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RE: Life?? - 7/16/2008 7:04:54 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dragon2760
when contacting a Dominant for consideration are told that you are not really a submissive, if you can’t be available anytime they desire, and that you are nothing more than just a player and a wannabe??

So basically, you have a Dominant telling you that you shouldn't be fulfilling your responsibilities because if you do you're not really a submissive? Personally, I think any Dominant that would do that isn't really a Dom/me. They're the wanna be.

You're being honest about what you can do and kudos to you for doing what needs to be done.

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Post #: 21

RE: Life?? - 7/16/2008 1:45:16 PM

dragon2760

Posts: 114
Joined: 5/8/2008
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Thanks again for all the comments. I do feel alot better about my own convictions and the things that are most important too me right now. I guess I was just in one of those modes where I was taking things just a little too serious. You would think though that my convictions and dedication to those other aspects of my life would be qualities that would mean something to those that have questioned my submissiveness. But I guess to some it is all about them and to hell with everyone else.

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"When two people are alone together, and one of them is naked and tied up, and the other is standing over them holding whips and other torture implements, this is not the time to have a serious mismatch of expectations." Jay Wiseman

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RE: Life?? - 7/16/2008 7:40:20 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

Well, I don't know about that, DesFIP. I mean, I'm not saying it's a BAD idea, but, if they both have full lives, then scheduling time together can be rather difficult sometimes, at best. There are pros and cons to every situation.

I do agree though, that the OP needs to find someone who at least understands the situation. Perhaps one who HAS had children, but they are since grown and moved out on their own. That way they do know and understand that the munchkins come first, period. Just an idea though.

You're absolutely right that scheduling becomes more difficult. So what?

If you care about someone and you share the same values in such important areas as parenting, then you deal with the scheduling issues. I've known too many guys who don't pay support, don't see their kids, get small apartments so the kids can't possibly visit them, to ever respect those types. A man who takes time to do what must be done, no matter how it might interfere with his fun, is my definition of a MAN, as opposed to a spoiled immature child. And someone like that is well worth waiting for.

Much better to have one weekend a month with someone of quality than four weekends a month with someone you cannot respect.

I also don't find that people at a different life stage, like those who are enjoying an empty nest, want to be brought back into the chaos that is parenting. They forget what the reality of it is and make it clear to the child that he or she isn't welcome.

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RE: Life?? - 7/17/2008 2:22:22 PM

dragon2760

Posts: 114
Joined: 5/8/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AmbrosialWench

Unfortunately many people are rude.... Some of these people who refer to you as a fake and wannabe may think that your true reason for having time limitations are lies. This could be from personal experience and what others have told them people will say who are players or trying to hide a marriage.

You know I never really quite thought about that. It is a shame that there are so many wankers out there that cause problems for the rest of us. Other than taking my ums with me when we meet, which would be very inapproriate, or posting their pictures, which I'm sure would probably be againist the policies here, there's not mush else I can do there. Such is life I guess. As far as proving that I am not married I don't have a problem with showing my divorce papers. Actually I am quite of proud of how things were settled. But I guess that is what happens when one decides to jump the fence because they think that the grass is greener on the other side and when they find out is not and they try to jump back they find that now the fence is too high to get back.

Life is about choices and one choice that will never change is that right now my childern come first. As most of you have said and I agree if they can't live with that then that is their choice but it is choice I don't have to live with.

_____________________________

"When two people are alone together, and one of them is naked and tied up, and the other is standing over them holding whips and other torture implements, this is not the time to have a serious mismatch of expectations." Jay Wiseman

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Post #: 24