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What about "ad-mail?" - 11/14/2005 11:25:25 AM   
ginawithaB


Posts: 141
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		I'm fairly new here, joined CM in September. Since then have been on the receiving end of a good amount of what I call "ad-mail." My question: Why do doms here use this method of contact? (Yes, I'm aware it isn't only doms who do this, but it's doms I'm interested in.) It's akin to junk mail, which most people instantly toss into the recycle bin, or spam which we automatically delete. I've seen several doms posting on this board as well as on "ask a sub/slave" complaining about emails sent that go unanswered and many times someone will respond stating that women on CM average anywhere from 20-100 emails a day. That being the case, if in fact that stat is correct, why does this "ad-mail" phenomenon continue? It seems to be an exercise in futility. Wouldn't it be more time-effective for doms to engage in more directed, personalized, results-oriented searches?

Please help, I'm truly trying to understand. Thanks.

gina
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What about "ad-mail?" - 11/14/2005 11:44:59 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It gives them a reason to start threads complaining about people not responding to their emails.

On average we get 2 new threads per week about people questioning/wondering about the emails they get/emails they don't get.

(in reply to ginawithaB)
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RE: What about "ad-mail?" - 11/14/2005 11:47:06 AM   
Kyami


Posts: 32
Joined: 11/14/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		From my perspective, the 'ad-mail' is nothing more than junk sent out by men/women who are not really concerned about WHO they meet, as long as they just meet someone. Those who are seriously searching, take the time to write a more personalized e-mail; one that they hope will catch your attention.

_____________________________

"You may be suffering; but you are suffering with love"

(in reply to ginawithaB)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What about "ad-mail?" - 11/14/2005 11:56:22 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Perhaps we get so many treads aboute this becouse this is a real problem?

(in reply to Kyami)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: What about "ad-mail?" - 11/14/2005 11:59:29 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nephandi

Perhaps we get so many treads aboute this becouse this is a real problem?

But it's not a problem, it's even less of a problem than junk mail in your physical mailbox because we don't have to worry about all the trash and wasted resources it causes.

You click, you delete, you move on.

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What about "ad-mail?" - 11/14/2005 12:02:03 PM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		i think that the problems this caused for the possibility of making contact is the problem, not the actual resiving of the mails.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What about "ad-mail?" - 11/14/2005 12:12:23 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nephandi
i think that the problems this caused for the possibility of making contact is the problem, not the actual resiving of the mails.

Why is possibly of making contact a problem?

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What about "ad-mail?" - 11/14/2005 12:26:00 PM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		well if there is so mutch just mail perhaps good mail get lost in the mass of junk and you never meet some of the nice pepole that have taken time to write nice letters to you.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What about "ad-mail?" - 11/14/2005 12:49:44 PM   
obis


Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ginawithaB
That being the case, if in fact that stat is correct, why does this "ad-mail" phenomenon continue? It seems to be an exercise in futility. Wouldn't it be more time-effective for doms to engage in more directed, personalized, results-oriented searches?


Because the ones who send out the ad-mail aren't the sincere doms you're looking for. It's the same as spam in your email box, do you think someone selling herbal viagra cares if he is making it more difficult for you to get messages from your friends and family? Of course not, he just wants to reach that 1% of people stupid enough to fall for his message. Same thing here -- a sincere person who sends out one or two messages a week will be completely drowned out by a spammer who sends out 100 generic messages a day.

We just have to trust that even someone new and inexperienced is at least sensible enough to see the two different groups for what they are and quickly delete the spammers. But truthfully, I have little doubt that some decent percentage of new members here just get overwhelmed by junk and quit because they think nobody is sincere, which is a shame. Possibly CM could put a limit to how many new people you can message in a given time period, though then you'd be opening the floodgates to people making multiple profiles to get around the rule.

(in reply to ginawithaB)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What about "ad-mail?" - 11/14/2005 5:09:20 PM   
ginawithaB


Posts: 141
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		Well, of course you can't tell that something is ad-mail until you open it, unlike spam, which you can spot a mile away. By the time you've opened the 20th ad-mail, who would want to continue? Especially when some of them are so rude and obnoxious it's incomprehensible.

But the thing is I'm preaching to the choir, here...this is a no-brainer, I would think, to most folks who post here. I don't expect the offending parties to have the time to frequent the message boards. Ad-mailing takes so much time, I'm sure.

But thanx for the feedback, folks.

(Still, I wish I could understand the rampant lack of manners in this society. Kinky does not have to mean devoid of basic social graces. Maybe that's the real topic here.)

(in reply to obis)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What about "ad-mail?" - 11/14/2005 5:11:47 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Life is life. The scene is no different than the vanilla world.

(in reply to ginawithaB)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What about "ad-mail?" - 11/14/2005 5:43:15 PM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Well that is true LuckyAlbatross, god it is hard to remember your new name when i have known you as Emerlad for so long, i am hopless at names, anyway, yes it is true this lifestyle is just as good as bad as the vanilla world, but one could hope could one not of how it should be.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What about "ad-mail?" - 11/14/2005 6:52:19 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		You'll always be ES to me:

quote:

Life is life. The scene is no different than the vanilla world.


Amen. And we say something like this, in one form or another every week.


(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What about "ad-mail?" - 11/14/2005 8:26:42 PM   
Wolfie648


Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

That being the case, if in fact that stat is correct, why does this "ad-mail" phenomenon continue? It seems to be an exercise in futility. Wouldn't it be more time-effective for doms to engage in more directed, personalized, results-oriented searches?


Many people are taught that repeating a close will make the sale. On average it takes 5 attempts to close. They are playing a numbers game or some other type of game and get enough respondents to justify it for themselves. Maybe their game is simply to irritate people off CM.

Who knows? /shrug

D (owner of j)

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to ginawithaB)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What about "ad-mail?" - 11/14/2005 8:59:39 PM   
ginawithaB


Posts: 141
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Life is life. The scene is no different than the vanilla world.


Of course. That goes without saying. What I am dismayed about is an overall lack of manners, lack of being able to/desiring to/ or even being cognizant that one should attempt to be mindful of others. This is a societal problem, it's not just within the kink community. Far too often we walk around as if we are all tiny entities totally unto ourselves. But the opposite is the truth - that is that we are all interdependent...we cannot survive and we certainly cannot thrive without each other. And perhaps I should explain that part of my own issue, personally, is the fact that I am a highly sensitive person...we make up about 20% of the population. It is plainly and simply crazy-making for me, and many others like me and even those who are not highly sensitive, to be bombarded daily by folks who otherwise don't have a clue or a care as to how they are affecting others.

I don't expect to change the world by posting here. I needed to vent, voice a serious concern and to try to really understand how these ad-mailers think.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What about "ad-mail?" - 11/14/2005 9:09:06 PM   
ginawithaB


Posts: 141
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolfie648

Many people are taught that repeating a close will make the sale. On average it takes 5 attempts to close. They are playing a numbers game or some other type of game and get enough respondents to justify it for themselves. Maybe their game is simply to irritate people off CM.

Who knows? /shrug

D (owner of j)


Yes, obis talked about the numbers game as well. Guess that's the bottom line. Sad, though, that meeting people gets boiled down to that.

And btw, absolutely love your sword (assuming that's you in the pic). How long did that take?

(in reply to Wolfie648)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What about "ad-mail?" - 11/15/2005 6:06:35 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ginawithaB
I don't expect to change the world by posting here. I needed to vent, voice a serious concern and to try to really understand how these ad-mailers think.

I'm sure we've all been rude and insensitive to people at some point in our lives.

I think the great great vast majority of people think they are fairly polite and try to be so in daily life.

I think the best thing to do is simply be a great example of ourselves. I don't think this particular issue is a serious concern- it's a normal spread of cyber culture.

(in reply to ginawithaB)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What about "ad-mail?" - 11/15/2005 6:55:17 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Yes it is a normal problem, and not a big one either, but that do not mean that it is not a problem and dont merit discussion.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What about "ad-mail?" - 11/15/2005 6:58:24 AM   
HeavenlyCeleste


Posts: 82
Joined: 9/12/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with Kyami...it's just a matter of do you want someone or do you want anyone!

(in reply to ginawithaB)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What about "ad-mail?" - 11/15/2005 6:59:21 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nephandi
Yes it is a normal problem, and not a big one either, but that do not mean that it is not a problem and dont merit discussion.

Which problem? The problem of people getting tons of crap in their email boxes? Or the problem of people sending spam?

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 20
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