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Experienced in r/t-very new to cyber-seeking advice please - 7/18/2008 1:12:50 PM   
MistressHowl


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/10/2008
Status: offline 		 Greetings to All!!

AHHHH- I think perhaps exactly what I am looking for-some honest opinions
I must ask as I am so new on this cyberline....like one week new
and sincerely will appreciate any and all advice/help I may receive here.
Thank You in advance
.
so am wondering Who will take My cherry and will it be good? lol

I have been answering an amount of emails-rather respectfully and have met M/many VERY wonderful folk and am exchanging pleasantries and ideas. Generally having a wonderful time meeting F/folk and making F/riends. Had one situation where someone was irate as I did not answer their second & third email quickly enough to suit them and so I posted a journal entry explaining how overwhelmed with mail and that if patient a reply to all would be forthcoming….fine

But now a second situation has arisen…I rcvd a rather pushy msg 1st suggesting much not proper between total strangers and replied that as W/we are strangers such as he suggested was not proper and some protocol is to be followed. I immediately rcvd a second email-again not as respectful as I would have liked and still suggesting/pushing such activities as meeting at a hotel for various play, Queening etc.

Well, I must admit I lost My temper and bitched him out!! Yes, rather severely as I was quite annoyed.
Apparently this offended him greatly!! Imagine??!!
He told Me so and none too kindly

So My final reply…

ahhhh but I thought this realm required such procedures. and you specifically said you would not continue the transgression then contradicted yourself, xxxxx.

many here thrive on just such abuse and if you are not one of such...that is fine...do not take it so personally.....for W/we are running deeply on the dark side here...and I thought it particularly well done...

however if this is not your wish...so be it......
may you find whatever happiness you seek....
MH

did I severely misstep? is not arrogance and abuse My (Our) Right as a Dominae? Must I baby the arrogant and treat them w/kid gloves or is what I did to be expected from Some such as Ourselves??  I mean, W/we are not afterall on Myspace or some such site but on CollarMe where in My opinion this is not such a faux pas...Please give Me your honest opinion here. All advice will be greatly appreciated!!I would hate to lose faith in Myself or feel obliged to hold My tongue here-pehaps in future I should simply refrain from replying at all? oh but to think of the fun I will miss....and did I not attempt to kindly rectify his little ego?

I am afraid I may be reported to the 'Bad Dom/Domme' list LOL
and am also wondering what One does or how One earns those paddles, etc.

also, FYI- I am also posting this on the Ask a submissive board to get an array of well  balanced opinions on both sides. Is this another Faux Pas? hmmmm

Wondering,
Mistress Howl
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Experienced in r/t-very new to cyber-seeking advice... - 7/18/2008 1:46:50 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Welcome to the boards Ma`am..... Why act differently online, than You would wish to offline ?  Its Your life, Your time, Your call. If You are not true to Yourself than any interactions online will become a chore and not a pleasure.

(in reply to MistressHowl)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Experienced in r/t-very new to cyber-seeking advice... - 7/18/2008 1:50:39 PM   
MizSexyVixen


Posts: 137
Joined: 6/6/2008
Status: offline 		The fact that someone messages me does NOT make me obligated to reply. Ever. Often I do, even if it is to say "not interested."

Learn how to use the ignore, delete, block functions.

_____________________________

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I was aiming for your balls.

check out my updated web site with five pages of photos

www.MizVixen.com

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Experienced in r/t-very new to cyber-seeking advice... - 7/18/2008 1:59:11 PM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		You get the paddles by number of posts 1-24 is the cone 24-100 are an ammount of the bdsm yinyang symbol 101-999 i believe are hand cuffs and 1000 and on i believe are the paddles, not 100 percent sure though.

_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to MizSexyVixen)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Experienced in r/t-very new to cyber-seeking advice... - 7/18/2008 2:15:27 PM   
houseboy001


Posts: 29
Joined: 6/20/2008
Status: offline 		Welcome  Mistress Howl:  Welcome to the 'boards' and also to CM!!!   Nice having You here and thank You for sharing!!

I agree with 'politesub53' it is all about You!!!   Please do not feel as if You have to take verbal abuse from anyone here.  For the most part everyone here is very nice (am basically new here myself) and willing to help!!

You will find many subs who are polite and willing to communicate with You in a Safe, Sane and Consensual manner.

Thank You again for posting. 

(in reply to hopelessfool)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Experienced in r/t-very new to cyber-seeking advice... - 7/18/2008 2:17:32 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		First, MH, I'd like to welcome you.  I hope you will enjoy your time here

As to your question, I'm afraid I will have to disagree with you.  No, it is not our right as Dominant females to deal in arrogance and abuse.  While you are right that some submissives will want that type of approach, I find them to be in the minority.  Abuse is another subject entirely, than domination.

I hope you will not misunderstand.  I don't exactly use the "kid glove" approach either.  This certainly true when it comes to arrogance, especially when displayed by people I don't know from Adam.  This isn't MySpace by any means, though this site has what I believe are similar features.  Always makes Me laugh when people send Me 'friend" requests here when I've never even spoken to them.  I find the concept rather silly for people to be "friends" when they have never even had a communication, be it through the boards or by email.  It's one of the reasons I keep My list rather short, and apply it only to people that I would actually associate with away from a screen.

Earing the cute little paddles, and other symbols, come directly from your post count to the message boards.  The more you post, the better the symbols get.

Asking the same question on two different boards will generally get one of them pulled by the moderators.  If you want to ask something and get the perspectives from both sides of the kneel, it's usually a good idea to post it either to the general discussion board, or, put it on both boards, but rephrase the question for each particular board, to avoid one of them being squashed.

Again, welcome.  I look forward to you joining us here in many discussions.




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Experienced in r/t-very new to cyber-seeking advice... - 7/19/2008 1:00:27 AM   
MistressHowl


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/10/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you Lady Pact,
and I would like to clarify....My first rule in Life is Do No Harm
I do not normally treat A/any with the attitude I blasted this one with!! I believe in courtesy and Respect for A/all.....and when requested to treat one rudelly/roughly, I make quite sure it is their true desire.
But when One is not treated with Respect, or worse, with such disrespect, well-gloves are off! I was told when younger regarding dealing with bullies-When one pushes you, do not push back-knock them down, hard, instead. Cuts off all future BS, immediately.
and it somewhat irks me that he was rude and yet I apologized??!!
but he has not opened it (to spite me?) and I am glad

I have met so many fun, interesting, kind, intelligent and witty people!!
Thank you for helping me develop a better understanding of CM.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Experienced in r/t-very new to cyber-seeking advice... - 7/19/2008 1:07:41 AM   
MistressHowl


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/10/2008
Status: offline 		Yes, thanks I will-
I am prone to common courtesy also

and lol I love your signature line

(in reply to MizSexyVixen)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Experienced in r/t-very new to cyber-seeking advice... - 7/19/2008 1:16:03 AM   
MistressHowl


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/10/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you for your friendliness. I am finding it MUCH different online than real time, where a face can be read or a look can do so much. Tho you are correct-I give and request Respect to and from All and do not need to suffer this fool or any other.

(in reply to MizSexyVixen)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Experienced in r/t-very new to cyber-seeking advice... - 7/19/2008 1:25:10 AM   
MistressHowl


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/10/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you for breaking it down for me so nicely. Who knows how long it would've taken me to figure it out?

(in reply to hopelessfool)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Experienced in r/t-very new to cyber-seeking advice... - 7/19/2008 1:37:15 AM   
MistressHowl


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/10/2008
Status: offline 		I appreciate your comments and find my short time here much the same as yours-great people all around

questions come to mind
should I have hit 'fast reply' to answer all here instead of each individually? I had thought each reply would post under the one I was replying to-but I see them all stacked at the bottom! to earn a post means starting the topic?
or simply answering one as you all have been so kind to do?
I feel like such a dunce....

(in reply to houseboy001)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Experienced in r/t-very new to cyber-seeking advice... - 7/19/2008 3:23:16 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		May I ask why someone who has done this in real life would choose to dip into the cyber affectation of ds?
Kyst

(in reply to MistressHowl)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Experienced in r/t-very new to cyber-seeking advice... - 7/19/2008 9:16:06 AM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		Quick note, you get your first paddle at 500, but who's counting? O.o
*swings my new paddle around wildly, clearly still novice*

MistressHowl,

You have the choice to do as you please.  You can ignore, block, delete, or reply rudely to email as you see fit.  Sometimes it's called for.  As I understand it, females of every type are overwhelmed by letters here, particularly if they use the chatrooms or boards. 

Your "ruthless" reply was quite tame and civil, really.  Sometimes it takes a firm hand. Besides, anyone who is brash enough to open a letter to a stranger with a plea for someone to slap them around can surely take some verbal abuse.

One word about online protocol, though... Some people use strict guidelines for it, some people completely disregard it.  Some people, like myself, use a muddled form.  Don't be so quick to assume someone is disrespectful because they don't capitalize "y" in "You".  Maybe they need the firm hand of an online domme to teach them that sort of thing?

When I was doing a lot of business by email I drafted up general replies after I saw I kept getting the same questions, it saved me a lot of time while allowing me to answer each email.

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to MistressHowl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Experienced in r/t-very new to cyber-seeking advice... - 7/19/2008 10:04:37 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressHowl
I was told when younger regarding dealing with bullies-When one pushes you, do not push back-knock them down, hard, instead. Cuts off all future BS, immediately.

The situation is kinda different in cyberland.  There's no public playground where all the other kids watch and say, "Oooh, don't mess with her."  It's a private email.  Guys with limited social skills develop tremendous frustration because dommes don't answer their emails -- or go out with them in real.  They discover that if they send out a message that is really slimy  (often using the word "fat") that they get responses more often than if they try to be nice.

By writing that guy back, in that fashion, you were topping him for free.

You might be ok with that; I don't care.  My point is: you owe him nothing, so do what you can live with most easily.

And PS: it's pretty easy to read email without it showing up as "Read."


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to MistressHowl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Experienced in r/t-very new to cyber-seeking advice... - 7/19/2008 11:10:14 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Really?  How?
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1


And PS: it's pretty easy to read email without it showing up as "Read."


(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Experienced in r/t-very new to cyber-seeking advice... - 7/19/2008 11:28:07 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Not in public, sorry.  If people want to learn lameass cybergames, they can do it on their own time.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Experienced in r/t-very new to cyber-seeking advice... - 7/19/2008 2:33:20 PM   
MistressHowl


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/10/2008
Status: offline 		to answer Missokyst-I came to CM to find a friend from another state whom  I had lost touch with, but remembered she had a profile here and also remembered roughly, her username. but when I found her I wasnt allowed to msg her without an account of my own, so........also, I had a rather severe accident last year while working with some rescue horses and couldnt even feed myself or brush my hair...which certainly curtailed my real time sessions for quite a while. excepting of course having a fav pet around to help me with such...all better now TG and happily havent lost much in either endurance or accuracy!

And congrats on your new paddle HeavansKeeper!! but THAT written above was not my 'ruthless' reply! oh my no! lol that was my idiot self aplogizing to him-just saw he deleted that unread for which i am thankful. he doesnt deserve it...and it was not simple capitalization that offended me...I do rqst that from subs but only because if they can not handle such a simple rqst they may have issue with some others that may possibly follow. If you would like to see the scolding feel free to drop me a line and I will happily show it to you - It was his blatent disrespect which made me feel he may indeed have been looking for such abuse.

Much thanks for all - and I am slowly branching out and learning this cyber-sphere. It is so different from 'hands-on' where there are looks, gestures  and....ummmm, implements of destruction, but enables me to be in contact with so many new and interesting people and ideas

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Experienced in r/t-very new to cyber-seeking advice... - 7/20/2008 7:57:23 AM   
bobipanti


Posts: 87
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline 		The men/people who send You such e-mails are those with whom You would have no time for in real life. If a person misbehaves with cyber life, one can see the faults in their character in the vanilla world. 

(in reply to MistressHowl)
Profile   Post #: 18
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