stella41b
Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007 From: SW London (UK) Status: offline
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It's not just BDSM, it happens elsewhere.. It's something I've been struggling with in theatre here in London for some time. Now you'd think theatre in London is pretty much like theatre anywhere else, you know, preparing a text or a play, rehearsing, getting a stage and performances together and going out on stage and performing to an audience. Erm no, theatre is London is all about getting a cast together of people who are prepared to work with each other. I put out ads, 'walk into fringe theatre'.. Yes, this means you can literally walk in from the street and become an actor or actress and eventually get paid for your performances. You get the text, the training, the rehearsal space, everything.. all you need to do is be there and take part. It really is that simple. Or it would be. I get e-mails 'send me details' - do what? I get phone calls 'I can't make it Wednesday, how about Thursday afternoon?' I send out copies of the play with a role marked out and they respond 'you want me to read this?' ('No you daft bugger! Rip it up into squares and use it as toilet paper!') I've had 'professional actors' who were extras on the set of Eastenders for three weekends in 1988, the sort of people you see not qualifying for the X Factor. Those that get through get as far as 2 or 3 rehearsals and then disaster strikes - grandmother dies, the Northern Line gets flooded, the car gets stolen, the boss suddenly needs them for a conference in Newport Pagnell, etc. I've spent three months avoiding people. I mean, I just don't want to jinx anyone. I'd hate to meet someone for coffee only for them to have their house collapse or to jam up the entire London Underground network through meeting the wrong person at the wrong time. My hackles rise whenever I hear someone talking about 'the lifestyle'. There is no 'lifestyle', just life, and those people considered to be in the 'lifestyle' are just doing what comes naturally and living their own way. All it seems to be to me is a series of stereotypes and of photoimage perfection where everything fits together neatly. The thing is when everything does fall into place neatly making everything possible this is when some people decide to quit and call it a day. Why? Welcome to the 'hidden agenda', something left unsaid which is usually never open to discussion. Quite often it's hard to see it coming, but when you do you're never sure and so it comes down to giving someone the benefit of the doubt and further chances, despite having doubts and misgivings yourself. I usually find that when people talk about 'the lifestyle', a division between BDSM and vanilla they're sometimes the ones who are pretending in one and being themselves in the other. 'BDSM play' isn't just about the floggers and nipple clamps and toyboxes that we all associate, but also the hearts and minds of other people. Relationships don't only require commitment, hard work and sacrifice, they also require contact and communication. It's the relationship which is the fruitcake onto which the marzipan and icing of BDSM is applied.
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CM's Resident Lyricist also Facebook http://stella.baker.tripod.com/ 50NZpoints Q2 Simply Q
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