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~~The Online Equivalent of a Cock Block~~


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~~The Online Equivalent of a Cock Block~~ - 7/16/2008 12:44:05 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		I was talking with a friend yesterday day about how people network now in BDSM. He had discussed how he believed that some "Dom" was Slandering him to a new girl that he was interested in. I asked how he knew and he said because the girl told him that she had been told that he was Vain and Arrogant and had a History of getting caught up in something and forgetting his responsibilities to the submissive.

I asked him why another Dom would say this about him and he said he didn't know, Knowing the girl from another forum I went over and asked her. It wasn't a Dom it was a series of other submissives that responded to a thread she had put up on a Yahoo Group and got just over a dozen e-mails from other subs who said they belonged to him or were interested in him at one time and then they shared thier experiences. I got the name of a few but not all and asked him if any of these names rang a bell, only 1 of them did. I believe that he may ove known one or two more but online people like to change thier names a lot so who knows.

The Interesting thing is the story he told me about the one girl he did recognize. She had sent the other girl a very telling story about a Public Dungeon in SoHo and how my Friend and her had had this connection and he swept her off her feet only to demand sex and porographic material and then after he had filmed thier most intament nights disappeared and she was afraid he might have posted them on the net or maybe he was trying to be her. I mean it was very well written and very believable and well even I would have believed it if it weren't for the fact that my Friend had NEVER EVEN BEEN TO HOLLYWOOD, In fact he had never even met the girl, see according to HIS story she contacted him on him MySpace account and then they took it to YahooMessenger and after a few days he lost total interest and told her that he didn't think it was going to work thier interests were just too different and he didn't see his wants changing to meet her limits anytime soon. Then supposedly she started sending him hate mail and trying to get him to download e-mails with Virused Programs, his Norton flagged like 8 different e-mails she sent him.

I told her what he said and apparently she has just heard far too much about this guy and decided she was just done. Even though she has been blatently lied too and he could not account for any of the other girls and she wasn't willing to give any more information on them she took it seriously and my friend was left with unanswered questions and the Mystery of who hates him so much.

It made me wonder about the Subbie Network or SlaveMatrix, if you are curious subs talk and chat they talk about who hits on them and who is all hands, they talk about who is good in bed and who is secretly a little boy who thinks that BDSM and calling himself a Master to girls who pretend he is one will make him no longer a Homosexual.

I have been talked about to women in other countries and contacted just so I could be called an asshole for "Not appreciating such a wonderful girl" it didn't seem to matter that she had cheated on me 4 times.

So Anyone else been the Victim of a Cyber Slander by a KeyBoard KowBoy or a Cyber Samuari? 

Have you ever intentionally bad mouthed a Dom or a sub because they rejected you?

How do you think this affects people?

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term
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RE: ~~The Online Equivalent of a Cock Block~~ - 7/16/2008 12:49:44 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

How do you think this affects people?



Same way it affects anybody. This isn't something unique to BDSM by any means. Sometimes a person will lose dates unfairly, but what are they really losing? Clearly, it wasn't a match. Other times it won't be slander but the person in question doesn't want to admit to it. Still other times it isn't slander at all but the person in question admits they behaved poorly and are trying to move past it but isn't finding it easy. Still, a problem of just not being a match.

I don't think this is a huge problem, or at least, any worse of a problem because it involves d-types and s-types.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 7/16/2008 12:50:34 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
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RE: ~~The Online Equivalent of a Cock Block~~ - 7/16/2008 12:51:05 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I really do not care what anyone online thinks of me. I rely on the old fashioned system.

Getting to know people, letting them get to know me and what type of human being I am. If someone that cares about me, hears something negative that is untrue, chances are they aren't going to give the gossip any thought. Other than to tell the idiot to fuck off then come tell me all about it. If it is even that important.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
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RE: ~~The Online Equivalent of a Cock Block~~ - 7/16/2008 1:04:40 PM   
UR2Badored


Posts: 506
Joined: 2/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

How do you think this affects people?

Steel


This is a interesting topic, and I am interested in following this thread.  It seems that many (certainly not all), view an ex or ex would be (online or otherwise) with lack of a better term, narcissistic bias. I would prefer someone who seemed to be fair in discussing what went wrong in their past relationships.  It is a red flag when a potential partner never takes any blame in what went wrong in a past relationship and seeks a victim role.  There is always something  feeding the ex-wolf or  ex-biotch--sometimes I find the complainer is more telling than the complaint.

< Message edited by UR2Badored -- 7/16/2008 1:08:24 PM >

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(in reply to SteelofUtah)
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RE: ~~The Online Equivalent of a Cock Block~~ - 7/16/2008 1:09:16 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I agree with the sexy woman above me...

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to UR2Badored)
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RE: ~~The Online Equivalent of a Cock Block~~ - 7/16/2008 1:10:46 PM   
UR2Badored


Posts: 506
Joined: 2/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I agree with the sexy woman above me...


One good turn deserves another --I agree with the sexy woman above me

< Message edited by UR2Badored -- 7/16/2008 1:12:30 PM >

_____________________________

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way
Mark Twain

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RE: ~~The Online Equivalent of a Cock Block~~ - 7/16/2008 1:10:54 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		**Off Topic**

UR2Badored

I Fucking LOVE your sig line I too am a HUGE Twain Fan.

**Back to your Thread now**

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to UR2Badored)
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RE: ~~The Online Equivalent of a Cock Block~~ - 7/16/2008 1:13:50 PM   
NeedingMore220


Posts: 615
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		Someone had a signature line on here ... something to the effect of, 'It's none of my business what people say about me behind my back." 

I try and operate that way and not worry about what others think of me and use my best judgment. 

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: ~~The Online Equivalent of a Cock Block~~ - 7/16/2008 1:19:27 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		i have never slandered anyone whether i was angry with them or not...but i have found that my local community is small and that there is no way to not bump heads in the best lit of dungeons...i try to keep my opinions to myself if i run into a friend who has plans to play with or date a Dom i have known in whatever way...everyone has a different dynamic and someone who is not a match for me could be perfect for my friend. If im asked as a casual reference confidentially i generally try to include the other person in the conversation so that there is no confusion over what i said or didnt say. i have found that being open and honest is the best defense against unfair attacks...and i tend to wonder if i hear something negative about a Dom if the source of the information is a trusted friend. i tend to make up my own mind about my partners or potentials. The more fantastical the story, the more i may listen cuz i like a good story...but i reserve my judgements to my own making and are only for my own circumstance.

ETA that this was a fast reply...ill get this thing eventually....

< Message edited by persephonee -- 7/16/2008 1:20:18 PM >

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: ~~The Online Equivalent of a Cock Block~~ - 7/16/2008 1:27:40 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Sometimes cock block is good.  A few years ago I was telling friends about a dominant I was talking to.  I have some descriptions, enough that they were able to identify him.  It turns out they not only knew him, but also knew his submissive.  As in knew them real time.  They were able to explain to me that he was 1) in a relationship; 2) had a habit of trolling for subs on dating sites.  I'm glad they told me about his history and current situation, saved me a lot of grief.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
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RE: ~~The Online Equivalent of a Cock Block~~ - 7/16/2008 1:31:47 PM   
Asmodeus


Posts: 81
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		My SO had a sub when we first got involved. She seemed happy that her Mistress had found someone special in her life (we're a Dom/Domme couple)/ The sub had her own husband and there was never anything sexual in the relationship between her and my SO. 

When my SO and I moved in together the sub basically went off the deep end.  Cut off all contact.  She was in debt to us quite a bit, but we were willing to write it all off if that was what she wanted.

We later heard from friends, both in real life and online, that she was actively bad mouthing us all around the community (We also found out she was stalking us).

Eventually I guess she got bored.  She back on CM with an updated profile (with a photo I took of her) ad I guess looking for someone new to obsess over.  If a Dom asked me what I knew about her I would point him to the story in my profile., but I wouldn't volunteer any other info. Nor would I tell someone she was involved with about her past.

_____________________________

Deus Ex Machina

(in reply to persephonee)
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RE: ~~The Online Equivalent of a Cock Block~~ - 7/16/2008 1:32:53 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I've never slandered anyone.  Even with the former psycho, all I would tell folks is to be VERY CAREFUL.  The convictions are on the internets, anyway... but that was after he left!

I do talk about new people to mutual friends, but generally not until after I have formed my own opinions.  I want to hear the experiences of others that have similar personal standards to mine.  I am not interested in hearing secondhand rumours.

The sad thing is, there are a few charmers in my local community who need to be REMOVED based on their behaviour.  What can we do?  You can't be prosecuted for being an unethical asshole, right?  We take our chances.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



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RE: ~~The Online Equivalent of a Cock Block~~ - 7/16/2008 1:32:59 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		Good Point, Katy

In that situation I don't see that as a cock block I see that as an insight into the life of the person you are getting involved with. I am talking about the Lie, The Streched Truths, and the Exagerations that get passed around. Like the "He's Married" crap that gets thrown around here. I mean you would think that every guy who prides his privacy is just a married troll.

The Married Acusations cause MANY cock blocks in this lifestyle because even when it ISN'T TRUE it is passed from person to person as a outright fact.

Or the Abusive Card when that one gets thrown if it is in a Small community and isn't true you might as well make that person wear the scarlet letter because well people like to believe the worst of a person not the best it is an odd thing but In my experience it is everpresent.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to KatyLied)
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RE: ~~The Online Equivalent of a Cock Block~~ - 7/16/2008 1:36:16 PM   
LadyIce


Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		The circle of people that are going to really be out and involved in their
local communities is really small.
Even big events such as BR, tend to draw the same people year after year.
If you limit your mates to those inside the "BDSM" community, then there
is going to be a fair amount of sharing and running into past play partners.
This is one of the reasons, I like to find my partners "outside" of the community,
and then bring them to events with me.
I like the "Who is that?" factor.


< Message edited by LadyIce -- 7/16/2008 1:38:01 PM >

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
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RE: ~~The Online Equivalent of a Cock Block~~ - 7/16/2008 2:20:46 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I don't need someone in my life who believes rumors about me... so I'm thinking a guy should be glad he's a victim of cock-block, because it just weeded out someone who believes in rumors.

I've had people cmail me about people that they see me flirting with on the boards, or see flirting with me.  I take what they have to say with a grain of salt, particularly when it's third-hand information (as in, "a friend of mine who wants to remain anonymous said that guy is a user").  Of course, since 99.9% of my flirting is innocent, they aren't even warning me about someone that I am interested in.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to LadyIce)
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RE: ~~The Online Equivalent of a Cock Block~~ - 7/16/2008 2:34:41 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		In an odd way my group has been affected by this sort of stuff. 
Back when I started participating in munches, I found that I wished to chat more than what was acceptable in our list.  A group of five of us loved talking about bdsm, munches, toys, what nots and found it best to do it online in the hope we could inspire people to join in.
We were told, take it offline.
So, I created a separate group online for people who enjoyed chat and interaction.
We began with 5, it grew to 27, before too long we had 95 and.. a VERY negative reaction from the initial group.
What started as an honest desire for more chat became to them, an insult.  As if we were talking badly about them behind their back in other groups.  In truth, we didn't care what they did.  I ended up creating another munch group and locating it 70 miles north of the original.  I didn't wish to cut into their activity.  But they saw it as a rivalry.  It was out and out war for a few years.  Well.. war from their end.  I was pretty content in my own group.  We had an active membership and could pull in 40 people at a sitting.  And a LOT of discussion, chat, banter went on in online forums.
Eventually I moved some of my people back down to my own area (we had a coupe happen with my other co-owner and he took my created list).  I started with 20, then it grew.  And people took their time joining us.  Why?  Because they had heard bad things about the kind of people we were.
Nonsense!  My people are FABULOUS!  They are friendly, chatty, gregarious, welcoming and fun.  The reputation as bitches was something which was created and spread by the first original group.  We are the same people we always were.  Friendly, chatty, ect.  Nothing has changed for us. 
But battling that stigma of people branding you as a bitch, bad, ect, simply because we didn't want to be limited to one way, has kept us from growing the way we might have, or as quickly.
Right now despite the memory of that stigma, my group is the most active of any I have seen.
If people do say bad things about you, the challenge is to rise above it.  Don't jump into the negativity of their game.  Ride it out and eventually your actions will win many over.
My list ROCKS!  And, a surprising number from the old now merged first list, are now among my members. 
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: ~~The Online Equivalent of a Cock Block~~ - 7/16/2008 5:49:05 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Happens all the time n all domains.  I think it's important to realize that just about EVERYONE has people willing to say that they rock and that they suck, and that you just need to be who you are.  The ones who work well for you will be attracted to that, the ones who don't won't.  Great system.  I don't do that sort of he-said, she-said, track down drama thing.  If she puts more weight into what some other dude said about me than being WITH me, then she's welcome to go where she feels happy.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: ~~The Online Equivalent of a Cock Block~~ - 7/16/2008 7:10:09 PM   
katie978


Posts: 352
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline 		  ~What he says below me. We posted the same story at the same time. Hee hee~


Would I ever cock-block someone I knew? Yes-but I would do it privately and I would only include fact, not suspicions. If I had heard rumors, I'd simply mention I had heard rumors. If I had a bad experience in person, I would try and give just the facts, and let the person decide from there.

edited: so I don't repeat what my Dom says right below me.
 

< Message edited by katie978 -- 7/16/2008 7:16:46 PM >

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"That's the plan. Rule the world. You and me. Anyday ::wink::"



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RE: ~~The Online Equivalent of a Cock Block~~ - 7/16/2008 7:14:07 PM   
Exquemelin


Posts: 113
Joined: 2/2/2007
From: CT
Status: offline 		Happened to me, fortunately my sub and I had been talking for a long time and she didn't believe the person who tried to badmouth me. A female Dom who I believe was half of a dom/dom couple had contacted my sub before she was my sub and basically said "Oh Yeah I've heard stories about him, Be careful with him" which was fun coming from a woman I'd never met and to be honest I wasn't particularly active in any community so the idea of me having a reputation anywhere was pretty silly. As I've said fourtunately my sub didn't believer her and we soon met and started our rlationship that is now close to a year old.

Ex


_____________________________

testing
The Hammer is my penis.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: ~~The Online Equivalent of a Cock Block~~ - 7/16/2008 7:16:14 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		The payback is to spread the word that the attacker has herpes.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

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