What is important to remember as a sub/slave

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What is important to remember as a sub/slave - 7/20/2008 4:36:12 PM

michelle1227

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What are the most important rules to remember as a sub or slave. I am new and wish to please.

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RE: What is important to remember as a sub/slave - 7/20/2008 4:42:48 PM

sambamanslilgirl

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Daddy and i only one rule between us: to thine ownself, be true.

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RE: What is important to remember as a sub/slave - 7/20/2008 4:45:29 PM

hopelessfool

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Dont forget your common sense... If it seems like a bad idea, It probably is...
You Do not have to do anything against your limits or against your comfort level if you dont want to. No it doesnt make you a bad submissive no, It doesnt make you a fake submissive.

If you wouldnt accept it in a vanilla relationship, Ie your parner being with other women, or hitting you for no reason.... dont accept it here.

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RE: What is important to remember as a sub/slave - 7/20/2008 4:45:46 PM

decstorm37

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The rules depend on the couple. What you as two adults sit down and talk about. What works for one couple may not work for another.

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You do not appreciate the value of something until you lose it!!!! MASAI saying

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RE: What is important to remember as a sub/slave - 7/20/2008 4:47:06 PM

angelspassion4u

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That you are a person, first and foremost, and to always be true to yourself.

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RE: What is important to remember as a sub/slave - 7/20/2008 4:48:14 PM

DiurnalVampire

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Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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The rules that are important to rmember are the ones your Dominant gives you. Nothing that anyone else tells you are important as a sub/slave. Obviously, as a person there are certain rules that should be followed... dont let anyone nonconsentually harm you, keep your common sense about you and dont put yourself into dangerous positions if you arent willing to pay the consequences.
Anything else needs to come from the D that you are with. If Fox or Angel followed someone else's most important rules, they wouldnt be serving me to the best of their abilities.

DV

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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
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RE: What is important to remember as a sub/slave - 7/20/2008 5:18:21 PM

faerytattoodgirl

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a sub always tastes better with the special sauce.

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RE: What is important to remember as a sub/slave - 7/20/2008 5:34:22 PM

leadership527

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I'll bite. For a new sub, I'd strongly recommend...

Don't give away your own submission.

In other words, hang onto the idea that this is you, your life, your choice to submit (and maybe unsubmit again), your goals, your needs, your desires. In my opinion, if you hang onto yourself and your own choices throughout, then submission can be very empowering. If, on the other hand, you lose sight of that, it can become very disempowering.

In the end, this exploration is YOUR exploration about YOU.

For bonus points, I'll toss in...

Don't give the dom a lot of slack.

I say this only because subs (moste especially newer subs) seem to be inclined to make some really poor decisions and don't look at their doms anywhere near critically enough. Your Dom needs to be adequate to whatever goal he has set. If he wants to be a Master in a Master/slave relationship, then he'd damned well better be a rather unique human being. If he just wants to top you in a kinky scene, then way less is required. If your vibes tell you that the dom is trying to get more out of the relationship than he is putting into it, then they're probably right.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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RE: What is important to remember as a sub/slave - 7/20/2008 7:23:48 PM

chamberqueen

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Trust is something that needs to be earned, and good communication is of the utmost importance. Remember that BOTH of you need to find fulfillment.

The more you learn about your top the better you can serve them. At the same time you will need to feel free to express your own needs, reactions, and emotions.

Keep in mind that no one is perfect - neither the top nor the bottom - and like any relationship it will take work.

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RE: What is important to remember as a sub/slave - 7/20/2008 8:19:35 PM

Lashra

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I told my sub "Protect yourself always, even if from me". I've heard of too many subs allowing themselves to into bad situations because they put their own safety on the back burner all in the name of being the "perfect" sub/slave. Yes we play risky games, KNOW who you are playing with and who you can trust.

~Lashra

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RE: What is important to remember as a sub/slave - 7/20/2008 10:44:16 PM

HarryVanWinkle

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quote:

ORIGINAL: michelle1227
What are the most important rules to remember as a sub or slave. I am new and wish to please.

Rules? There ain't no rules in a knife fight!

But seriously, the most important rule is don't accept any BS somebody online gives you about there being rules.

(in reply to michelle1227)

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RE: What is important to remember as a sub/slave - 7/21/2008 2:03:54 AM

julietsierra

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know yourself. If you don't know, take the time to find out.

juliet

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RE: What is important to remember as a sub/slave - 7/21/2008 2:30:58 AM

RCdc

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To be true to yourself and that you cannot please all the people all the time.

the.dark.

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RE: What is important to remember as a sub/slave - 7/21/2008 2:53:35 AM

XaviersXian

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From: Australia
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greetings to the OP,

Ask your Dom/Master the same thing you are asking us. He is the only one you need to please.

If you are unowned, find out firstly, what sort of person you are, and secondly, what sort of approach "calls" to you. Realise that as your journey goes along, you may change the way you think (the thing that really made you happy at the beginning of your journey may not necessarily make you happy a year down the track). You may need different things at different times (and there is nothing wrong with that!). There is no "absolute way" to live an alternative lifestyle (unless you find that Gor is to your liking, and then you are bound by certain philosophies, protocols and rules that the people who believe in the philosophies expect you to follow).

If you need anything else, please feel free to cmail me!

well wishes,

(in reply to RCdc)

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RE: What is important to remember as a sub/slave - 7/21/2008 3:11:16 AM

robertolapiedra

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Hello michelle1227.

1- Consent. Do not consent to please (be pleasing). Consent so you can find your own pleasure in pleasing.
2- Learn how to make a decent cup of coffee. (sometimes this is number 1-...)
3- Try to have fun even if you do have a ''heavy protocol'' style dynamic (''especially'' if this is your kink!)
4- Only do stuff you understand (very pleasant and pleasing). Common sense.

Just remember to be yourself and not start acting like a character from a novel or something... RL.

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RE: What is important to remember as a sub/slave - 7/21/2008 6:11:38 AM

eyesopened

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You've gotten excellent advice so far. The only thing I would add is to never promise what you can't deliver. Don't agree to what you don't understand, it's okay to ask for clarification. Also, know that being pleasing is different than doing something to please. (A flower arrangement is pleasing without doing anything.)

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RE: What is important to remember as a sub/slave - 7/21/2008 6:43:57 AM

barelynangel

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To the OP: I will speak to what i tell women who want to be slaves -- i can't speak as to subs sorry. I will also say here to me slave is a mastery-need orientation not a service or to please-need orientation. Its between a Man and a woman, not a woman and the how tos from others outside the relationship. Which is where the below comes from. Take from it what you will.

Slavery to me is a concept of reaction not action, its a concept that needs a catalyst -- the Man. It takes the mastery and enslavement of a Man to be held in slavery. If you have a Master who has made you a slave, then your focus and how you are held in slavery will come from him look to him for your answers because of who he is and his beliefs and understandings of not only himself but his interaction with others and the world around him.

If you are looking to be a slave, my advice is follow your instincts and reactions to Men -- not protocols or ways that appear to be the correct way to act like a slave, but instead how you react to them - inside instinctivly. These reactions will guide you but more importantly a Man will see these reactions to him as a Man and usually a Master of women will know what to do with you as a woman with these reactions. This doesn't mean you won't have your common sense but even red flags are instincts you should listen too. Listen to your reactions and instincts. A Man will inspect you for your potential as a slave to him, he won't look at how "good" you can "act" or "mimic" what you believe a slave looks like, he will look to see if you have potential value to BE a slave to him because he knows who he is.

All in all, have fun getting to know Men, really be aware of yourself as a woman when interacting with them and feel more so than think and trust that with Men you will do what is most comfortable for you to do because of who they are -- either kneel as a slave to them, or not.

Whatever you do, since you are new, in my opinion, is listen to your body, your reactions, your needs, and desires..... rarely will they steer you wrong unless you try and control their meaning by thinking and directing. Slave is not a thinking thang its a reaction thang.

I do not and cannot speak for others, this is simply my advice to you with regard to slave only. Many will disagree, some will not, others will simply shrug and move on.

angel

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

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RE: What is important to remember as a sub/slave - 7/21/2008 7:36:13 AM

daddysliloneds

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there are no rules and you 'can't please everyone, but you got to please yourself'.

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RE: What is important to remember as a sub/slave - 7/21/2008 7:53:42 AM

stella41b

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q8z3QFtNT4

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RE: What is important to remember as a sub/slave - 7/21/2008 7:58:29 AM

littleone35

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I will have to repeat what others said common senses is important to have. Now one of my own remember to always communicate that is very very important. Other than that just enjoy.

Matt's littleone

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