some subs can only feel as if they are truly valued if they get 'action.' Does sexual attraction really have to matter? A dominant cannot just care about their sub? Love them but not have sexual attraction?
Look, I am an American male, raised in front of the television set.. what kind of perception of what is attractive do you think I have? I am not completely bound to or limited by that, however there are some people whom no matter how breathtaking the eyes are lovely the face and no matter how incredible they are on the inside, they are just not going to do it for me sexually, unless I am using emotional memory techniques (i.e. acting) but in addition to the fact that does not always work, it's just wrong.
Sorry all you lovers who have faked orgasms to spare someone elses feelings or just to get them to stop...If your partner cannot handle it that the earth did not move this time.. or any time even? Do you think you are protecting them by hiding it and making them think they are great? If this is an LTR don't you think that one day s/he will find out? Won't they feel betrayed? Won't they feel like they wasted your time expecting to fulfill a need in you that was not filled or in some cases was not even there? If you care about this person is that how you want them to feel? (ok, for those of you who answered 'yes' to this question, I suppose that is your thing, fine, but it is not MY thing)
But remove my sexual release from the equation, and if the other qualities that I found attractive are ...well.. attractive enough, then I have to say it might still be worthwhile, depending of course on what the limits are. I can get a lot more out of domination than sexual gratification. So perhaps it is wrong to love torture for it's own sake and not just as a kink, but I can't give you an excuse, that is just how I am. It does not mean I would not find my victim special, or that I couldn't care for and appreciate say, a service slave for a multitude of non-sexual reasons. It does not mean I would not respect their boundaries, or keep their best interests at heart. If you do not mind never getting introduced to my little soldier.. or never getting to touch it anyway, and we can develop a bond despite that, I doubt I would even care what gender you are, or what your gender preferences are, I could probably enjoy it anyway.
It is conceivable that over time some kind of sexual attraction might come out of it (hell, I suppose it's possible the rush of power alone could do the trick), but I could not make promises. I am not sure I need to. There is something great about complete transparent honesty and trust in a relationship. And if there is no pretense, no pity, and no expectations to be thwarted, then it might be enough. Building a relationship that way probably requires a very long screening process, but it still sounds like something worth trying.
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