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Anyone Ever Get This? A Man Question - 7/17/2008 10:43:19 AM   
Daddystouch


Posts: 162
Joined: 10/20/2006
From: South East England
Status: offline 		A common problem for many men is premature ejaculation. Luckily, I don't have this problem. Unfortunately, I do often find it impossible to cum during sex! Not impossible as such. I can go in and fuck with little or no regard for my partner and come in minutes if I want to, and somtimes that's fun, but I also like loooong fucks. I suppose I put myself in a mental place where I resist the urge to cum, but then when it's been a while and it's time to end it, I find I just can't get back to the place where I can cum. It's quite frustrating - not only do I obviously want to cum, but it feels like the fuck is lacking a full stop, so to speak.

Anyone ever have this problem or got any ideas on how to solve it?


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RE: Anyone Ever Get This? A Man Question - 7/17/2008 11:01:58 AM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		Well, I'm at a point in my life where my sexual stamina is kind of...erratic, to say the least.  Sometimes it will take a relatively short amount of time to reach an orgasm, and sometimes it will take forever.  It kind of depends on how sexually active I've been in recent days.  The more sex I have, the longer it tends to take.  If I haven't had it in a few days, then my Owner shouldn't be surprised when I orgasm from her patting me on the head. :-p

When I first became sexually active, it was even more of a problem sometimes.  Mostly because I was very nervous and I was intensely focusing on reaching an orgasm, because I was irrationally afraid I wouldn't be able to.  So, until I got used to it, it tended to take -quite- a while.  I find if I focus on something rather intensely rather than simply enjoying the moment, I will kind of just hit this point where it becomes relatively difficult.

So yeah, that's my limited experience in the area.  Don't know if it  helps at all.

DV's Fox

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RE: Anyone Ever Get This? A Man Question - 7/17/2008 12:10:13 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		I had a vanilla partner who took forever to cum. Argh. What I did to help him was to gently say, "Lie down with me for a little while and let's just chill." It saved us both. In the beginning he apologized way too often for being unable to achieve orgasm, but after some time he became more comfortable with this just being one of our pieces of intimate fact. He never got over it (although I don't know about now). I think you're just going to have to deal with it as gracefully as possible and hopefully hang out with women who are cool with it.

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RE: Anyone Ever Get This? A Man Question - 7/17/2008 12:36:43 PM   
FRSguy


Posts: 653
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Same thing with me... It usually takes me a while to cum and when it comes to blow jobs most woman can just hang it up because if I am not compleatly use to the woman there is no way in hell I can cum.  I have had a lot (actually allmost all) of my vanilla girlfriends since I was a teen freak out about this.  Its a tattle tale for sure because with my current sub that I have been with for years... if she cant get me to cum oraly she know I am thinking badly of her or that there is something that she has done thats wrong.  Its really prety amazing how many woman get there egos crushed just because you dont cum in two minutes.

As far as a solution to the problem I really dont have one.  It has  caused all kinds of problems in my life.  When I was  younger and a woman met me in a bar and I was drinking I would just say no... I would explain why and that would make it worse. Some would want a ride to somehow prove something and if I took them up on it they would have bruised egos. To this day it kind of amazes me.....lol  especially if they went on for an hour about how they gave the best blow jobs then out in the parking lot after 45 minutes and I am ready to fall asleep from boredom.

I have slowed it all down... done the talks with them and still in some cases ended up with woman actually in tears over it after a long weekend which I allways thought was kind of a reversal sort of thing which I allways thought was weird... Its one of the reasons I am actually in this lifestyle. The girls are able to endure so much more and take such longer rides and you can fully use a sub to its full potential and usually they area ready for more unlike when I was vanilla and there were hole order limitations and what not. Also subs actually seem to know what to do with a cum shot and dont seem to shy away that much from taking a huge load any way you want them to take it. I cant stand shy girls...lol

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RE: Anyone Ever Get This? A Man Question - 7/17/2008 12:37:14 PM   
Daddystouch


Posts: 162
Joined: 10/20/2006
From: South East England
Status: offline 		You're worrying me now, I didn't think it was a big deal!

Also, it's not that it takes me a long time. Like I said, I can cum quick if I want. But if I want to stay in the game for a long while I literally can't cum. Even through masturbation. And under normal circumstances I can masturbate myself to orgasm in well under a minute.


< Message edited by Daddystouch -- 7/17/2008 12:40:05 PM >

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RE: Anyone Ever Get This? A Man Question - 7/17/2008 12:44:06 PM   
FRSguy


Posts: 653
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		With me I have no control.  It takes me a long time usually. Once I get really comfortable with a woman then times can get much shorter but it still takes a while for me.  If I could control it then it never would have been an issue... I just would have screwed with womans heads now and then...lol Since being in this lifestyle it hasnt been an issue at all. Not even any coments about it.  It was just the vanilla girls that gave me trouble when I was younger.

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RE: Anyone Ever Get This? A Man Question - 7/17/2008 12:49:59 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		Don't worry. Not being able to cum is perfectly biologically normal. You've become habituated to the sensation. Your sensory neurons are working just fine. It's your motor neurons that fail to excite as much as before. (Sensory in, motor out.) It depends on changes at the synapse between the sensory and motor neurons. This happens in everything that has neurons. Think of it this way: If you have a clock that chimes on the hour, or if you live near railroad tracks, you will notice the sound less and less.

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RE: Anyone Ever Get This? A Man Question - 7/17/2008 1:32:34 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		I had a boyfriend who had times when he couldn't orgasm.  As much as I adore sex, a gal can only take being pummeled so long before she starts to feel like her lover is going to shake something loose or rub something raw! 

Just as an experiment, I kept my vibrating egg nearby and when he next said he couldn't orgasm, I very not so gently inserted the vibrating egg into his ass.  I was just being helpful you know...He orgasmed...right on the spot.  Then he immediately proceeded to beat my ass till I couldn't sit down comfortably for two days.  

Not sure this will help you out much, but if you are open to trying something out (assuming you haven't tried it already)....just saying. 

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RE: Anyone Ever Get This? A Man Question - 7/17/2008 1:47:05 PM   
FRSguy


Posts: 653
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Actually,  I love that!

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RE: Anyone Ever Get This? A Man Question - 7/17/2008 1:49:07 PM   
Lumus


Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline 		OP, it sounds like the "mental place" you put yourself in just needs a trigger to overcome.  You've already got some good advice about experimenting with mental and physical triggers; I would add [from personal experience] that it helps if you learn to build an opposing scenario that causes the reverse effect.  Take a scenario that does nothing but satisfy your own interests and either act it out or learn to run it through your head.

Discuss it with your partner as well - there's a good chance they can help you overcome your "blockage".  Best of luck.


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RE: Anyone Ever Get This? A Man Question - 7/17/2008 1:54:07 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I am the same way, I at times defer orgasm to the point where I can't come.  What works for me is to switch focus from trying to cum to something else and come back to it, or for her to whisper something really raunchy or taboo in my ear, or DO something really taboo, that tends to cure the problem.  However, I have faked orgasm at times, not recently, to protect a partners ego, not because I feel they failed but because they would take it that way.

Now, part of the problem sounds like you masturbate in a way that has trained your body to cum quickly or not at all.  Masturbation is training, I made BSB get rid of that damn Hitachi for that reason.  I knew that in her unique case, that if she got used to it, I would almost never be able to get her to cum other ways and I much prefer other ways.  So start allowing yourself some time, don't just "toss it off".  If you don't have anyone local, find a couple of hot women to have phone sex with and take your time, try to have multiples, etc. 

I am not with BSB often enough but I want to get back to where I can orgasm without ejaculating so that I can have multiple orgasms again.  However, it really only works or at least only has a point if you are getting to make love to your partner often enough to do the work.

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RE: Anyone Ever Get This? A Man Question - 7/17/2008 2:33:24 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Can you find a happy medium in there somewhere?  Like, don't put yourself quite so deeply into "that mental space", or go for a simple "long" fuck, not a "looooong" fuck?

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RE: Anyone Ever Get This? A Man Question - 7/17/2008 2:37:50 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		Yeah, I get this a lot, actually. Being so long lasting sounds like it might be a boon, but it isn't. I've had several partners ask me, sometimes nicely, sometimes not, to please stop! Fucking to orgasm is nice, but it's hardly the be all and end all of sexual experience. Especially if your are working far too hard at achieving it. If I were you (as I am in some small way) I'd just fuck until my partner was satisfied, and then finish myself off. You can make this sort of ending fun for you both by simply making it a show for your partner. If you are Dom, then you can also take the oportunity to aim for interesting areas of your partner's body... back, breasts and the like... You might even want to go for a porno "money shot," if that's your thing.

Of course, you might just need more intense stimulation... have you tried anal?

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RE: Anyone Ever Get This? A Man Question - 7/17/2008 4:41:38 PM   
StrongSpirit


Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline 		Some men find that viagra can help with this issue (mainly if the problem involves losing an errection)

Another way is to increase stimulation.   Vibrators can do it, as can lubricant.  So can watching porn while having sex.  Talking dirty can also help.


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RE: Anyone Ever Get This? A Man Question - 7/17/2008 4:56:52 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		My husband is also very much able to go for hours without ejaculating.  He can also orgasm without ejaculate.  I find that we just need to switch things up sometimes, I help him masturbate, etc.  Or he just doesn't ejaculate and it's that simple.  He doesn't have to cum to feel accomplished nor does he have to cum for me to feel accomplished.  We just know who he is and that the next time may or may not result in the outcomes of the last time.

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RE: Anyone Ever Get This? A Man Question - 7/17/2008 4:58:30 PM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		Not since I quit smokin`...rock...
 
Duh

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RE: Anyone Ever Get This? A Man Question - 7/17/2008 5:03:26 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		I'm built a bit on the big side, but always use a condom-which sucks for sensation in the average pussy. Which can be frustrating,tight enough to stay hard-but still too loose to really get enough friction through the damned rubber.
 
 So my tendency has always been to go for the asshole on any sub I am dating. Wash it out, stick it in, things are nice and snug. Doesn't hurt as a sadist that it hurts a bit to begin with as well. The noises and squirming and trying to escape routines are always very exciting.
 
 

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RE: Anyone Ever Get This? A Man Question - 7/17/2008 5:09:21 PM   
variation30


Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddystouch

A common problem for many men is premature ejaculation. Luckily, I don't have this problem. Unfortunately, I do often find it impossible to cum during sex! Not impossible as such. I can go in and fuck with little or no regard for my partner and come in minutes if I want to, and somtimes that's fun, but I also like loooong fucks. I suppose I put myself in a mental place where I resist the urge to cum, but then when it's been a while and it's time to end it, I find I just can't get back to the place where I can cum. It's quite frustrating - not only do I obviously want to cum, but it feels like the fuck is lacking a full stop, so to speak.

Anyone ever have this problem or got any ideas on how to solve it?



that happens to me as well. it takes entirely too much work to orgasm after a long session. try taking a break to play with her in other ways to clear your head. then finish her off.


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RE: Anyone Ever Get This? A Man Question - 7/17/2008 5:11:03 PM   
variation30


Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: batshalom

I had a vanilla partner who took forever to cum. Argh. What I did to help him was to gently say, "Lie down with me for a little while and let's just chill." It saved us both. In the beginning he apologized way too often for being unable to achieve orgasm,


I've always found that if I didn't have an orgasm, the girl became very defensive and self-conscious.


_____________________________

all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

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RE: Anyone Ever Get This? A Man Question - 7/17/2008 5:14:29 PM   
variation30


Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline 		bu90m
quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Can you find a happy medium in there somewhere?  Like, don't put yourself quite so deeply into "that mental space", or go for a simple "long" fuck, not a "looooong" fuck?


you never know when you're going to fuck again. as such, I find it's best to go until I start pulling muscles.

and I'm only getting older so I might as well enjoy my vitality while I'm young.


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all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

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