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uninterested5 -> To Search (7/18/2008 9:19:29 AM)


All day long, every single day, I am pissed off. Everything I see gets under my skin, and I'm pelted with exposure to things that irk and bother me like I live in a constant sandstorm. From the truck driver's pain in my lower back that echoes with every step to my full time education, to the job I hate to the people around me all day I need to pretend I have some way of connecting with, I am a square peg in a world of round holes. My blood is usually molten, and I'm sometimes afraid my eyes are hungry enough to collapse rooms with their gravity.

Go to the gym. Watch the weights rise and fall, like the pain in my back, just above my ass. Pain in the ass. Just like everything else. But I take that rage and bury it deep down inside, where it can cool off long enough for me to learn a little about it, or at the least use it to get through the next set. The anger means I'm human; means I'm genuine.

If you're not genuine, you don't give a shit. There are probably some people out there who are genuine and genuinely don't give a shit. But I do, and I have the blood pressure to prove it. In my head there's a blueprint of how everything is supposed to be, a moral compass that sometimes points in directions I don't always understand, but I know I'll ultimately follow anyway. That perfect blueprint is life, and love. The difficulty is finding a reliable contractor.

Plastic fuckin' smirk. I've played this game a couple times before. I laugh, and buy her a drink. I show her that mysterious smile that promises I know that thing about her she goes to bed every night wishing someone knew. Everybody has one of those. You don't need to figure out exactly what it is; odds are she doesn't even know. I don't know where the energy to keep up the charade comes from, probably from the slow fission of that anger I buried earlier breaking down into understanding and bitterness. You can run an engine on that for a while.

There is a point to the facade, though, really. That contractor is out there; that perfect window through which all my ideals, aspirations and longing will shine with a perfect veracity, born not of intimidaion or force, but reflected freely, independently. The true beauty, the end to the hunger. The end of the rage. I'm not sure she knows she exists. I don't even know if I could fathom her if I found her. But she's out there.

I shake my head quickly, imperceptibly, skirting away the half shadows of fancy and returning my attention to the game at hand.

I've waited twenty years. What's a little longer.




CruelDesires -> RE: To Search (7/18/2008 9:25:04 AM)

What it is that why do is no substitute for psychotherapy. Nor will it help with your anger issues. Want me to count the red flags from your post?

**Edited for spelling**

CD




uninterested5 -> RE: To Search (7/18/2008 9:28:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

What it is that why do is not substitute for psychotherapy. Nor will it help with your anger issues. Want me to count the red flags from your post?

CD


If you're going to comment on a story someone wrote, try to do it in the language the story is written in.

Message edited to reflect that criticism above still doesn't make any sense.




CruelDesires -> RE: To Search (7/18/2008 9:37:42 AM)

Ahh. It's a story. Now I understand. *shrugs* [8|]

CD




chamberqueen -> RE: To Search (7/18/2008 10:11:24 AM)

Is it only a story?  Or are you looking for someone to fulfill you enough that the anger will go away?  If that's the case you will never find her.  Women see underlying anger and can see through plastic looks.  It sounds more to me like you are not pleased with your life, or with yourself, and that you could easily lose the small amount of control that you have left. 

I spent 15 years with an angry man, thinking that if only he felt appreciated enough and if I blocked enough annoying obstacles and gave him every single thing that he wanted that his anger would go away.  I walked out the day he graphically described the process he would use to kill me and make it appear to be a suicide.  There is no pleasing someone who is not willing to deal with their anger and do something about it on their own. 




CruelDesires -> RE: To Search (7/18/2008 11:04:03 AM)

Another one of your posts.

quote:

ORIGINAL: uninterested5

Basically guy, the whole truth is that it's a game. People are going to hoot and holler and scream about how it's their stupid lifestyle that they didn't pick and it picked them, but realistically you just need to find a girl who is sexually aroused by feeling oppressed. It's usually either purely sexual, or the girl has some horrible skeleton in her closet that makes her feel like you're all she can get, or she has some complex of needing to feel protected, and thinks that if you care about her enough to call yourself a "Dom" and capitalize the M in Me on a bondage website and handcuff the broad to your bed that you're going to protect and provide for her forever.

As far as whether or not you're a Master or a Dom or a fuckin Padawan, that's all a huge crock of BS that really doesn't matter. Just roll with it and have fun. 


Interesting.

CD




uninterested5 -> RE: To Search (7/18/2008 11:15:01 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: uninterested5

As far as whether or not you're a Master or a Dom or a fuckin Padawan, that's all a huge crock of BS that really doesn't matter. Just roll with it and have fun. 


That's by far the most realistic, intelligent, down-to-Earth thing I've read on this site! Who would have thought, that nobody on this website is really a Master or a Slave, since, get this, it's illegal. It's almost like it's a big bullshit game where people trade pictures that probably aren't even of them with strangers on the internet and end up not meeting 99.9999% of the people they talk to. Food for thought, hope nobody chokes.




wandersalone -> RE: To Search (7/18/2008 11:20:47 AM)

You wrote this in your profile - "If this site is a pointless pissing away of your time and you have no idea why you still have a profile, but log on twice a day anyway, message me, we have something in common.".   Together with your user name I wonder if it is time for you to have a break from here and focus on soemthing that doesn't make your blood boil for a while.




uninterested5 -> RE: To Search (7/18/2008 11:24:06 AM)

Wanders alone? Why don't you go get back to that?




subtee -> RE: To Search (7/18/2008 11:24:22 AM)

Someone needs a hug! Come here, big guy...




Aynne -> RE: To Search (7/18/2008 11:26:46 AM)

Illegal to be a Master or a slave? Interesting..wrong, but interesting. By the way I know many people from here that are very very real and *exactly* whom they profess to be. As well as having met my Master here, and umm he is way real.*yum*.  Lighten up, it's Friday. You are twenty years old for god's sake. Get drunk, get laid, get arrested, do something fun.[:D]


quote:

ORIGINAL: uninterested5


quote:

ORIGINAL: uninterested5

As far as whether or not you're a Master or a Dom or a fuckin Padawan, that's all a huge crock of BS that really doesn't matter. Just roll with it and have fun. 


That's by far the most realistic, intelligent, down-to-Earth thing I've read on this site! Who would have thought, that nobody on this website is really a Master or a Slave, since, get this, it's illegal. It's almost like it's a big bullshit game where people trade pictures that probably aren't even of them with strangers on the internet and end up not meeting 99.9999% of the people they talk to. Food for thought, hope nobody chokes.




Missokyst -> RE: To Search (7/18/2008 11:32:23 AM)

And you might want to think about cutting back on the steroids.  I hear that causes a lot of rage.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne

Lighten up, it's Friday. You are twenty years old for god's sake. Get drunk, get laid, get arrested, do something fun.[:D]





Maya2001 -> RE: To Search (7/18/2008 11:37:13 AM)

I know why I am am here and relatively happy with my choices and the people I have met...

I guess the question should be why do you waste your time here since you think this is just a bunch of BS????

and consentual slavery is not illegal ..if non consenting it is





wandersalone -> RE: To Search (7/18/2008 11:38:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: uninterested5

Wanders alone? Why don't you go get back to that?

hmmmm good question.... maybe I like adding to your ever increasing blood pressure. [:)]




uninterested5 -> RE: To Search (7/18/2008 11:42:23 AM)

Interesting.. wrong, but interesting.

13th Amendment is as follows:

1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.
2. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

"But uninterested5 you idiot I WANT to be a slave!" Come be my slave. My back hurts like a motherfucker and I still have to mow my lawn before class tonight. Come do my yardwork and shit for me. Hell, go punch in at work for me.

"But uninterested you idiot then you wouldn't be POWWAAFULL LIKE A MASTER!" That would be awesome if we could all be slaves to masters who made us do shit we already wanted to do and take care of everything else. Then it's not slavery, it's not mastry, and it's not submission. It's temporary, elective acquiesence.

Constitution > Argumentation skills of people trying to defend their fetish as a real, viable lifestyle.




CruelDesires -> RE: To Search (7/18/2008 11:47:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: uninterested5

Interesting.. wrong, but interesting.

13th Amendment is as follows:

1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.
2. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

"But uninterested5 you idiot I WANT to be a slave!" Come be my slave. My back hurts like a motherfucker and I still have to mow my lawn before class tonight. Come do my yardwork and shit for me. Hell, go punch in at work for me.

"But uninterested you idiot then you wouldn't be POWWAAFULL LIKE A MASTER!" That would be awesome if we could all be slaves to masters who made us do shit we already wanted to do and take care of everything else. Then it's not slavery, it's not mastry, and it's not submission. It's temporary, elective acquiesence.

Constitution > Argumentation skills of people trying to defend their fetish as a real, viable lifestyle.


Key words dude.

Edited> Just read my first response to the thread and realized I must have been on crack from my sentence structure. lol.

CD




faerytattoodgirl -> RE: To Search (7/18/2008 11:49:05 AM)

was there a question/topic some place in this thread?? [8|]




DiurnalVampire -> RE: To Search (7/18/2008 11:55:18 AM)

Consentual slavery is perfectly legal, its consental servitude entered into by 2 consenting people.  Happens every day, for some to pay off debts, for some to learn skills, for others to live the lifestyle.
The story was interesting, a little on the disgruntled side, but thats nothing we havent all felt at some point.
But honestly, if you are just logging on to tell us what we like is wrong/unattainable/immoral... then join the queue. We hear it all the time, and if it hasnt stopped us by now we arent likely to start caring just becasue one more person has come on to say "no, no.. bad"

DV




uninterested5 -> RE: To Search (7/18/2008 11:58:37 AM)

Nah, that's not my style. Just a story I wanted to see how different people react to; who identifies with it, and in what ways. Some guy might read it and say "that sounds just like me," and I would refer that dude to a punching bag, a bottle of scotch, a therapist or all three. Then folks like chamberqueen have an identifying story from the opposite side of the fence. Me and CruelDesires pretty much just argue back and forth about grammar and syntax, which I ought to address now. I agree CD, key words. The fact that they EXPLICITLY DISTINGUISH A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SLAVERY AND INVOLUNTARY SERVITUDE proves that slavery does not necessarily have to be unwilling, yet it is still explicitly prohibited by the Constitution.

How's that for a snag for all you civil libertarians.




Termyn8or -> RE: To Search (7/18/2008 12:52:55 PM)

unin, first go get your hug from subT, then I will continue.

______________________________

Now I am not responding to the 99 posts or whatever in here, I am responding to the OP.

Alot of anger is showing there, and I mean ALOT. And when I say that it means something.

But did you know that anger is one of the few things you truly own ? You think you own anything else ? Hell no. Try not paying your property taxes or renewing the plates on your car for a couple of years and you will learn very quickly what you own, and more importantly what you don't.

Why is it that you own the anger ? Simply because it is you who created it.

Now you put that post out there, and to me that signals that you might just have some doubts about your ability to handle life. You may be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, or however that goes, but this is something different. You might be tough enough on the outside, but you say you need to get tougher on the inside, or something.

Anger, love, greed, fear, hate, all manufactured by the human mind. It is YOUR choice to do it or not, and I can prove it and I am about to.

Ever spar ? If you worked out you probably did. Did you ever have an opponent get in on you, maybe even do a little bit of damage ? At that time you were not pissed off were you ? If in any contest of sport, do you have to hate the opposition ? No. So you don't.

There are alot of people out ther who do not grasp this concept. They might spar and get slapped or kicked in the head fifty times and hold no grudge, maybe even hang around with the opponent, but when they get on the highway to go home somebody cuts them off or something and they wish they had their gun with them.

Where does shit like that come from ? It comes from you.

I don't know if this will pass muster with the mods, but I got alot stronge proof and here it is. You got a kid, a baby, Then he/she stomps your balls really hard. It hurts and it hirts BAD. Are you angry ? No. Every fiber of your being as a Man made you not. But you do not feel the anger. It is not there because you chose for it not to be there. Proof positive.

There are many other examples, say someone runs over your foot in a wheelchair, you think it is time to kick their ass ? That's ridiculous.

So emotion emanates from the person emoting, but never kid yourself, it is a choice. You can always say no. Learn to say no and you will get alot farther in life.

When you get here, you will be seeing peple all over the place reacting, not responding. They are quick to anger and have a desire to get ahead, of everyone else. And they will do it even if they have to hurt you, they do not care at all.

But if you let anger or another emotion take control, you lose.

It is YOUR anger and therefore it is YOUR anger to discard. Discard it.

You can do it and I have proven that. Let's say you are training a puppy. Understand, you DO have control, you just have to know when to use it. Don't let stupid people piss you off, and that is good advice because there are a hell of alot of them out there.

Ultimateley you are in control of all of your feelings. Use that fact and get out of the rut.

T




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