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RE: master cheating on slave? - 7/14/2008 2:10:37 PM

silkncarol

Posts: 318
Status: offline

You really have no way of knowing what the true dynamics of their relationship is....perhaps he's merely "playing" online....and never would have taken it to real time..perhaps it's how he amuses himself. Maybe some of your indignation comes from your own past experience with a cheater? Perhaps neither one of them consider it cheating if it's only online or the phone. Just consider yourself lucky to have found out this about him NOW rather than later.
Live and learn..............

quote:

ORIGINAL: dontknowwhattodo

the reason im not on my real profile is because im not sure whether or not i should out him... i dont want to cause her hurt if you guys feel he was just playing online and it was meaningless. im not t rying to end their relationship , i have been cheated on by a long term boyfriend before, and i really feel for her.

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Post #: 21

RE: master cheating on slave? - 7/14/2008 4:42:48 PM

XaviersXian

Posts: 525
Joined: 9/8/2007
From: Australia
Status: offline

greetings to all,

OP, the first thing that came to my mind was "why are you concerning yourself with their relationship like this?".

I personally wouldn't interfere with their relationship like that, to me, it is not your place to "warn" her. If she's real life with him, like you say she is, she would most likely be very aware of what he's doing, and possibly be very ok with it.

This is just my two cents.....

well wishes,

(in reply to silkncarol)

Post #: 22

RE: master cheating on slave? - 7/14/2008 5:19:57 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

So the collared woman knows he is lying to other women and is working them over as part of an agreement between them? Okay... then they both deserve whatever and this young lady was taken advantage of. She has every right to speak her mind.

Really I am not going for that answer. The collared knows all and is okay with him lying to other women to get his jollies online and maybe in personal meetings. NICE! lol

I don't believe the collared knows... thus his lies and the weird hour phone calls and no week end calls and profile statements.

Oh...and... she didn't involve herself into their relationship... HE DID when he tried to get buddy buddy and meet and all that. Let's lay blame where it really belongs, not the person who was used and lied to.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 7/14/2008 5:22:18 PM >

(in reply to XaviersXian)

Post #: 23

RE: master cheating on slave? - 7/14/2008 5:32:30 PM

Reigna

Posts: 334
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

I'm with Lockit. The behavior described here is way too common, both in and out of BDSM. Think about it--who benefits from the victims' silence? Really, who?

I advocate busting these mofo's to everyone who is or may be involved with them. In all likelihood, most people you tell--particularly his SO--will say to your face that you're delusional. (He'll be helpfully referring to you as "that crazy chick who won't leave me alone.") But in busting him, you're planting a seed. One day, after you've moved on and barely remember the guy, let alone care what he's up to--one day, that seed will bear fruit. And meanwhile, you know whom to avoid, i.e., the types telling you you're delusional.

Bust the fucker. And be more careful in future.

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 24

RE: master cheating on slave? - 7/14/2008 6:08:08 PM

nwcutie102

Posts: 162
Joined: 1/13/2008
Status: offline

did you ask him if he was attached? what was his response?

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Post #: 25

RE: master cheating on slave? - 7/14/2008 6:21:52 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Is it possible that it's over between them and her profile is out of date?

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Post #: 26

RE: master cheating on slave? - 7/14/2008 6:30:37 PM

phoenixrising43

Posts: 51
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline

Just learn from your mistake and move on. Learn to ask the right questions the next time, and don't put up with excuses. Don't be afraid to lose something or someone that is simply not worth having. I think it would be worse to be the woman at home, who doesn't know or who suspects but feels unempowered to do anything about it. She is the one stuck, not you. Because chances are very good, it will happen again with someone else.

(in reply to dontknowwhattodo)

Post #: 27

RE: master cheating on slave? - 7/14/2008 6:35:06 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Do what is right for you-and let his karma deal him it's own reward.

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Post #: 28

RE: master cheating on slave? - 7/14/2008 6:46:56 PM

phoenixrising43

Posts: 51
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline

Just read that Reigna...it is very tempting to bust the other person. But not sure if holding on to that hate is healthy either. I was tempted to send back all 3 of my collars to his house...separately. Then I thought about sending the leather harness and some other things. Thinking I could laugh while he is running back to his house every single day...at lunch....for weeks on end. I really could drag this thing on if I wanted to. Something is telling me it is not worth it though. Sheesh what you realize when your eyes have been opened for good.

I actually told him I had thought about doing this. He said I was way too classy for that. But...what does it matter anymore? She is nilla....I thought she was just his friend. But of course, she isn't. Very long story, too complicated to bore anyone with the details. Not important anyway. I think doing those things, would only hurt her. I don't even know if what he told me about her being sick is even true. My guess is...it isn't. But what if she is really ill, and she has no place to go but him. Doesn't seem like a very good deal in the end.

Anyway...have been where you are OP in real life. It's not pleasant for anyone, except maybe the person who got what they wanted out of it all. Which would mean the bad person really lucked out in the end. So much for karma.

(in reply to Reigna)

Post #: 29

RE: master cheating on slave? - 7/14/2008 6:48:45 PM

dontknowwhattodo

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/14/2008
Status: offline

no, the reason I saw it was because she was online, so I imagine it's up to date and there was also a journal entry a few weeks about about an anniversary passing between the two. thank you all so much for your help. im not trying to stay involved in the situation, once again, i just want to do the right thing, which i feel conflicted about. i do have proof of our conversations , my computer logs them, but i dont feel like setting a full fledged attack, and i really want to do the best thing for this girl that is involved with him, whatever won't hurt her because i've been there and i feel for her.

(in reply to silkncarol)

Post #: 30

RE: master cheating on slave? - 7/14/2008 7:00:24 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

dontknowwhattodo,

I responded to your email for a second time. The first was a mistake! OMG! lol I love my moments! I'm sorry about that!

(in reply to dontknowwhattodo)

Post #: 31

RE: master cheating on slave? - 7/14/2008 8:12:12 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I would want to know.
If I had been lying to you and to my SO, and you found out about her, I wouldn't be at all surprised that you outed me.
It seems fair to me.

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Post #: 32

RE: master cheating on slave? - 7/14/2008 8:15:11 PM

Reigna

Posts: 334
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenixrising43
it is very tempting to bust the other person. But not sure if holding on to that hate is healthy either.

I know exactly what you're saying, and I have considerable sympathy with the position. But again--who really benefits from silence? I don't think that a person who is wronged always is better off if she just shuts her yap and moves on. There is a great deal to be said for speaking out, and sometimes that's the right response. In this type of situation, I firmly believe that people should at least consider it far more often than they do.

< Message edited by Reigna -- 7/14/2008 8:19:07 PM >

(in reply to phoenixrising43)

Post #: 33

RE: master cheating on slave? - 7/14/2008 9:28:16 PM

phoenixrising43

Posts: 51
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline

Hmmmm....now am back to thinking about mailing everything back separately...lol. No skin off my nose because he really is not going to stay a long term friend. I mean who am I kidding here? I can't respect someone who lies by omission and yada, yada, yada. You know the drill. Though I don't want to start a war with someone that is not in control of their emotions anyway. The nilla whatever she really is....gf I suspect....is supposed to be very ill but has a fair chance of getting better. Though that could very well be a lie, who the hell knows anymore. Once people get caught in even one lie, you never trust what they say again. Ughh...

(in reply to Reigna)

Post #: 34

RE: master cheating on slave? - 7/14/2008 9:36:37 PM

CruelDesires

Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

Just send it back and wash your hands of the idiot. He's not worth the time . The best revenge you can have is to live happy and find someone worthy of your attentions. The rest is all fluff.

CD

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Post #: 35

RE: master cheating on slave? - 7/14/2008 10:23:48 PM

phoenixrising43

Posts: 51
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline

Thanks...I may send it all to Occupant....and be done with it...lol. With my address on it. Nothing to hide here where I live. ;) Might be slightly theraputic and he can tell her whatever story he can come up with on the spot.

(in reply to CruelDesires)

Post #: 36

RE: master cheating on slave? - 7/15/2008 9:20:24 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Some people don't consider online to be cheating. Just because you do doesn't mean he does. He may have been interested in a third and thought you had potential, and was waiting till you were hooked to mention it. I don't consider that the best way to go about it, but as you haven't met yet it doesn't matter.

Many long term online relationships never get around to meeting. It's a role play game, no different than Dungeons and Dragons for many. If she sees it as this, then she won't care.

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Post #: 37

RE: master cheating on slave? - 7/17/2008 7:42:12 AM

needsanddesires

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/15/2008
Status: offline

I had this before , and i did contact the person who was very grateful i did , we need to help each other in finding the con artists , maybe you should put his name on the site and see if any one else has had dealings with him .

(in reply to dontknowwhattodo)

Post #: 38

RE: master cheating on slave? - 7/17/2008 7:45:03 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

Just a reminder for those that don't know, it would be against TOS to post his name or id here.

quote:

ORIGINAL: needsanddesires

I had this before , and i did contact the person who was very grateful i did , we need to help each other in finding the con artists , maybe you should put his name on the site and see if any one else has had dealings with him .

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Post #: 39

RE: master cheating on slave? - 7/17/2008 9:13:37 AM

mzbehavin

Posts: 253
Joined: 1/15/2008
Status: offline

My thoughts are,
if his slave isn't smart enough to figure it out on her own...
I dont really feel that bad for her.. Is she that unaware of whats in her Masters world?!
Or she knows and doesn't care.
And if she doesn't know and would care,
why would you want to be the one to hurt her?
We could go many directions from there.
But just move forward.
Dont look back.
Every time we go through something like this, we learn how to do things better next time.
I'm sorry to hear you've been hurt, i know how badly that sucks.
I also know how to watch my back, ask the right questions, and i believe it was Mrs.Merc who said, dont get attached to anyone before meeting r/t. (Unless of course you know you're on line with no meeting.)
Ps. phoenix, i've heard the 'she's sick' thing before too. I would very highly skeptical of that one.

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Post #: 40

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