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Subs only Weight Watchers? - 7/14/2008 7:44:25 AM   
CasaDeLaWookie


Posts: 9
Joined: 4/2/2006
Status: offline 		Something the wife and I (we are a Dom/Domme household) were discussing last night is we have noticed many of the subs in our local community here in Austin, TX seem to be seeking help with controlling their weight.  There seems to be a problem tho that many seem to be only finding doms which are using this either as a predatory technique or say they will do it only to end up only using them for their own selfish desires and don't really provide the structure or support the sub wants (or needs) to get their weight under control.  We wondered, would there be any value is establishing a sort of WeightWatchers type group, but for submissives only.  The idea being that the subbies could still have access to the support group, but not need to worry about either their submissiveness getting out and that one could discuss the complications of weight control as it pertains to your lifestyle, or have to fear having a dom prey on you... or say they will help with the weight control only to in turn us it against the sub and to control them.

Would a subs only Weight Watchers type chapter be helpful?

If so, would you rather have it led by a fellow sub, or by a Dom or Domme?

...or is this just a completely screwy idea that needs to be forgotten?
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RE: Subs only Weight Watchers? - 7/14/2008 7:55:51 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Unless you have medical or nutrition training or had support that had such knowledge, I would not recommend it.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Subs only Weight Watchers? - 7/14/2008 8:00:37 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		and so herd them altogether for the predators to find helpfully in one place?

They will have all the "Domme" they need in the woman who runs weight watchers .. or whatever you have in your area. If they can't stick at it there ... they wont stick at it anywhere.The women that run those groups .. make Hitler look soft, they make Stalin look like a nancy. Those women have a professional responsibility, and a financial incentive to keep you attending, and you will only do that while you continue to be losing weight. Also when you mess up on your diet with them, the fall out is not all mixed in with emotional blackmail and bullshit - which is what happens a lot of the time when weight is dealt with in a Ds context. Those women are trained to deal with the issues around weight loss ... and they do it well.

I am working with my weight, I have lost a lot and I have a lot still to lose. My Dominant isn't the one responsible for that weight loss ... I am ... its not Him busting His balls in the gym .. I am ... its not Him eat carrots until He has turned orange ... its me. My Dom is not doing the work of my weight loss, if it was, I wouldn't be losing any weight. He prepared the ground, HE got me into a good place to make the decision to lose weight.

There is nothing magical about Him being a Dom that did that ... it was His knowledge about people and their body issues and their feelings about weight loss ... nothing that the leader of a Dieting support group wont be equally good at.

_____________________________

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RE: Subs only Weight Watchers? - 7/14/2008 8:00:50 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Just as many overweight dom/mes out there. You don't notice that simply because you're focused on checking out the subs. It isn't a d/s thing, it's due to machines doing all the stuff for us we used to do ourselves. When electric typewriters took over for manual ones, secretaries suddenly found themselves gaining 5 lbs a year. Use a remote instead of getting up to change the channel? More weight gain. Drive to the store instead of walking three blocks? Ditto.

I used to live in Manhattan and walked everywhere, carrying all my packages. Now I live in the country and can't possibly walk 8 miles to the store and 8 back carrying a week's worth of groceries for a family. Weight gain is built into our lives unless you live in the city.

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RE: Subs only Weight Watchers? - 7/14/2008 8:16:34 AM   
clearlightblack


Posts: 107
Joined: 3/3/2008
Status: offline 		I personally would enjoy that  (though I am not in Tx) and it let by a fellow sub.....

For me its not that I am afraid my Daddy will use it against me or anything, its that my Daddy likes Big beautiful women.....he loves me for me....and when i mention I want to loose a few pounds he is just like "okay" or in his voice you can kind of hear his eyes rolling..... It isn't that he is being supportive or unsupportive.....when i get frustrated with something he is there... it just that with Him I am me and i am perfect the way I am......

I am sure there are plenty of subs that would feel relieved to be among their peers for this task........I feel I'd feel more pressure having a Dom or Domme there all the time......maybe once a month but not all the time....

Just my 2 cents :)


(in reply to CasaDeLaWookie)
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RE: Subs only Weight Watchers? - 7/14/2008 9:33:23 AM   
brat4fun


Posts: 47
Joined: 4/27/2008
Status: offline 		One of the ladies here in Michigan runs a subs-only munch.  It's a "safe" place for subs to get together... let our hair down and stuff without having to be focused on our Dom/mes.  That sounds like the type of group that might be beneficial to you as well.  We can talk about anything there... lifestyle stuff, just plain life stuff... anything.

I think that the.dark and softness were right on when they said that the leadership of a group designed primarily to lose weight (or any other goal that affects health) is best left to the professionals.

I'm having some good success with Medical Weight Loss Clinic.  (It's a Michigan thing.)  I'm down 22.4 pounds in 18 weeks.  It might have been more if I hadn't fallen off the wagon in the past 4 weeks.  Silly, silly girl assuming that my new Sir wouldn't support me in my goals to be a healthier, more fit person... just because he's said he likes BBWs.  I finally got the nerve to talk to him about it and he's been very supportive.  I'm a lucky girl to have found a man who not only thinks I'm damn sexy the way I am (which I am!) but who encourages me to be the best person I can be (even if it means my boobs shrink a bit and he has less to play with... lol).

Anyway... good luck! :)

Anne

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RE: Subs only Weight Watchers? - 7/14/2008 11:40:55 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CasaDeLaWookie

Would a subs only Weight Watchers type chapter be helpful?



I'd say forget it. I don't think a sub should be relying on their dom to control their weight loss. As with anything else, should anything happen and the dom is removed from their life they probably won't have the control since it wasn't something they learned to do in the first place.

However, having just joined Weight Watchers, I can say that it's pretty damn nice for a submissive/slave. You get hard and fast rules (you must have so many servings of healthy oil, dairy, etc a day), you are held accountable with weekly weigh-ins, you get plenty of support from your group and the group leader and get praised for meeting your goals.

Plus they give me stickers...

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 7/14/2008 11:41:29 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: Subs only Weight Watchers? - 7/14/2008 12:07:21 PM   
CasaDeLaWookie


Posts: 9
Joined: 4/2/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you all for the feedback.

It seems that the general opinion here is that this would not be helpful and that any offer of such would be received with anything from suspicion to downright objection.  We were only interested in seeing if such a service would be perceived as being helpful where one could be themselves without worry.  Nothing more.  Even if it was received well, the intent was never for US to head such a group, just to see if it would be worth discussing with those who have been having problems as a possible idea for a solution.  I'm disapointed most of y'all seem to have thought this was some sort of machavilian ploy.  The intent was to see about an idea to help others and build the community support network as a way for the subs who are being disapointed by the all too common less than honorable doms to still be empowered to meet their goals without worry of being taken advantage of.  It's just our experience that those who seek out groups like Weight Watchers tend to need a very firm set of rules.  It seemed a natural fit as something we would all likely agree most submissives crave, so we figured it might be a good idea so that a peer group where ones lifestyle need not be something one would otherwise need to possibly worry about.  It was just an idea on how to provide the community with more resources for support...  nothing more, nothing less.

In any event, we'll file this away under the "bad idea" category apparently, if not "very bad idea."

And again, thank-you all for the feedback.

(in reply to brat4fun)
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RE: Subs only Weight Watchers? - 7/14/2008 4:32:30 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Casa- Senor Jaime is holding a hypnosis group specifically for weight loss and lifestyle changes relating to that.  From my knowledge, everyone who is attending is also kinky.  However, it's not sub only.  Is there something in the Austin community which makes you feel there a doms you would come across to prey on you in such a setting?

Also, I'd suggest contacting the leaders of CTSM or ASC since those are the already established s-type only groups.

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RE: Subs only Weight Watchers? - 7/14/2008 4:39:31 PM   
simpleplan2


Posts: 461
Joined: 7/5/2008
Status: offline 		I think you only lose for yourself.  Relying upon another for anything other than encouragement just gives the person an out if s/he doesn't lose the weight.  I do the 10,000 steps a day...bout 5 miles.  Keeps my weight down and I can eat pretty much anything I want.  You might want to suggest that next time.  Weight Watchers (mentioned in one of the posts) is another VERY good place.  If you can count to 30, you can do the program.  Again, it takes determination and perserverance.

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RE: Subs only Weight Watchers? - 7/14/2008 4:51:02 PM   
MisSalome


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/15/2007
Status: offline 		I am a submissive, and I also used to belong to a weight watchers.

The environment is supportive, but people have a tendency to rely on outside sources for what they do in life in a general sense. I gave up. Gained a ton of weight. Went through a serious depression and all of that other stuff.
About 7 months ago, I became vegan.
I have lost 60 lbs in so far, and lose about 2 pounds a week still thereafter.

I have found that the key to losing weight is being confident enough in yourself to realize that you deserve to be happy, and then go get what you want. I wanted to be thinner. I changed my lifestyle, I am now thinner. I am happier because of it. All of this, because I finally realized that I deserve more than what I had previously thought, in this life.

I don't know if my post helps anyone at all.
Just thought I'd throw my two cents into the pot.

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RE: Subs only Weight Watchers? - 7/14/2008 5:21:22 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I understand where you are coming from but I still stand by my advice that it wouldn't be all that helpful. Encouraging/requiring attendence at Weight Watchers or other groups will have the same effects and if one is required to move there are tons of Weight Watchers groups - plus online tools. There wouldn't be more of these groups.

I do agree that being able to be yourself is important. If you don't know I have an owner, you don't actually know me. But these meetings aren't really about you as an entire person - it's about your eating habits and losing weight. You've got ten minutes to talk before the meeting if you get there early and during the meeting you are mostly listening and getting tips on food.

Now, it might be interesting to see a sub/slave forum regarding weight loss, preparing healthy foods that please you and your owner but I don't think making a new system is going to have better results. At this point, with name brands starting to put points values on their products, it's getting pretty damn easy to follow whereas a new group would have to start over.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 7/14/2008 5:22:01 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: Subs only Weight Watchers? - 7/14/2008 7:25:29 PM   
CasaDeLaWookie


Posts: 9
Joined: 4/2/2006
Status: offline 		I'd heard about Jaimie's hypno class, that's actually part of what started the conversation while at the GWNN munch.  Was talking about the weight I'd lost, the class, and a few subs stated they were having problems with motivation and / or keeping the weight off.  That's where the conversation with area doms who had been chatting them up about helping with their weight, but that the basic jist of it was they had not been successful at that as they ultimately were just out for themselves and not the subs best interest / goals.  I know about the two subbie groups, and have referred quite a few subs that direction and heard nothing but great things about them.  I had not considered posting to them as my basic understanding is they are both subs only groups and that anyone like ourselves posting to it would be viewed as an intrusion...  thus asking here on the "Ask a submissive" forum.  :)  I'm not stranger to weightloss myself.  I know JUST how damn hard it can be.  I've dropped 90 lbs (orthopod said lose weight or have back surgery) and kept it off over the last 4 years.  The subs I chatted with at the munch tho were quite frustrated with the situation.  Discussing that with the wife later, that's when she had the brainstorm for the subs only Weight Watchers...  anyway, like I said earlier... clearly a bad bad idea.

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RE: Subs only Weight Watchers? - 7/15/2008 8:11:26 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I tried weight watchers it did not work for me i hated the weekly weight weigh ins.  Someone i know tried it and lost 60+ lbs.  I have taked up regular exercice and mixed martial arts eating right, and hope to lose some.  My Master loves me just the way i am sut will support me because i want to lose weight it is for me not for hm.  You gotta do it for yourself that way it has more of a chance of staying off.

Matt's litleone

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RE: Subs only Weight Watchers? - 7/15/2008 11:13:08 AM   
clearlightblack


Posts: 107
Joined: 3/3/2008
Status: offline 		ummm.....weight watchers start an online program for people who didn't want the weekly weigh ins but still wanted to monitor their progress.....and be on weight watchers.....

So no meetings.....still weight watchers.....and a sub meeting could fit into that....Sort of a support group of people who know what you are going thru........ if you have a busy life like this girl does.....not required....maybe a meeting or maybe just a healthy, planned subbie dinner at someone's place that can take place of the meeting.........just for some encouragement.....rotate every 5-6 weeks or something......i'd like that......

it isn't making someone responsible for you or your weightloss......just some support.....

just my 2 cents


< Message edited by clearlightblack -- 7/15/2008 11:16:15 AM >

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RE: Subs only Weight Watchers? - 7/15/2008 7:02:13 PM   
Zechriel


Posts: 308
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline 		Good evening!
I think that idea would not only send me running to the hills but just add to more of my "bad body image" perception. I am 5'7 and 144 and most of it is from having 3 kids in 5 years, yeah right in the tummy and thighs. I have had 2 Masters tell me that it does not matter but to me, I still look awful naked. Daddy does not seem to care either way and as much as I would LIKE to get back to 135, deep down I know it may not ever happen.
  I think this might actually be worse than regular weight watchers in that some of us do view other subs as being "higher up on the true slave ladder" This would just reinforce the fact that we are not as good/thin/beautiful as the are. At least that is my feelings. Time for a nap and a some chips ::bounces off to find Daddy's stash of chips::

Love,
Zechriel
  -Daddy's Baby Girl

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RE: Subs only Weight Watchers? - 7/16/2008 6:11:31 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CasaDeLaWookie

Something the wife and I (we are a Dom/Domme household) were discussing last night is we have noticed many of the subs in our local community here in Austin, TX seem to be seeking help with controlling their weight.  There seems to be a problem tho that many seem to be only finding doms which are using this either as a predatory technique or say they will do it only to end up only using them for their own selfish desires and don't really provide the structure or support the sub wants (or needs) to get their weight under control.  We wondered, would there be any value is establishing a sort of WeightWatchers type group, but for submissives only.  The idea being that the subbies could still have access to the support group, but not need to worry about either their submissiveness getting out and that one could discuss the complications of weight control as it pertains to your lifestyle, or have to fear having a dom prey on you... or say they will help with the weight control only to in turn us it against the sub and to control them.

Would a subs only Weight Watchers type chapter be helpful?

If so, would you rather have it led by a fellow sub, or by a Dom or Domme?

...or is this just a completely screwy idea that needs to be forgotten?


I know the intentions here are good ones, but rather than take on the attitude that the "poor little subbies can't get their weight under control because they don't have a Dom/me to give them what they want/need....", and trying to provide weight loss instruction and motivation for them, why not some type of motivation that pulls them out of that kind of mindset?  In other words, upping their self-esteem and motivating them to do things like lose weight for themselves, for their own health benefits.  IMO, saying they can't lose weight because they don't have a Dom/me is just an excuse for not doing it, or even a manipulation technique to attract one of the "gotta save the subbies"-type Doms. 

From what I've read in here, submissives who have a handle on their own lives and well-being are much more appealing on the whole to potential dominants, as opposed to subs with the "If I only had a Dom" mindset.  (Boy, that could really change the whole direction of The Wizard of Oz  )

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RE: Subs only Weight Watchers? - 7/16/2008 7:01:18 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Unless you have medical or nutrition training or had support that had such knowledge, I would not recommend it.
 
the.dark.
This is a big thing. People tend to think that being overweight is caused only by over eating, and that's not necessarily the case. There's a myriad of health issues that can cause weight gain, and the wrong diet can make them worse. So, unless you're a professional, I'd leave it alone.

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RE: Subs only Weight Watchers? - 7/16/2008 7:31:42 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

and so herd them altogether for the predators to find helpfully in one place?

They will have all the "Domme" they need in the woman who runs weight watchers .. or whatever you have in your area. If they can't stick at it there ... they wont stick at it anywhere.The women that run those groups .. make Hitler look soft, they make Stalin look like a nancy. Those women have a professional responsibility, and a financial incentive to keep you attending, and you will only do that while you continue to be losing weight. Also when you mess up on your diet with them, the fall out is not all mixed in with emotional blackmail and bullshit - which is what happens a lot of the time when weight is dealt with in a Ds context. Those women are trained to deal with the issues around weight loss ... and they do it well.

I am working with my weight, I have lost a lot and I have a lot still to lose. My Dominant isn't the one responsible for that weight loss ... I am ... its not Him busting His balls in the gym .. I am ... its not Him eat carrots until He has turned orange ... its me. My Dom is not doing the work of my weight loss, if it was, I wouldn't be losing any weight. He prepared the ground, HE got me into a good place to make the decision to lose weight.

There is nothing magical about Him being a Dom that did that ... it was His knowledge about people and their body issues and their feelings about weight loss ... nothing that the leader of a Dieting support group wont be equally good at.


I think this is excellent advice if you want to call it advice.  Problem with dominants trying to push submissives into something they do not want to do on their own...only means they will fall into their old ways after you stop pushing.

You need to build their self esteem.  You also need the same self esteem support group for the dominants out there.  There are plenty of fat people..male and female.  Dominant and submissive.


(in reply to softness)
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RE: Subs only Weight Watchers? - 7/17/2008 1:57:15 PM   
CasaDeLaWookie


Posts: 9
Joined: 4/2/2006
Status: offline 		To be clear, we _completely_ agree with most of you here in that the subs need to be the ones losing weight for themselves.  The idea was that of our friends here in the community who are subs and are currently with or seeking Doms to help control their weight, but that path has not been working out for them for a variety of reasons.  I think we have all recognized the myriad of reasons why this would not have, so it was not terribly surprising to us that an alternate idea would be well received if someone thought of one.  That is all we were trying to do here...  brainstorm a solution that may work out better for them.

The idea that seemed best was that of a respected program like Weight Watchers, but where it would have just been a subs only one so they need not worry about their lifestyle being something they need to hide, feel ashamed of, and would be able to discuss issues surrounding their weight and how it affects them in their lifestyle.  I expect at a regular Weight Watchers weigh in, if (for example) copious amounts of bruises turned up on one of the gals it'd be quite the ordeal...  but in a subs only one it's quite easy to see that being a dramtically different reaction.  There are many other potential issues with this lifestyle where I can easily think of conflicts from a Ds relationship where one might have want to discuss it in a peer group of subs (what if your Dom insists you eat something not on the diet for example?) where the advice from a group of soccer moms may not be nearly as relevant.  Who knows, maybe it would be...  Anyway!  We were just trying to think of an idea of how to get them the resources they would need to NOT have to depend on a Dom to get their weight undercontrol (something which was THEIR idea, not OURS) as a possible solution.

If folks here thought it may have been a good idea, I was going to suggest it to them the next time we spoke with them.  Given the near violent opposition to the idea however, (please stop sending us email berating us about preying on subs with weight problems, that is NOT what we we are doing here!  We are in fact trying to come up with ideas on how to STOP those who are doing that...  sheesh!) we will continue to try and think of other alternative ideas.  We were just trying to think of a way that the subs which are currently seeking Doms to help them could find another (more successful) path for their goals of loosing weight and becoming healthier...  something we are in favor of as we very much like seeing our friends happy and healthy.

(in reply to windchymes)
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