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RE: How soon is "rushed"? - 11/13/2005 4:01:38 PM   
justjenn


Posts: 9
Joined: 10/30/2005
Status: offline 		"rushed" depends on the circumstances, too. If you meet someone at a private party and they're introduced by someone you know well and trust implicitly as "someone you might get on well with", the timeline could comfortably be quicker than with someone you met anonymously through email or a message board, with no real-time ties!

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How soon is "rushed"? - 11/14/2005 3:50:35 AM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		when i read your topic, this is what came to mind.
We could meet someone in the street, at the mall, at the library, at the etc etc etc....we wouldnt think twice about it, if they seemed friendly to go have a coffee with them that very same day. However, i dont think most people upon meeting someone in the street, mall, library would be allowing them to beat them, or tie them up or even fuck them after a couple of briefs chats. (i may be naive here)
So, basically what im saying is....i dont see anything rushed about going to meet someone for a coffee after a few internet chats. i dont see the harm in that at all. If the meeting was for anything more than that...well i think that would be dumb actually.

(in reply to kimmypuss)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: How soon is "rushed"? - 11/14/2005 6:24:32 AM   
kimmypuss


Posts: 47
Joined: 9/21/2005
Status: offline 		The part that wasn't casual was the 5-hour trip involved just to have that coffee...
lol

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: How soon is "rushed"? - 11/14/2005 6:31:40 AM   
Kyami


Posts: 32
Joined: 11/14/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		It generally depends on the individuals involved, what they both want, and how quickly they want it. If you feel comfortable with someone after only a few mailings, and have weighed the risks involved, then there is nothing "rushed" about it. As long as you are comfortable with it.

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RE: How soon is "rushed"? - 11/23/2005 8:45:20 AM   
MastersBabieGirl


Posts: 63
Joined: 11/17/2005
From: courtice ontario
Status: offline 		rushing is never good for anything you miss important steps doing it
taking your time and making things right is the way to go imo


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owned and obeying my Master at all times

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RE: How soon is "rushed"? - 11/23/2005 8:49:45 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		How many im chats = 1 (almost) date? How many phone calls = 1 (almost) date? Or perhaps only a *real* in person date = 1 date

It depends on the people, the connection. Most will respect what you need to do as far as your timeline for feeling comfortable before you meet for the first time.

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RE: How soon is "rushed"? - 11/23/2005 8:54:20 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

How many im chats = 1 (almost) date? How many phone calls = 1 (almost) date? Or perhaps only a *real* in person date = 1 date

One bored day I actually worked it out. (This is purely my own workings and shouldn't be taken as gospel).

1 weekend convention = 6 months regular real time exposure

1 kinky vacation weekend = 4 months of online cybering

1 phone call = 1 week of IMs

4 weeks living together = 5 years of online chatting

1 month of regular offline dating = 6 months of online dating

1 year of long distance relationship = 3 months of regular offline dating

The "equal" refers to the "quality of intimate time together."


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RE: How soon is "rushed"? - 11/23/2005 12:08:18 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		isn't being rushed up to each person's ideals?

don't we all have our own thoughts?


seems in my mind we do.

what "I" call rushed maybe is not someone else's.
maybe what i call waiting too damn long is someone else's too soon.


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(in reply to kimmypuss)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How soon is "rushed"? - 11/23/2005 4:50:34 PM   
Simian


Posts: 30
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline
Dear WalterRego,
That was a beautiful story! I had tears of admiration for her as well.
To date and get to know is the most precious thing. Respecting of the others body and the trust factor, not just the rush to have ones physical needs met.
Thankyou for your dating story.
Sincerely
simian.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How soon is "rushed"? - 11/23/2005 5:44:40 PM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		I like LA's conversion chart and I WILL take it gospel. You can't stop me!

I understand the five hour distance makes a casual coffee meeting fairly impractical. However, if it were me and I was felt there was potential, I would figure out a way to meed in the middle for a lunch or dinner or whatever. I like to meet people IRL as soon as possible because for me it often prevents wasting time. I pretty much never feel threatened or pressure by a simple lunch date so there is no feeling of "rushed."

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How soon is "rushed"? - 11/23/2005 8:24:12 PM   
nenakajira


Posts: 221
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		I did that whole online dating thing for a while. One or two e-mails and then usually we'd meet in a public location for coffee and face to face chat. I've also done the blind dating thing on rare occasions. I've never really worried about meeting someone local at a dennys.

To spend a weekend with a Master, however, is a different cup of tea. I prefer to know them very very well before I jump onto that bandwagon. And if they're not local then if they'd like to meet then can fly up.. get a hotel nearby.. and the meeting in public rule still stands unless I know them well.

I'm careful, I suppose, but not overly paranoid. I've met some wonderful men and some real toads over the years (And one guy who swore he was a vampire and tried to bite me.. gah)

-nena{R}

(in reply to kimmypuss)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How soon is "rushed"? - 11/25/2005 3:18:46 PM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		Edited:
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cloudz
Rush, what is the reason to rush? Few of us do our best thinking when we are rushed. You may even rush to judgement, only to find that your thoughts were in error.

Rush to meet a potenital sub? Not my style. The delicious build up and unexpected humor and delight as you get to know someone a bit, that is my choice. I need to get to know a bit about your personality, your goals, and your interests before I choose to meet. Some will call that too drawn out, too time comsuming. I do not consider an investment of time in a potential sub too much of an effort...but these are my thoughts only, and to each his own.

i tend to agree with this. how long of a period of time varies, but if one feels rushed, then why should that be? one can get to know a bit of a person by taking time. this does not guarantee anything, but it does allow time for nuances that one might not pick up on to be noticed and built upon. at the same time, however, it should not be just about the "chase." it should be genuine and honest. to be otherwise...well, i needn't go into that here.

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maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
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RE: How soon is "rushed"? - 11/27/2005 7:37:14 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		You have some very sound advice here, the main thing to remember is indeed if it is worth it, it will be there--tomorrow--I too often find from subs, that thay want to dictate--" I don't want cyber, I want real, so here is my phone number, lets talk live"--I am just not there--I have a life to protect and it amazes Me that they don't care about theirs-- I could after all be an abuser just as well---IM chatting, emails, sharing thoughts and ideas on virtual paper is not cyber, it is indeed a good way to start---this is not vanilla real time, so more caution must be used and expected----and the good ones WILL---by My rules, you are lucky if you get a live call within 4-6 weeks--I'm looking for an LTR so My rules are stiffer ( ok no pun intended) but it does weed out the wheat from the chaffe (sp?)---and remember, until you commit to a Master/Mistress you are under NO obligation to take any steps until you are ready--good luck and trust the gut--

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SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


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RE: How soon is "rushed"? - 11/27/2005 8:40:31 AM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kimmypuss
Say you've said hello to someone online through this site and are starting a dialogue and within 2 conversations they (who live hours away from you) are saying: "Come see me next Thursday" - which would be about 5 days from the time you first said hello.

Too rushed for me, I declined to meet and have a "session" with someone I don't even know yet.
What say you?



For me five days would not be to rushed to meet just for coffee.

I think we all have our own internal barometers on things like this though.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

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The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How soon is "rushed"? - 12/17/2005 1:58:09 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		i understand that person reason for wanting to meet fast but it is the excitement of it al but i think we wshould hold back and wait for the right time but talking on the phone is great i was rushed once i think it no good i must feel a trust within me for me to jump into dinnfer or a moive but i think the first meeting is at a coffee shop and then then talk more no other meeting at his home or any place like that, i am a dominant woman but i am still a woman i am stronger in the mind but as for strenght in the body hell no i am not stronger i learn this in forth grade i teae boy and told him to meet me at the hill and i was taller at the time and i thought i was going to beat his back side one punch ended that fast i had a black eye and well lol i learn but this for info that is all but i want to hear what others have to say too

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How soon is "rushed"? - 12/17/2005 4:57:13 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:


For me five days would not be to rushed to meet just for coffee.



I'm going to have to agree with that.

I believe in meeting fairly quickly with someone and NOT drawing things out eternally online, which I find to be a waste of time. I don't believe in rushing "into" play or a relationship, but frankly you get to know alot more about a person sitting down over lunch or coffee with them than you do endlessly IMing.

Granted, in order for me to meet someone in say a week, there would have had to be at least a few good emails exchanged and that person would have had to perk my interest. But if they have? Sure, I'll meet in a neutral public place for a java and a chat.

I expect to meet within a month of first contact online if I am going to meet them at all. Longer than that is "too long" for me to continue talking online to someone.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

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Profile   Post #: 36
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