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My slave - 11/13/2005 1:21:20 PM   
bandbfortyish


Posts: 5
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		I have been a member of Collarme for the last few months. I,m irish a domme and have a beautiful slave .I find that most of the people that message me and my slave (who has her own membership here ) are nice people . But the other day my slave recieved a message from a Dom . Now she is lesbian and it clearly states that she is and is owned by me . It also says that men need not message her as she is not interesed . This guy insisted on sending messages saying he would make her his . She got really upset by it . My thing is i would have thought there was a code of honor between domme.s that you did not approach anothers slave without approaching the master or mistress first . Does anyone else agree with me ?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: My slave - 11/13/2005 1:25:31 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		Dear Maam - i think the issue here is more one that we have to just realise not everyone using forums are altruistic or even necessarily living bdsm in rl. Take the good, throw the rubbish out and dont worry over the little things.

(in reply to bandbfortyish)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: My slave - 11/13/2005 1:26:32 PM   
cltcdrd


Posts: 86
Joined: 5/31/2005
Status: offline 		Most do adhere to such a code of honor, yes (at least from what I have seen and observed) But, then, you will also run into those that are just rude, obnoxious, and a general PITA. If I was in your shoes, I would not concern myself with this over-eager little boy who is claiming to be a Dom, and I would not let it upset your slave either. They are not worth the aggravation that they cause :)

_____________________________

~~May Bright Blessings Be Bestowed Upon You and Yours~~

(in reply to bandbfortyish)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: My slave - 11/13/2005 1:43:49 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		You might find it helpful to keep in mind, as well as reminding your slave, that not everyone who claims to be a dom or master actually is. Second, thre is no such "code" between doms, though many do consider it good etiquette. The simple solution would be to have your slave block the individual who sent the emails and simply forget about it.

Welcome to the internet, no lifeguard on duty, swim at your own risk.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to bandbfortyish)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: My slave - 11/13/2005 1:58:10 PM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bandbfortyish

My thing is i would have thought there was a code of honor between domme.s that you did not approach anothers slave without approaching the master or mistress first . Does anyone else agree with me ?


i think a lot of people agree with You -- the problem is there are peple who won't even bother to go as far as disagreeing. They don't see Your wishes or those of Your slave worthy of a thought..it's only what they want that matters to them. My opinion only: consider the source and move on. They're not worth an extra thought or word.. not even
pity.

cheers
jimini

ps: welcome to the forums :)


_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin



When your heart speaks take good notes.





(in reply to bandbfortyish)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: My slave - 11/13/2005 2:37:12 PM   
HeavenlyCeleste


Posts: 82
Joined: 9/12/2005
Status: offline 		I agree 100% Kudow to your precious slave for her more than appropriate reaction. Try to remember that even idiots have the right to be wrong. Learn to let go.

Domina Celeste

(in reply to bandbfortyish)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: My slave - 11/13/2005 3:15:35 PM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		There is plenty of rude pepole out there, just ignore them, they can not hurt you.

(in reply to HeavenlyCeleste)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: My slave - 11/13/2005 3:53:25 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

i would have thought there was a code of honor between domme.s that you did not approach anothers slave without approaching the master or mistress first .


There is no more a code of honor in the lifestyle than there is anywhere else in life. People seem to think there is some sort of special brand of honesty in the lifestyle.

Ignore, block, delete them.

(in reply to bandbfortyish)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: My slave - 11/13/2005 4:05:21 PM   
perfection20005


Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline 		Unfortunately, my Master has has to write more than one Dom/Master about breaking the code that is suppose to be there. The way He has taught me is, you never start talking to someone who is owned by another until you have permission from the owner. There will always be the few a__holes that break the code and make the lifestyle look bad. Just ignore them and remember that there are many people out there that do believe in the code.

_____________________________

perfection

"I took one look at Him, and I knew He was my Master."

(in reply to bandbfortyish)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: My slave - 11/13/2005 4:40:33 PM   
wipmebeetme100


Posts: 198
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My thing is i would have thought there was a code of honor between domme.s that you did not approach anothers slave without approaching the master or mistress first . Does anyone else agree with me ?



Yes, i do agree with you...but all that means is that i won't be messaging your slave and propositioning her. There are always going to be the folks that believe that these "codes" are not for them. Hmmm....i am wondering if they believe that the "laws" that governments have put in place are not for them also.
Bottom line is that common courtesy, always an option, was not in use.
I would block this person from further communication with your slave.

Peace,
cathy

_____________________________

Happiness is like peeing your pants: Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth
~Unknown

(in reply to bandbfortyish)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: My slave - 11/13/2005 4:51:45 PM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		It's the internet...........most people see it as a form of entertainment. It does not matter what forum/site/thread one is in....what e-mail they have...what profile they have, nor what it says in it.
There is no code of honor on the internet.......nowadays anyone that can purchase a computer has access to it all. It means nothing. Don't let people have the power to make you (your slave) upset. I believe Padriag said it best.

Happy Sunday...

~smilezz~

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to bandbfortyish)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: My slave - 11/13/2005 8:34:09 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		The ultimate power, the power of the Gods is in your hand and the hands of your slave. You can allow them to upset you or you can refuse them that satisfaction. You even have the power to anihilate them totally... You can ignor or block them.... Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh BTW You also have the power to enjoy your time on the net and in CM and even make good friends as well as learn from some wonderfull people. On the net you have the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Which ones you interact with is your decision and no one can force you to change your mind. So Goddess and Goddessling go excercise your new found power!

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to smilezz)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: My slave - 11/13/2005 8:52:47 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		What I have learned whether it be here on collarme, anywhere else on the Internet or in the world, you cannot expect everyone to have the same integrity as your or be as honest in their approach.

I have made it clear on my profile that I have one boy that I adore and he has made it clear on his that he is devoted to me and yet, we both get mail from people courting us. I was asked twice this week by trolls if they could be put on a waiting list.

I find it tactless and rude. But at the same time, I don't let it get to me. I would rather focus my energy on my boy and I then on trying to get through to people who probably will never learn.

Remember, the block button is your friend!

And welcome to the boards.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to bandbfortyish)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: My slave - 11/13/2005 9:22:03 PM   
piper3333


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/28/2004
Status: offline 		first,Yes to the assumption that Yours Is Yours.You should also be proud of your slaves reply and feel good in you're relationship together.second;as a fellow Domme(that never sounds right)I too,am always amazed to find that I am in minority as a righteous thinking person.Its not hard to live by a code,unless you can't find One.enjoy all the support.......piper
21:21

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: My slave - 11/13/2005 9:36:13 PM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bandbfortyish
This guy insisted on sending messages saying he would make her his . She got really upset by it .


When you give others (even a stranger, no less) the power to effect your emotions, you do yourself quite a disservice. Learn to turn the jerks off (and teach that skill to those you train), and you will never again find yourself upset by some random email.

quote:


My thing is i would have thought there was a code of honor between domme.s that you did not approach anothers slave without approaching the master or mistress first .


This is a rather naive thing to write. Either you are very new to the scene, or you refuse to take off the rose collored glasses.

The BDSM community is full of dom/mes trying to steal subs, and subs who have no issue with hopping from dom/me to dom/me. I wish I could say this was a phenomena of online BDSM only, but that simply is not the case. There is no honor amongst thieves.

I hvae been involved in both the swing and BDSM communities, and I have become to realize that the BDSM community is so much more competitive and petty. Tops and bottoms are constantly undercutting one another to make themsleves look good...to get an edge on the competition. This just does not exist (at least to such an obvious degree) in the swing world.

Make of this community what you will, but do not expect peace, love and brotherhood. *smile*

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.


My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to bandbfortyish)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: My slave - 11/13/2005 10:45:51 PM   
MissDiandSirHugh


Posts: 1158
Joined: 8/11/2005
From: Goondiwindi ( Qld )
Status: offline 		Even if there was a code writen or unwriten as in any other thing in life soem only read the pages they wish to so all suites their desires and wants,exactly the same as they only read what they wish to both of the profile and in what the profile says.
Which in a lot of cases is as far as Female and thats it no more at all,but if you just ignore said speed readers then you will gain strength your self by just dominating their desires and feelings with out any of it geting under your skin.
All you do now is put it down as an experience most go through at some time and move on with your lives to discover the ones who do know all the pages of the code and can respect others in this life style.



_____________________________

HoRoo for now from Us both and enjoy all you read even if you don"t agree with us or others.
Knowledge is no Burden to Carry

(in reply to bandbfortyish)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: My slave - 11/14/2005 12:29:38 AM   
bandbfortyish


Posts: 5
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		I really want to thank you all for responding to my message . It is nice to know that my belief that most people would respect our ralationship, and have sent this person a message telling him to desist with his messaging my slave (but maybe not as polietly as that). and have decided to just ignore this kind of thing in future.I am new to the lifestyle and maybe i expect the kind of honesty i give to others. To my way of thinking being dishonest is a waste of time for everyone involved.But maybe that is just me ,i am what i am and if people dont like it i,m not going lie to them to gain their favour . Again thanks and i look forward to posting in future Rose

(in reply to bandbfortyish)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: My slave - 11/14/2005 12:42:33 AM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		Pmsl a code of honour on a dating site so to speak. Obviously a newbie to the net.
This happens all the time. Alot of people put down their taken so they dont get tons of emails.
Something you sadly just have to put up with...

(in reply to bandbfortyish)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: My slave - 11/14/2005 12:44:17 AM   
MissDiandSirHugh


Posts: 1158
Joined: 8/11/2005
From: Goondiwindi ( Qld )
Status: offline 		We wish you much success in the future now that you have found a new part of your life can come forth when needed also look forward to seeing your posts any time wether fo rhelp as this one but alos for the ones that you are able to help others.
Be safe and stay true at all times.

_____________________________

HoRoo for now from Us both and enjoy all you read even if you don"t agree with us or others.
Knowledge is no Burden to Carry

(in reply to bandbfortyish)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: My slave - 11/14/2005 2:25:45 AM   
redheadedfire4u


Posts: 104
Joined: 11/11/2005
Status: offline 		I have met many who do regard this as a code of pratice, others who simply see it as curtesy, unfortunately many more who simply don't give a f**k and do what gratifies them most. I have been on this site for 3 days and have had about 50 messages, and only about 5 that were actually just wanting to talk, at least 80% were respectful but at least half were offers of "lets get to know each other better, wink wink"

my profile reads
At this time I am exploring the possibilities with Sir Paul and angel and am not actively seeking anything more than friendship and the exchange of ideas and thoughts, so please be respectful in Your contact with me, I will not answer anyone who is rude or disrespectful of me ... warm smiles to all

as for the 20% that ranged from nasty to down right discusting hey thats what block is for. I am offended by some of which is written (most of which I do not read past the first onslaught of words), but I will not allow these people to upset me and play there nasty little games. My condolances to You and those You care for, but there are many nice peeps on here and it is well worth blocking the few to enjoy the many lol
warm smiles to all

_____________________________

Driver1961's girl "wild child" and loving sister to His angel

(in reply to MissDiandSirHugh)
Profile   Post #: 20
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