Regret... or no? (Full Version)

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littleone35 -> Regret... or no? (7/23/2008 1:24:33 PM)

Sometimes i regret that Master was not my very first master when everything was new.  Of course with him in particular it was new and he keeps it exciting.  Sometimes i wish he would have been the one to teach me everything i know now.  I think the experience i did have though helped me be a better submissive to him than i might have been if i was new.

For those of you who are not with their  first Master /Dom/Daddy.  Do you ever regret he was not the first, or are you glad for the experience you gained?

Matt's littleone




akisha -> RE: Regret... or no? (7/23/2008 1:28:48 PM)

I don't believe in regret. Everything we go through and everyone that has entered and left our lives were there for a reason. We need those people and experiences at those times in our life to prepare us for those to follow and to make us into the people we are today.

Just my belief anyway *S*

The only things i have ever regretted was when i say or do something with thoughtlessness and end up hurting someone unintentionally.



stef -> RE: Regret... or no? (7/23/2008 1:29:57 PM)

Why bother wasting time regretting that over which you have absolutely no control?

~stef



lally3 -> RE: Regret... or no? (7/23/2008 1:51:00 PM)

im with akisha on this one..

everything you are right now is through the experiences you have had in the past.  they are building blocks and sometimes its the less perfect times that teach us the most about ourselves.

if you only ever experience perfection how can you compare it with anything else and know that what you have is precious and worth keeping safe.

it isnt time wasted - its experience gained and a deeper knowledge of who and what you are and how you came to be.



NewJustlookin -> RE: Regret... or no? (7/23/2008 1:51:22 PM)

I would have to agree with Akisha, and stef. That it shouldn't matter now that your first experience is over with and you've moved on. I'm pretty new, and I have much to learn. But as my first domia it was a good lesson for me. I learned that bdsm isn't all about the sexual intention I think of it as a added bonus. I will never regret leaving my first because it just wasn't meant to be, and I have moved on and have learned much more from my New domia, Do I miss some the sexual tension like my previous partner sure I do. But I think I have gain much more knowledge now than I have back then. Even in my crazy fantasy of having such sexual tension with my New domia I know it will never happen and I can take it with  ease, knowing it will never happen. I don't think it matters as to who was your first or last master/dominant/Mistress because life throw us curve balls all the time and you learn from mistakes, obstacles that life throws at us. But really I don't think you should or anyone have to regret about anything.  



softness -> RE: Regret... or no? (7/23/2008 2:20:49 PM)

Not at all ... I wish that my first had not been my first .. because he was a wank stain.
There is simply no way I could have what I have with DV had He been the first .. for many many reasons.

DV is the first in many different ways for me .. and that I will cherish for a long time ..



kallisto -> RE: Regret... or no? (7/23/2008 2:54:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

..... is the first in many different ways for me .. and that I will cherish for a long time ..



I was talking about this with a friend not too long ago.   Of course the "first" is always the "first" and everything then was new.   But there are always "firsts" with a new Dom.   No two are alike which means no two Doms, experiences, relationships or play times are alike.   

No regrets here for me.   I wouldn't be where I am today if it had not been for previous Doms in my life.  



littleone35 -> RE: Regret... or no? (7/23/2008 3:39:09 PM)

I was talking with Master about it is not so much a regret as a wish.

I know if i had not been with my deceased Dom first i could not appreicate as much as i do have with my Master now. 

Matt's littleone



RCdc -> RE: Regret... or no? (7/23/2008 3:50:40 PM)

No regrets.  No wishes it could have been different.  Without those who have had an impact on my life, I would not be the person I am today and I may not be with Darcy.
 
the.dark.



AquaticSub -> RE: Regret... or no? (7/23/2008 3:55:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

For those of you who are not with their  first Master /Dom/Daddy.  Do you ever regret he was not the first, or are you glad for the experience you gained?



No. If I hadn't had the experience I probably wouldn't have known what I wanted and needed. It's quite possible I could have screwed up the relationship while trying to figure it out.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Regret... or no? (7/23/2008 4:00:52 PM)

I regret that I wasn't HIS first, because I missed so many years of his life and it aches sometimes knowing all that he did and how much I wish I could have watched his face the first time he experienced something or shown him better than his ex.  I'm selfish like that.

But as for me, heck I feel blessed that my ex's could give such baselines to how what heaven truly is.

Which is pretty much what I thought about my ex when he got married this spring- he should thank me for breaking up with him (because he never would have) so he could find the woman he really wanted.



lovingpet -> RE: Regret... or no? (7/23/2008 4:22:14 PM)

I understand the desire to have had the opportunity to have been fresh and new right from the start.  Sometimes the person was not right, or the duration so very short, and one wonders should I have just waited?  What I was looking for was right around the corner!  Otherwise, with a good person and a long term relationship, I can't imagine wanting to turn back time.  When all went wrong or fell apart, I can understand some distress for having settled.  I have come to know that in life, to be able to not face regret one must not settle and still be able to have the courage to seize those opportunities in life before they pass by.  It is a delicate balance.  Sure we take lessons and build character from all our experiences good and bad, but we also deal with the fallout and the could haves and should haves.  If we don't move on from that, life will fade from the beauty it had before, but when we mourn it, release it, and move on is when we can find peace and light once again.  Mourn this if you must, but do not let it take from the beautiful present you describe having now.

Well Wishes,
lovingpet



mmsprecious -> RE: Regret... or no? (7/23/2008 4:48:49 PM)

i don't believe in regret. every experience shapes who i am. i also think that if i spend too much time thinking about the past or even the future (i do forget sometimes! no one is perfect!), i forget to enjoy the NOW.
just me though

Master Mike's precious



RealSub58 -> RE: Regret... or no? (7/23/2008 5:50:09 PM)

Life is a sweet journey...stumbles, failures (only if you dont get up), highs, adventures, mis-adventures....but always a journey.  You have no idea if you are at the destination or not.  Just enjoy. 



BeIgnited -> RE: Regret... or no? (7/23/2008 10:52:25 PM)

I don't know that I've ever felt this way. I think the relationships I've had in the past, even when they didn't end well, taught me a lot about  myself and what I wanted in a relationship, kink-wise and otherwise. If I hadn't had those experiences, it is likely I wouldn't be in the relationship I am now with a man I love. It is also very likely that whatever relationship I was in wouldn't be very healthy for me.



Dnomyar -> RE: Regret... or no? (7/24/2008 3:19:59 AM)

I would like to hope that my first submissve has no regrets. We parted because she moved out of state.



eyesopened -> RE: Regret... or no? (7/24/2008 3:31:50 AM)

I'm with the majority here.  i have no regrets about anything in my life, i thik regret is wasted energy.   i cherish the lessons i've learned and know that i would not be the person i am today without them. 

Elements combine to make compounds and each compound is different, has different properties, some good, some bad, some inert, some explosive.  Each combination is new in its own way.  my relationship with my Master is new and is a 'first' to me in many ways. 



MizSexyVixen -> RE: Regret... or no? (7/24/2008 3:31:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mmsprecious

i don't believe in regret. every experience shapes who i am. i also think that if i spend too much time thinking about the past or even the future (i do forget sometimes! no one is perfect!), i forget to enjoy the NOW.
just me though

Master Mike's precious


Well stated !!

As a good friend of mine likes to say, "if you have one foot in yesterday and another foot in tomorrow, you are pissing on today."




julietsierra -> RE: Regret... or no? (7/24/2008 3:32:24 AM)

I met my Master two years prior to meeting him for the first time the second time. Both of us knew we wanted each other. We didn't know the other one felt the same way.

HOWEVER

Both of us also knew I wasn't ready for him.

The second time we met for the first time, I had some experience and knew better what I wanted. I was more able to withstand the rigors of his inclinations.

In retrospect, as much as I'd have liked him to be the first person in my life like this, if he had been, we wouldn't be together. So I'm just fine the way it is.

juliet



SweetNika -> RE: Regret... or no? (7/24/2008 3:41:20 AM)

I do not look at most things as mistakes or failures I look at them as life lessons so as long as I learn something I have nothing to regret.



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