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RE: Masters in WheelChairs - 7/21/2008 5:08:37 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		People do treat you differently when you are different from them.  I get it all the time.  The thing that gets me through is that I am happy inside and with myself and I try to think outside the box and positive.  Do I get lonely or tired of being alone?  Sure... I have those moments or days even, but I know that one day someone will 'see' me and then life might be a bit more full or a bit more fun.  But, it also means that we could not get along or life could throw more at us or I simply don't wake up tomorrow or do and it's with a stroke.

It is a little hard to take when people reject you all the time and it is hard to take when they don't even bother to reject you with anything more than ignoring you.  But you cannot let it get to you.  You must find ways to be happy inside and find some life in the life and situation you have.  I would recommend support sites where you can meet others who may be in a similar situation.  Laugh... laughter is the very best tool besides self that you can have.

I do wish you well in your search... but hope that you will see that you must try to remain positive and I am not talking that modern pop head stuff.  I am talking that rich positive that comes from a happy soul and when you are then laughing... other's will be laughing with you too because you are a brightness in their lives... rather than a dark and sad soul.  Try making your profile less of a 'why and a complaint' and go with happy... draw people to you with your sparkle.  You have it in you... just dig it up and bring it out... I am sure many would like to see it.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Masters in WheelChairs - 7/21/2008 6:06:20 PM   
msprudence


Posts: 112
Joined: 7/3/2008
Status: offline 		You type something on your profile: (I'm paraphrasing):  I want to control your body because I can't control mine.

Now here is the thing: the person who lets you do this for that reason will do so out of pity.  To give you something you have lost. Subs do not want to pity their Dom.  They want to respect and love their Dom.  Subs also tend to want physical sensations.  You can't spank them.  You can't put them in bondage.  You have only your words to show that you can lead.  Use them well.  Take a moment to get the place of control that you want to be in.  Write your profile, and your replies to subs, from THAT place.

You may find it better to seek out a switch, or a kinky partner rather than a sub. 


(in reply to DesertEagle44)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Masters in WheelChairs - 7/21/2008 6:10:12 PM   
DesertEagle44


Posts: 11
Joined: 1/22/2008
From: Alta Loma
Status: offline 		the only thing sexual thingi have to offer that i know is my tongue, i use it all day long. i  drive my wheelchair with it, use to work my computer all day long. i would say my tongueis stronger then most.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Masters in WheelChairs - 7/21/2008 6:44:14 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		methinks Lady Pact didn't mean sexual offerings....

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to DesertEagle44)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Masters in WheelChairs - 7/21/2008 8:38:30 PM   
ebonysweet


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/13/2007
Status: offline 		I wish that i could say the right thing to this without offending but i am going to give it a shot anyways.

I went out with someone that was confined to a wheelchair and i was captivated by his dominant personality.  I had some of the best times of my sex life by his talking dirty to me in spanish while pinching my nipple (yes, TMI right there, i know).  I thought he was sexy and amazing and will remember him for the rest of my life.  And we actually never had sex at all and i thought and still think he was one of the most sexually pleasing men i had ever been with.  Yes, with words alone, sitting in a quiet corner of a coffee shop, he did delicious and wonderful things.

My point is this, not all women will be turned off by your being in a wheelchair but finding the woman, the submissive that is okay with it will not be easy.  I just wanted to say that there are women like myself out there and don't for a minute believe that there's not.  It's not that You haven't found the right submissive, You apparently just haven't found the right woman yet. 

_____________________________

KS's "queen of bad subs" and happily so!!

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Masters in WheelChairs - 7/21/2008 8:56:19 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		One of my friends who came to my birthday party/CM meet & greet is in a wheelchair.  He drives a special van, but is very dependent on his chair as his legs do not work for him.  He has the most awesome personality and lots of us girls just love flirting and hanging out with him.  He even asked Daddy for a special spot near the spanking bench when I was getting my booty whacked so he could have the best vantage point.  Daddy made sure he could see perfectly, and we never really thought about his chair as much as his sense of humor.

I wish you the best in finding the girl who will be a perfect match for you. 

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Masters in WheelChairs - 7/22/2008 10:55:33 AM   
skimpytacowoman


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/19/2008
From: Fayetteville, NC
Status: offline 		I could never date, marry, or even submit to someone that was severely handicapped simply because I am not interested in being a care taker. If something happened to my husband and I had to take care of him, I would already love and care for him enough to want to make his life better. But starting out with a severly handicapped person? I just couldn't handle that. I don't think that makes me shallow. I think it's me being realistic about my personal limits and what I want out of my life.

_____________________________

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Masters in WheelChairs - 7/22/2008 11:32:08 AM   
apiercedkitty


Posts: 569
Joined: 2/22/2007
From: Michigan
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertEagle44

i have been on collerme off and on for 3-4 years. no women want a Quadriplegic in a wheelchair for a master, why not. if you know what a Quadriplegic is you know why.  Why are wonen afferaid/ scard of masters in wheelchairs? all i really have are my words but that is not enuff  for most people (women).  why is this?   quads are people to

thomas


i have to agree with the people who have suggested trying online first. i found the BDSM world thru the Yahoo message boards of all places. "Met" a Dom there... we chatted on the boards... it eventually moved to private email... and i fell completely and totally in love with Him. (i know - lots of people find that hard to believe). It wasn't until things got serious enough for Him to want to meet me in person that He (very reluctantly) explained that He had a couple of disabilities. #1. He was unable to speak and #2. He was sometimes confined to a wheelchair. You know what? i couldn't have cared less about either of those things as i had fallen in love with who He was on the inside.
So, try the online thing with maybe less than 100% honesty to start and see where that gets You. You might be surprised. At the very least, would it be worse than feeling like You do now?


_____________________________

normal is a setting on a washing machine...

(in reply to DesertEagle44)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Masters in WheelChairs - 7/22/2008 3:43:12 PM   
Daes


Posts: 246
Joined: 4/20/2007
From: Diamond Bar, SoCal
Status: offline 		In all honesty, there are many reasons why I would not get involved. In my opinion having a partner that has any sort of disability that requires caretaking is a Huge load of responsibility. I would have to Love Him wholly in order to make that kind of commitment. Then there are needs, yes needs, that cannot be fullfilled simply due to circumstances, and I can see myself being unhappy long term in a relationship. Along with the responsibility and commitment, there would be a sense of obligation if the relationship wasnt working out, Id still feel responsible for taking care of this person regardless of the situation.

It is the load of commitment and responsibility that I think would keep someone at bay. To have a partner in that condition can emotionally taxing.

I hope I don't come off as offensive either, its just my opinion of why I dont think that kind of situation would work for me.On a friendly basis, there is no problem. Id be more than willing to help where I can, but I wouldnt be able to let myself become more attached than that. Its a self preservation thing...


< Message edited by Daes -- 7/22/2008 3:51:12 PM >

_____________________________

~*Estrellita*~
I want to be in surrender of His strength, of His power. Alone, I am nothing, but in His arms I am all things...

~His puppy~

(in reply to DesertEagle44)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Masters in WheelChairs - 7/27/2008 5:00:25 AM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline 		Although my Sir is not in a wheelchair, He has a chronic illness which means He is considered physically disabled.  He told me all about that illness when we met (online) - He was upfront and honest and wanted me to know what I was getting into if I considered taking up a life with Him.

Yes I am His full time caretaker.  But I'm also His wife, lover and submissive.  If I had let the illness scare me away, I would have missed out on so much.  I have learned what it's like to love and be loved, for me.  As Daes said, it can be emotionally taxing and stressful and frustrating, but it is also very rewarding.  I have learned so much in the time we've been together. 

I do realise that some people are not cut out to be with someone who is disabled.  Kudos to you who have realised this about yourselves, as it is not an easy road to be on.  However, I also urge you to at least keep an open mind - some of the best people have disabilities

_____________________________

Collared sub and married to Nevershyau

(in reply to Daes)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Masters in WheelChairs - 7/27/2008 6:02:03 AM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline 		The challenge of mobility has no limitations.
http://storybridge.tv/episode/029
http://www.mapsofworld.com/olympics/para-olympics.html
 
The challenge of sexuality has many limitations.
The challenge of authority/control/power exchange also has limitations.

Even tho your profile, DesertEagle, demonstrates intelligence and articulateness (even a word?), your search for a pet is going to take longer than most people who search.  No one finds a good match right off and many of us go a lifetime without finding someone. 

(in reply to Rayne58)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Masters in WheelChairs - 7/27/2008 6:07:34 AM   
natasha66


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline 		Attitude is everything, in my opinion.  I was born with spina bifida, but if I had decided to let that fact rule my life, I would be cynical, bitter, and probably really unhappy.  Yes I have my bad, in-pain-don't-want-to-get-out-of-bed days.  We all do.  Everyone on this earth has SOME limitations.  You can either chose to accept what cards you are dealt in life and move on from there, or stay stuck.  Life is what you make it, and right now, mine is pretty damn good! 

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.



(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Masters in WheelChairs - 7/27/2008 5:25:09 PM   
raveonette


Posts: 34
Joined: 7/13/2008
Status: offline 		Really great advice here. The thing is- it's hard for EVERYBODY to find somebody they're compatible with, even people without health problems. Unfortunately, being different from the general public makes it even harder. Even people with good hearts and intentions might be afraid of what a relationship would entail- that goes double (or more) with someone who would be dominating them. Sexuality is usually a big part as well, and that might also affect your search.

However, it's never hopeless and it's awesome you're still out there and looking. I'd suggest injecting as much personality as possible into your profile, which will attract the smart and interesting ones. :) It might also help if you add a few more details about your situation into your profile- what you would need help with and possibly how sexuality fits into your life (if that isn't too personal for you.) I think a bit of education would come a long way in helping. Best of luck!

(in reply to natasha66)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Masters in WheelChairs - 7/29/2008 3:31:01 AM   
sirandsub1326


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/12/2008
Status: offline 		hello deserteagel. i too am disabled but (touch wood) am not in a wheekchair yet. its a sad world out there, where have all the true values of life gone. we are no different to "normal" people. i count myself lucky - i have a bril personalitiy, im fun and wats more im me. if u dont like - move on xx

(in reply to DesertEagle44)
Profile   Post #: 34
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