Opinions, thoughts, and questions

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LadyPact -> Opinions, thoughts, and questions (7/21/2008 11:11:07 PM)
After being here on CM for a while now, I've had a great opportunity to get to "cyber know" quite a few of the regular folks. I find that to be part of the enjoyable part of the message boards. After a while, I get to become familiar with a particular person's posting style, what skills they enjoy, how they have BDSM structured in their life, and so on. Usually, this takes a while, but every now and again, I also run across a kindred spirit. These opportunities are wonderful also, and I more happy to see that there are some things immediately in common. With that said, I think I'm pretty open to taking words written on these boards at face value. I don't often doubt folks when they talk about a particular activity that they enjoy, or something they do that they have learned. There are exceptions to this, of course. More often than not, it's easy to spot the people who have zero experience in a particular physical activity. I'm not saying it's a bad thing not to have a specific kind of play under your belt. It could be that it's just something you haven't had a chance to try yet. More often than not, I do tend to notice things that people mention that they are knowledgeable about. Off the top of My head, I can immediately think of regular posters here that I would absolutely ask advice of on subjects like rope bondage, whips, erotic writing, slave contracts, and probably a hundred other subjects that I would feel certain members of CM would have information to share. I'm the first to say that I'll never know everything, and there's always someone out there who knows more about any particular subject than I do. Lately, I've been putting this more into practice as I'm preparing for a particular presentation. The concept behind doing so, is not only to give My specific means and methods for doing certain things, but to make information available that there are other ways to achieve the same results. So far, it's been a wonderful information exchange between Myself and several folks here. Without getting into who I think is an "expert" on this or that, I'm wondering if there are other people out there who have used this site as a source of information on certain skill sets? Are there times that you find yourself contacting other folks about specific types of play that you might want to learn more about? Do you have a certain criteria that you use to determine whether or not you think a person is knowledgeable about something you might also be interested in? Or, is everybody here just pixels on the screen, who you wouldn't consider taking advice/suggestions from?

HeavansKeeper -> RE: Opinions, thoughts, and questions (7/21/2008 11:18:20 PM)
I've learned a lot from many people here, but I take every post and cross reference it with what I know. Take, for example, the recent post on whips. I regard Emperor1956's advice as expert. That's just one example. While I never use CM as my only source, I do use it as a launch platform and a place to test my theories.

undergroundsea -> RE: Opinions, thoughts, and questions (7/22/2008 1:05:42 AM)
I email Elan when in need of advice for how to flirt ;-) Cheers, Sea

LadyPact -> RE: Opinions, thoughts, and questions (7/22/2008 1:17:27 AM)
That made Me giggle a bit. Btw, you have mail. (At least, I hope you have mail. I'm such a computer twit.)

LaMistressa -> RE: Opinions, thoughts, and questions (7/22/2008 4:25:46 AM)
I used some quote from people on the "Ask a Submissive" board about objectification for a recent class of mine, to get the perspective of the other side. It was very helpful to me both in prepping for the workshop, as well as for the presentation itself.

Dnomyar -> RE: Opinions, thoughts, and questions (7/22/2008 6:05:49 AM)
Ok so I screw around a lot on here. That being said I do pay attention to what is being said on this board. So far I have learned a lot and hopefuly have a lot more to learn. When I had a question I used to ask it. The mod sort of put a damper on me doing that anymore. So now I usually go to the op posting the question to obtain the information that I need.

MsStarlett -> RE: Opinions, thoughts, and questions (7/22/2008 6:19:33 AM)
I love the fact that I can come to the boards and ask questions. Sometimes, one has to sift through the chaff to find the golden kernels of knowledge, but that's ok also. Considering the fact that I've spent half my life with no resources of information other than learning via trial and error and, frankly, my boys telling me what they like, have tried before or read about. Now, it's much more fun when I have a sub who - for example - says that he wants me to walk on him wearing my heals... I got to come to the boards and find that the proper term is 'trampling' and got a lot of very good advise. I've also gotten some less that expert advise... like how to make simple floggers... that didn't turn out so well! I should have waited until the better informed posted about the proper way to BALANCE the flogger so I wouldn't bruise my fingers using them. (I think they started that thread because they took pity on my ignorance!) Again, trial and error and learning which members of the group know what they are talking about and which ones don't. Mostly, I've learned that you can't take short cuts and the visual beauty of an item does not over shadow it's functionality. Ever.

leadership527 -> RE: Opinions, thoughts, and questions (7/22/2008 6:23:43 AM)
Hrrrm, if I didn't want to take advice from anyone on these boards, what would be left? Me logging on here to get up on a soapbox and extoll my virtues to the crowd? No, I'd definitely take advice. For me, it's a bit tricky because my orientation is not the norm here, but with a bit of interpretation, I get useful information.

chezzy71 -> RE: Opinions, thoughts, and questions (7/22/2008 7:33:23 AM)
I have used these boards for well over the past year to ask questions of all and to post thoughts and to rant and to try and make people laugh and not try to take all of this too seriously..at least some topics which some of us find redundant.That's not saying the topics are stupid or that any question is outlandishly stupid..but i do find some things posted here to be rather humorous.At any rate..thanks for being there when i needed y'all.

Missokyst -> RE: Opinions, thoughts, and questions (7/22/2008 8:58:13 AM)
I dont think I would ever ask someone online about whips, bondage, electricity, ect, if I needed advice on using them. I might talk about them in a general way, what is your reaction, what is their reaction, and things that require imput about how people react. Skills are something I prefer to learn first hand. I didn't know I drop into subspace and drop to the floor on a touch of some electrical devices. It shocked the heck out of the person who used it on me. I doubt that anyone would have predicted that outcome after chatting with people online. For a lot of things I look locally for tips, like bondage for instance. We have some great bondage ladies here that will take the time to teach techniques. There is a local guy who can snap a fly out of the air with his whip. He says he needed to know how to wield it so that any risk to his subject had also been felt by himself when he learned. Not because someone whipped him, but because in learning to whip, he felt several mistakes hit his own flesh. I do make an one exception about seeking online advice on play. Mindfuks. I like to know how people can be led to believe one thing while experiencing another. John Warren is especially good at inspiring ideas. I can say that after reading him my own ideas of messing with people's heads has improved. <g> My little 5'2" body isn't scary. My mind will screw with you until you don't know what hit you. Heh. Some people here are remarkable with their mind play. That kind of play translates well over the net. Kyst

ElanSubdued -> RE: Opinions, thoughts, and questions (7/22/2008 10:54:00 AM)
LadyPact, Quick answer: yes, there are people on the forums whose expert advice I seek out. That said, usually I qualify the person by getting to know them first (in private messages, on the phone, etc.). Sometimes I take advice from the forums and other times I contact people directly. I try to balance this with my own research and by talking to knowledgeable people in my offline, local BDSM community. Elan.

ElanSubdued -> RE: Opinions, thoughts, and questions (7/22/2008 10:58:50 AM)
undergroundsea, quote: I email Elan when in need of advice for how to flirt ;-) Say what? I appreciate (and can certainly use) all the flirting advice others are graciously willing to offer. :-) Elan.

ElanSubdued -> RE: Opinions, thoughts, and questions (7/22/2008 11:02:19 AM)
LadyPact, quote: I'm such a computer twit. And we all luvvs you for many reasons, including this one. :-) Elan.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Opinions, thoughts, and questions (7/22/2008 11:51:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar Ok so I screw around a lot on here. Sure, 'cuz you refuse to screw around in person! Ya TEASE! [8D] I listen to a lot of folks. I try hard to even listen to the blowhards that make my head explode. I'm not so likely to approach someone on here about a physical skill, I have a large number of folks here in town to draw on for that, but hearing about how others deal with relationship issues has been priceless.

Shawn1066 -> RE: Opinions, thoughts, and questions (7/22/2008 1:47:42 PM)
Oh, I think you can learn a bit from everybody. Rather or not is useful is totally up to you. I try to learn a bit from everybody...their mistakes and their successes all together. The greatest lessons of my life have been learned in the wake of some people's worst failures. Of course, there are quite a few wonderful people on this site I've learned a bit from. Most know who they are, and some don't. DV's Fox

LadyPact -> RE: Opinions, thoughts, and questions (7/22/2008 1:58:01 PM)
Shawn, I fully agree that there is almost something that can be learned from anyone. I think everyone brings their own unique style and learning opportunities to the table. Still, recently I have been putting together information on a particular subject. Anytime I do a demo, I don't want to expose people to more than just to My way of doing things. I like to give information about how other people do it, too. This is especially true in this case because it handles various types of play that can be done with different materials. I don't want people to walk away from this particular event saying to themselves, "oh, I couldn't possibly do that". I want them to go away from it saying, "Damn. That looked like fun. We might even have some of those things at home". Edited for another dang spelling mistake.

Shawn1066 -> RE: Opinions, thoughts, and questions (7/22/2008 2:05:21 PM)
That is an interesting perspective, and I think there's a lot of truth to what you say. The way my Owner and I do things can be absolutely nothing like how another couple interacts, but we may be doing--for all intents and purposes--strikingly similar acts. There's more than one way to skin a cat, and there's at least seven ways to spank a slave. :-p I think it's good to expose people to possiblilities, and ultimately to stress that they can most certainly have their own spin on things. I've personally never been to a demo, but I do thing it would be beneficial to show a handful of different ways in which you can get the same result. Or perhaps have the audience give their experiences(if such a thing is proper). DV's Fox

LadyPact -> RE: Opinions, thoughts, and questions (7/22/2008 2:10:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Shawn1066 That is an interesting perspective, and I think there's a lot of truth to what you say. The way my Owner and I do things can be absolutely nothing like how another couple interacts, but we may be doing--for all intents and purposes--strikingly similar acts. There's more than one way to skin a cat, and there's at least seven ways to spank a slave. :-p I think it's good to expose people to possiblilities, and ultimately to stress that they can most certainly have their own spin on things. I've personally never been to a demo, but I do thing it would be beneficial to show a handful of different ways in which you can get the same result. Or perhaps have the audience give their experiences(if such a thing is proper). DV's Fox It's absolutely proper. In fact, I like to make any presentation that I do interactive. I want that participation. Look at it like this. As a student, what kind of classes do you prefer? Ones where the prof has you sit and just listen to a lecture, or do you like the ones where you can ask questions and make a contribution?

MizSexyVixen -> RE: Opinions, thoughts, and questions (7/22/2008 2:20:46 PM)
I'm (relatively) new to CM, and just getting to know the regs here. I live in Indiana, which is not exactly a bastion of BDSM knowledge/culture. I am already beginning to form connections, and as they develop, will no doubt be looking for input on a huge variety of topics, since my profession requires me to learn and grow. So my answer is HELL YES!

pagankinktress -> RE: Opinions, thoughts, and questions (7/22/2008 6:33:10 PM)
I feel there are more than several people who post here who I'd be comfortable approaching for specific advice or tips relating to skill sets, etc. I've not yet reached out in that capacity though. There have been many threads with various themes which I bookmarked and found to be helpful or thought provoking which prompt me to reflect further on a personal level. In fact, I must also confess that I've recently been clipping bits and pieces of responses posted here to questions I've presented and posting them into my blog as prompts for further writing. (I did contact the mods to make sure this was kosher and got the ok. I don't post people's screen names and I provide a link back to the forum in my blog). My idea/goal is to advocate for BDSM-positive and sex-positive themes and I attempt to use my writing as one medium to accomplish this. So, when I post questions in various sections in the forums, I'm very interested to see what people's views, thoughts and experiences are or have been. I've always thought there should be a "Best of CollarChat" compilation...maybe I'll put a book together someday? =)

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