RE: Punishment by adding new slave

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beatdownslave56 -> RE: Punishment by adding new slave (7/14/2008 6:10:36 PM)
you are right lucky, i dont know what is healthy and what is not this is my first venture into this lifestyle however i am not his first slave. we spoke today and he says that i need to come up with a really good punishment for questioning him about a lie i caught him in...i like pain so a beating isnt a good deterrent for me, any suggestions? i am thinking for me the worst fear is the addition of another slave but i think telling my master to enjoy another fuck toy at least for one night with me having to watch would be the best punishment that i could receive as a deterrent. any advice on that. he has a hold over me i can't let go of.

Briena -> RE: Punishment by adding new slave (7/14/2008 6:16:41 PM)
You shouldnt be punished for a lie that he said that you caught him in. He shouldnt be lying to you in the first place. If you caught him in a lie, that makes him a liar, not your fault hes a liar. He has no right to lie to you in any type of relationship, vanilla or kink. Him punishing you over his lies makes it like he can lie to you about anything and get away with it and you have to just deal. NOT OK! I would tell him to punish himself, but thats just me. You need to draw the line somewhere. Youre still a human being and you deserve respect, even as a sub/slave. Lying is not respectful to the partner at all. It sounds to me like he is just angry because he got busted and his lie blew up in his face. I say screw him. Like I said, thats just me though.

PanthersMom -> RE: Punishment by adding new slave (7/14/2008 6:17:46 PM)
you caught him in a lie and he's going to punish you? and you're going to let him? i'm beginning to think you like to be treated like a doormat. why on earth would you put up with that crap? i started out as a submissive and my dominant was a jackass like this. he wasn't my dominant long. submissive doesn't mean doormat or target for abuse. and he obviously has no clue what being a dominant is really all about. PM

DarkSteven -> RE: Punishment by adding new slave (7/14/2008 6:19:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: beatdownslave56 he says that i need to come up with a really good punishment for questioning him about a lie i caught him in...i like pain so a beating isnt a good deterrent for me, any suggestions? Yeah. If he lies, leave. If he suggests it's yout fault for catching him, leave. If he takes on another slave knowing how you feel about it, leave.

Lockit -> RE: Punishment by adding new slave (7/14/2008 6:37:32 PM)
You have been ready to commit suicide... you let him make you afraid... and use you for pictures and abuse you. He has something you just can't let go of. Honey, you need to talk to a mental health professional, not us. Please call someone and get an appointment and if you can't get in, call hotlines. You are really not in a safe place. The way you are talking, you are not only in danger from him, but from yourself. You need to build yourself and find out why you would allow someone to do this and still need him. Good luck to you...

batshalom -> RE: Punishment by adding new slave (7/14/2008 6:56:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: beatdownslave56 he says that i need to come up with a really good punishment for questioning him about a lie i caught him in...i like pain so a beating isnt a good deterrent for me, any suggestions? Unbelievable. quote: ORIGINAL: beatdownslave56 he has a hold over me i can't let go of. It seems as though you enjoy the attention that being a victim brings you. Until you realize how utterly unhealthy that is, and until you get a clue in to your own destructive behaviors, you will be doomed to repeat all of this, every time. Good luck with it all.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Punishment by adding new slave (7/14/2008 7:39:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: beatdownslave56 you are right lucky, i dont know what is healthy and what is not this is my first venture into this lifestyle however i am not his first slave. we spoke today and he says that i need to come up with a really good punishment for questioning him about a lie i caught him in...i like pain so a beating isnt a good deterrent for me, any suggestions? i am thinking for me the worst fear is the addition of another slave but i think telling my master to enjoy another fuck toy at least for one night with me having to watch would be the best punishment that i could receive as a deterrent. any advice on that. he has a hold over me i can't let go of. So you're an emotional maso as well as physical? Perhaps this is not a good time for you to be in this type of relationship. But if you do decide to stay in it, you will have no right later complaining to friends and family about him using and abusing you. You are doing it to yourself.

Briena -> RE: Punishment by adding new slave (7/14/2008 7:48:21 PM)
Are you really serious with this whole thing? I mean the punishment for his lies and what not? I am just really having a hard time believing all of this... You would really subject yourself to that kind of abuse without question? You would allow this man to do whatever whenever he wants to you even though its bad for you and is harming you? I just cant wrap my head around it... Either youre an attention whore doing this whole post for the attention you are getting from the peoples responses, or you really do need to seek professional help. I dont think this forum can actually help you if this is really what is going on. I mean the way youre acting its like if this guy told you to shoot yourself in the face you would ask him what gun to use! Its insaine! You need to just stop. Hes no good, what youre doing is no good. I really hope that youre just an attention whore, and I mean that in a positive way, because if youre the later of the two you have a long hard road ahead of you... If he doesnt kill you first, or make you kill yourself. I can say I dont pitty you though, you have the option right now of just ending the whole thing and stopping it, but instead you are choosing to think of punishments for his lies... Sensless thing to do. I dunno...

Missokyst -> RE: Punishment by adding new slave (7/14/2008 7:49:30 PM)
You deserve what you get. You accept a jackass and his behavior because you cant let go. Wallow in it. Clearly you are getting some sort of payoff in this relationship, I hope it is satisfying for you for years to come. Kyst quote: ORIGINAL: beatdownslave56 he says that i need to come up with a really good punishment for questioning him about a lie i caught him in he has a hold over me i can't let go of.

Leatherist -> RE: Punishment by adding new slave (7/14/2008 8:12:03 PM)
Your punishment should be to be forced to watch as he reduces his testicles to a thin paste with a ball peen hammer.

LotusSong -> RE: Punishment by adding new slave (7/14/2008 8:19:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: beatdownslave56 i so appreciate the advice from everyone...i think this is what i have been telling myself all along...i think i have been screwing up hoping he will tire of me and just get rid of me...i am afraid he will travel to maryland and do something to me if i try to leave so i am doing all i can to get him to throw me away Two words: Restraining Order

GrizzlyBear -> RE: Punishment by adding new slave (7/14/2008 8:35:17 PM)
This thread strikes me as a troll for sympathy - quite a situation for a gay woman who joined today to find herself in. If any of this is real - either get a backbone, tell him to where to stick it and get out, or stretch out your neck for the emotional ax, cause that's what is coming

OsideGirl -> RE: Punishment by adding new slave (7/14/2008 8:48:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: beatdownslave56 he says that i need to come up with a really good punishment for questioning him about a lie i caught him in...i like pain so a beating isnt a good deterrent for me, any suggestions? You're kidding, right? Why are you even asking this? HE LIED! If something deserves to be punished it's him! So, my suggestion for punishing yourself woud be to sweetly tell him that you don't deserve him and that you're returning his collar. Then I'd change my phone number, change my email, change my locks and get a restraining order.

beatdownslave56 -> RE: Punishment by adding new slave (7/14/2008 9:03:49 PM)
Thanks everyone. i made the phone call tonight after work and have released myself from him. no restraining order, no regret. not an attention whore sometime one just needs others from the outside looking in to get the courage to go and since this is my first master/slave relatioship, i thought my master would do what is right to make me a better person. that is not the case...i appreciate all the posts.

sabirah -> RE: Punishment by adding new slave (7/14/2008 9:47:46 PM)
Greetings beatdownslave56 Below I have place a very key statement that you said in red, If your Master knows of your prior attempt at suicide, for Him to cut off communication and not take your concerns into the big picture, He does not have your best interest at heart. You have a choice to leave or stay, to stay in an unhealthy, relationship can be detrimental to your well being. Life is worth living, please open your eyes, and try to find the strength to do what is best for yourself. In order to be the best slave that you can be, You need to have a great Master who will take the time and listen to you, You are a human being first, a slave second. best of luck, my heart goes out to you. quote: ORIGINAL: beatdownslave56 Need Advice... my master and i have been in a LDR master/slave relationship for a little over a year...i have not made the greatest choices in the past, being separated from my master kills me and i tend not to make the most rational choices so we are now to a point where he has given me 30 days to "step up" and prove to him that i am worthy to be the only slave in his life or he is going to add a new slave. i have asked repeatedly what he means by stepping up and what examples of that will be so i can be successful, he has yet to respond to me or provide examples...he also has cut communication with me other than to give me permission to go places and take certain types of photos to send to him and then the response is either yes or no...nothing more... this for me, is the worst alternative i can ever imagine. he views it as help for me and a someone to meet his needs, which he has not communicated what needs of his that are currently today not being met by me. i have huge demons with being cheated on in 2 vanilla relationships...i have expressed my concerns that this option will not make me a better slave but have all the past demons surface and in the end would push me over the edge...i already have felt like enough of a failure to him that i have attempted suicide... help me be a better slave, any advice on what stepping up means to anyone?

Kaelloric -> RE: Punishment by adding new slave (7/14/2008 9:54:58 PM)
Good girl. Now go find a friend to be with for the night, and to help you look up some professionals to call in the morning. Breaking from something like that is traumatic, even if it was "just online". Perhaps your friend will know someone or has seen someone they have grown to trust in the past. Give yourself 4 or six months or more before you start looking in earnest again. It will take some time to wipe the fog from your brain and to build your self esteem back up.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Punishment by adding new slave (7/14/2008 9:58:28 PM)
Don't forget that there are MANY out there who would appreciate, acknowledge and admire a good sub/slave. You truly do not have to settle for any less than what you want. It may take time, and you DO have to stand up for yourself, (sometimes especially with those who would dom you), but it is worth it. Truly.

PanthersMom -> RE: Punishment by adding new slave (7/14/2008 10:00:26 PM)
congrats. now stick to your guns and get yourself healthy and in the right frame of mind before you go looking for anyone again, in the scene or vanilla. best of luck. PM

corsetgirl -> RE: Punishment by adding new slave (7/14/2008 10:24:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: beatdownslave56 Thanks everyone. i made the phone call tonight after work and have released myself from him. no restraining order, no regret. not an attention whore sometime one just needs others from the outside looking in to get the courage to go and since this is my first master/slave relatioship, i thought my master would do what is right to make me a better person. that is not the case...i appreciate all the posts. You did the right thing. I think a sub or a slave needs guidance, not being broken down. I have been there in a marriage where I was once in your situation. Fortunately for me, after my ex-husband was charged with aggravated assault against me, I went to the courthouse and filed a restraining order against him. I never looked back and I felt like a black cloud was lifted from me. Nobody needs an abusive relationship and if the relationship is not healthy, you leave. Please follow the previous advice of others. Give yourself time to be cautious should you find another dom who will be there to communicate, be honest with you and guide you into pleasing him. I wish you well.

WashGuy -> RE: Punishment by adding new slave (7/15/2008 4:53:12 AM)
Jumping on the bandwagon here, YOU MADE THE RIGHT MOVE. Now comes the hard part. Do NOT look back. Do not feel tempted to give him a second chance. He's not a Master, or Dominant or anything like that. He's an abusive asshole and if he's like most he'll use all sorts of pressure on you. And quite honestly, if he does show up at your door, make it clear to him he is trespassing, ask him politely to leave and if he doesn't, call the police. If you need to give back items (or get items from him) do it in a public place and bring a friend. Ending a relationship is rarely easy. Ending one with an abusive asshole can be even harder. Be strong.

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