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RE: Love and BDSM - 7/22/2008 11:52:44 PM

CrazyC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

'Love' - No. Besides, if you can define love, understand it, or explain it, you've accomplished something beyond the ability of Shakespeare.

I just got back from Ashland, OR...the home of Shakespeare festival. I think Shakespeare defined, explained, and understood love. That is why there are so many plays and poems. There are just to many diffrent angles to narrow it down to one play or poem.

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RE: Love and BDSM - 7/23/2008 11:30:31 AM

pettingdragons

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We started out M/s before love...though there were feellings there...as We progressed it became love...We are M/s first then lovers (or two people in love) if the makes sense...but then everyones verson of love is different..and there are many types of love...

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RE: Love and BDSM - 7/23/2008 9:21:41 PM

KatsClaws12

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddystouch

Do you need to love someone to have a good BDSM relationship? Or do you need a good BDSM relationship to love someone*?

I have always thought of dominance/submission flowing from love. Some people are just naturally dominant or submissive, but gaining pleasure from these things is different... and I am sure most people submit to or dominate their partner whom they love differently than they have partners they did not, or how they treat friends, co-workers etc!

But I have read on the profiles of some apparently experienced and respected doms things like "we don't need to fall in love, if we get a good BDSM relationship then we'll end up loving each other". That might make sense, but I can't imagine a "good BDSM relationship" without love...

*Romantic love, obviously.

Im not sure if I quite understand what you are asking but if I am reading it right then I think that there needs to be trust first and foremost. I will say I Love my Mistress.....but I am not "in love" with Her. I do think that we have built our relationship on trust and love and it is very apparent everyday in sessions or not. I do believe to be able to grow you have to have love there all in all. Some look at love in only a few ways when in reality there are so many fascits of love. If you can feel any of those fascits then it will be better and stronger in any relationship. So if you dont "fall in love" it is ok just as long as there are feelings there that can compare then all will work out.

(in reply to Daddystouch)

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RE: Love and BDSM - 7/23/2008 9:25:49 PM

Leatherist

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There is a difference between being IN love.......

And in love with love, because you are addicted to the high.

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RE: Love and BDSM - 7/24/2008 7:17:11 AM

Masterand9k

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Joined: 9/25/2006
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Love is a four letter word! But the words that mean something to Me are; respect, trust, careing and passion

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RE: Love and BDSM - 7/24/2008 9:07:25 AM

CallaFirestormBW

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I don't need love or romance in a relationship with my servant(s). Over time, if they serve well, I will likely become quite attached to them, and will feel affectionate towards them, but love and romance -- that's a completely different kettle of fish. I'm not saying it -won't- happen, but I'm saying that, for me, it has NOTHING to do with my desire for an M/s, kink-heavy, high-intensity BDSM relationship (or several of them).

I think that many people are looking for a relationship that fulfills their desire for a lover/companion, and that, for those who are kinky, they feel the need to have that relationship include those kinky parts. They then label the relationship, according to their own preferences, and the waters get muddied as definitions take on the 'color' of so many different perceptions of what those labels mean.

I am a FemDom or Domina. I am seeking one or more servants who are service oriented and/or are interested in edge-play. I am -not- looking for romance, love, or to be someone's One. My dominance and other interests are fetishes, and I am romantically happy with the people I have in my life now. My companion, on the other hand, really would like both a servant and someone that she can enjoy a sexual/romantic relationship with. She, however, is not interested in marriage nor monogamy... which thins the pool. Neither of these expressions are wrong, and I'm happy to help her on her search and to share the servants that I bring into the relationship, since I'm searching anyway, and I don't give a whit for the romantic expressions, so she's welcome to having all of that directed at her -- as long as, in the final expression, the servants who care for us attend to the things they need to attend to, including her desire for being 'romanced', but don't get caught up in the idea that the 'romance' is the first most important thing... that their being "in service", with romance as one of its expressions, is what this is all about for me... and if my companion tires of the 'romance' (which she's prone to do...she is mercurial, and I love that about her), the service will still be the priority.

Calla Firestorm

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 7/24/2008 9:09:43 AM >

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RE: Love and BDSM - 7/24/2008 11:01:50 AM

pettingdragons

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Masterand9k
But the words that mean something to Me are; respect, trust, careing and passion

for this slave ...respect, trust, careing and passion is love.....

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist
There is a difference between being IN love.......
And in love with love, because you are addicted to the high.

they have help for peole like that.....

As with all relationship of any sort, its a to each their own. Love is like that, each person has their own definition of the word and the feelings and thoughts that go along with it......
Is romance nice, yes but it can not be lived 24/7, M/s can. Being in love is expressing that love to another, in what ever way works for you. Does Master love His slave when they are scening, having sex, shopping for cars or when His slave is being punished, in Our world, yes.

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pettingdragons
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Post #: 47