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Old collars? - 11/14/2005 4:51:02 PM   
WalterRego


Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline 		A Mistress of our acquaintance mentioned in passing the other night that she had once bought a very expensive silver collar for her slave ($600!). Later there had been serious substance abuse and other problems and after 18 months she had let him go. But she got back the collar. Then she said she didn't feel it would be right to make another, future slave wear the same collar, the next time she collared someone, she would try to trade it in or get credit for it.

Before she had a chance to explain why she felt that way, another Mistress said that it was not only "okay" for her to have another sub or slave wear the same collar, but she should do it. In her opinion it would reinforce for the future slave(s) ~and the Mistress herself ~ that the collar was not tied to the slave, but was a symbol of ownership by her, much like the livery worn by European servants in the 17- 20th centuries. And that by using the same collar the next slave would always be aware that's being around his neck was dependent on her continuing satisfaction.

As far as I'm concerned it's for the Mistress who bought it to decide for herself based either upon her feelings for the old slave or her associations with him in that collar, what she wants to do with it, but still it raised an interesting question.

Putting aside the possible questions of how soon or on what basis a collar should be bestowed, do you like the idea of a Mistress (or Master) having a collar (whether distinctive or not) which would be used for any slave who you take, and if they left or were dismissed, giving it to the next one?

_____________________________

A person should not choose the form in which he wishes to perform the service, but he should perform it in any manner the opportunity affords. He should be like a vessel into which anything may be poured - wine, milk, or water.
-Abraham Joshua Heschel
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RE: Old collars? - 11/14/2005 4:54:41 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It is GENERALLY bad taste to re-use a collar of ownership on another person.

If it's a collar you use just for play, or occasional fun, or some other purpose, there's a lot more leeway there.

But like all things, whatever works for you. If you feel it makes things better to re-use a collar, then by all means do so.

(in reply to WalterRego)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Old collars? - 11/14/2005 5:08:51 PM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		The collar is mine and is symbolical of my ownership.

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


(in reply to WalterRego)
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RE: Old collars? - 11/14/2005 6:11:05 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		If its just a play or a training collar, I have one or I'll ask if the sub has one he/she prefers.

As for ownership collars I buy those with the slave in mind so while they are mine, they are also his/hers.

If we part happily, then I may give it to them as a gift -- if they don't want it, I keep it as a trophy.

If the parting is unhappy, then I'll keep it and have a ceremony privately to remove it from my house.


_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to WalterRego)
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RE: Old collars? - 11/14/2005 6:15:42 PM   
WalterRego


Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline 		FWIW, I wouldn't even want to wear someone else's sweaty old training collar, much less one that seems to have belonged to or was made for a beloved or highly thought of prior sub.

I said, (respectfully) to the Domme, if you like the idea of livery and lessons why not get several matching collars in the first place and if a guy leaves, nail his collar to the wall.

_____________________________

A person should not choose the form in which he wishes to perform the service, but he should perform it in any manner the opportunity affords. He should be like a vessel into which anything may be poured - wine, milk, or water.
-Abraham Joshua Heschel

(in reply to thetammyjo)
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RE: Old collars? - 11/14/2005 6:46:07 PM   
dincubus


Posts: 231
Joined: 10/22/2005
From: South Dakota
Status: offline 		to me, it would be a very difficult decision. as many have said, it is a symbol of ownership, and that is understood. i can see hat aspect of it as well. i can also see the personalized nature of it too. so therefore i am kind of torn between the two aspects. if it has a deeply personal reason, then i would lean towards not using it again. i.e. if it had been a long time slave, whom had spent many years with me, then i would definately "retire" the collar. if it had been for a short time, as it seems to have been in this case, then i would be more likely, not a definate thing, to present it to the next slave should things turn out correct

(in reply to WalterRego)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Old collars? - 11/14/2005 8:12:47 PM   
MaitresseEden


Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline 		I do not take collars lightly at all, and I would guess that anyone who spends $600 on one doesnt' either, nor did they intend for the relationship to fail. I would also assume there is way to many memories associated with that collar, which would be unfair and unethical to assign to another sub. If it were me, I would have the metal melted down and fashioned into something I could wear, The going rate for Silver is about $7 an oz. or else she could sell it, take the money and buy something for herself. If she can afford the loss, then I would suggest a ceremony of sort for closure in which the collar is destroyed.

Ms.Eden

_____________________________

"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to WalterRego)
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RE: Old collars? - 11/14/2005 8:24:03 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		My ex slave's "collar" was a heavy silver ring that I made for him myself when I was learning metalsmithing. I would dearly love to have it back, not to give to someone else, but because it was MINE, and a symbol of ownership.

Ms Francine

(in reply to MaitresseEden)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Old collars? - 11/14/2005 8:52:00 PM   
MistRosemary


Posts: 6
Status: offline 		I can tell you what I do. It is probably different from others but it works for my symbolically and situationally it reinforces or helps to cut our connection.

I make my own leather collars... quite nice too... They are originally created and unique with a particular sub in mind ... if a sub really sparks my interest I create one. It is a privilege to have a personal one made by me and to wear it ... and they do so only in my home. If they are released then I may use the collar on another sub if I feel no particular sentiment or it may be kept apart as a reminder of our association.

However... each sub is given a token of our association which is personal... I know this is usually reserved for 24/7 but since I demand submissive exclusivity from them ... this I feel is appropriate from me ... They receive some form of symbolic jewelery... and this is both customized for them and with my mark on it ... and that I have allowed them to keep if we depart on good terms. .. AND I request the token back if he/she is released "dishonourably" in addition to any other wrath I feel fits the reason.

This is my way... but it is not the only way...

Be well be strong.



_____________________________

Miss Rosemary... Not vanilla just first time posting here [color]

(in reply to WalterRego)
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RE: Old collars? - 11/15/2005 7:57:57 AM   
HeavenlyCeleste


Posts: 82
Joined: 9/12/2005
Status: offline 		Collars are symbollic of ownership, but usually ownership of a specific slave. Since so much was spent on the collar she might consider auctioning it off on E-Bay or some such place, but placing it on the throat of another is bad form.

(in reply to WalterRego)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Old collars? - 11/17/2005 3:06:53 AM   
Vampirelover69


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/8/2005
Status: offline 		well in this matter there is much to consider point-1)the collar was bought specifically for a slave and that symbolizes a sertain how do you say sentimental value and reputation for that perticular collar, and if the Domme uses it on another slave then the slave who inherited that perticular collar would feel uneasy and obligated to reach the same standards as the previous owner of the collar because there is a sense that they might think they have to live up to the slave who previously owned the collar or that they aren't worthy enough to wear it cause the previous slave who had it was mich more expierienced with the Domme and could please her more so in wearing that collar they would feel like they are being over shaddowed by the history of the collar itself. 2) As i have read it would be very bad form to do such a thing because as i said in my earlier point it would place a feeling in the slave that they have to live up to some unknow level of service for the Domme. 3) a collar is special in itself and when given to a slave it has a very strong symbolic state of the slaves relationship with the Domme who gave them the collar and if a Domme releases a slave then the collar should be put away as a trophy or sold depending on the preference of the Domme. "BUT," re-using the collar is very disrespectful to the prior slave who wore it cause it's like saying that relation ship between the slave and Domme never happened and the Domme didn't care for that slave at all, and just veiwed them as another sex toy like a dildo or a vibrator. so in my opinion a collar is to be respected as symbolic reflection of a slaves relation ship to that Domme and it should be treassured and not seen as just "A TOY!"

(in reply to HeavenlyCeleste)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Old collars? - 11/17/2005 11:59:55 AM   
NeverBeenKissed


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/6/2004
Status: offline 		this is coming from a subs point of view and i do hope that is okay here.

from my point of view i would not ever wish to wear a collar that had been worn by the one before me. it would be like if my Dom and i were to get married and he gave me an old wedding ring that he had with an ex. not cool.

also when the collar is on the new slave/sub and the Mistress sees it will it just remind her of the slave before or is she really strong enough to let that relationship go all together and move on from it.

I was with a "dom" who gave me a used collar and I honestly maybe wore it a week before it just creeped me out. I wondered who it belonged to before and all those type questions. so my thought is try to return it if possible if not put it in a shadow box and hang it up as art as a reminder to the new slave that she is not afraid to let go of a slave that doesnt keep it together.

(in reply to Vampirelover69)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Old collars? - 11/18/2005 4:10:54 PM   
BlueAngelSub


Posts: 49
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		I agree that it would be in bad taste to re-use the collar however, the other option if for that Mistress to be reimburse for that collar. Next time have the slave buy the collar for training until she is sure that it is a solid relationship. Or make the final collar permanent a tattoo or brand. <~ if that isn'y a wake up call..LOL

We all feel things differently; however, these relationships of M/s are extremely personal and emotional. Sometimes you need to step away to look at things objectively before you take that collar of permanence.

(in reply to WalterRego)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Old collars? - 11/18/2005 5:09:17 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

It is GENERALLY bad taste to re-use a collar of ownership on another person.

If it's a collar you use just for play, or occasional fun, or some other purpose, there's a lot more leeway there.

But like all things, whatever works for you. If you feel it makes things better to re-use a collar, then by all means do so.



I disagree that re-use of a collar is a sign of bad taste. We have household collars, well-crafted and carefully chosen, that are House property. A servant will wear one at different stages of being collared, and if xhe leaves service to the House, the collar stays here, and -will- be re-used. In addition, we have some decorative and special-purpose collars that will be worn by whichever servant we happen to require to perform the service so related (for example, we have a bound-service set, and a dancer's set).

While it is an individual (or household) choice how to handle things like the collar, I concur with the comment from the individual that relates the collar to the position, rather than to a particular servant. It has been my experience that this attitude may be more common among those whose value life in service for the service' sake, rather than as a kinky substitute for a wedding band, but even that varies from individual to individual and from household to household.

Lady Zephyr

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Old collars? - 11/18/2005 5:59:16 PM   
luvdragonx


Posts: 388
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		This is a really interesting question, and I'd never thought of it before.

If the collar was purchased specifically for a sub/slave - he/she had a voice in it's choosing/design - then I would think that the meaning and symbolism of that particular collar would always be tied to that sub/slave.

If the collar was purchased solely for the pleasure of the Owner, I would think that it's symbolism of ownership would be transferrable.

I think there are instances when re-using a symbolic item are appropriate: a family heirloom is one example. The meaning and value behind the giving is not necessarily completely linked to the one receiving it. A man may give a woman his grandmothers ring as a token, but should they split up (and she gives the ring back), the sentimental value of the ring isn't diminished by giving it to the next woman he feels deserving.

_____________________________

Never Without Love

(in reply to LadiesBladewing)
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RE: Old collars? - 11/18/2005 9:52:37 PM   
lovingsubseeks


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/18/2005
Status: offline 		but i think that this can also lead to the sub who is wearing the used collar that he is being molded into the previous sub who wore the collar and could lead to resentment.
it's just what this little boy thinks from his expreience with a similar situation.

(in reply to luvdragonx)
Profile   Post #: 16
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