RE: How does all this work?

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RE: How does all this work? - 7/26/2008 1:58:48 PM

cillydom

Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
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[/quote]
Many of the most respected dominants here are also the most gracious, the least likely to take offense, and the most accepting of learning and "newness". I am not one of those but I think many would agree with that assessment of others. Anyone who tries to guilt you, threaten you, or otherwise manipulate you at the get go is a nitwit.
[/quote]

dominance is just a character trait, one of many that make up an individual, its perfectly possible to be a piece of shit and still be a dominant

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RE: How does all this work? - 7/26/2008 2:03:11 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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And it is possible to be in such a bitter mood that when you post on the boards you sound like a troll.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to cillydom)

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RE: How does all this work? - 7/26/2008 2:51:26 PM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
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Or...

Someone who thinks they are a walking...encyclopedia

(in reply to RedMagic1)

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RE: How does all this work? - 7/26/2008 5:09:29 PM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThundersCry

Or...

Someone who thinks they are a walking...encyclopedia

If you were referring to me, there are enorrrrrrrrrmous areas about which I know absolutely nothing... as I am sure you have noticed!

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to ThundersCry)

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RE: How does all this work? - 7/27/2008 12:55:48 PM

subsfaith

Posts: 297
Joined: 11/21/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: felicean

I sent out an email today to a Dominant on this site and his reply was that I am "fake" because I have talked to others. It seemed to him (after one email exchange) that I have no follow thru. So I am wondering - is there a protocol I am unaware of regarding contacting others?

Yeah, press the "AVOID THE WANKERS" button on the keyboard! LOL

People: some are nice, some are not.

It really is as simple as that. Over time you should be able to spot the more genunine folks, and those who have a similar ethos as yourself.

Thankfully we are all so multi-faceted and change moment to moment, therefore it is not possible for us to have a comprehensive checklist that will cover everything that describes any one of us. Over time, in using CM, you will come to recognise what things to look for and what to avoid.

Try not to take things personally, sticks and stones and all that. But most of all, enjoy your journey, becoming aware of yourself can be a wonderful thing.

faith
:: smiles ::

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RE: How does all this work? - 7/27/2008 4:25:23 PM

bardtothebone

Posts: 840
Joined: 9/21/2006
From: Central CA.
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When you find a Dom who appeals, send a short, courteous note asking if he'd
care to talk. If you receive anything other than an equally courteous note of
acceptance in return, block them from your mind [and your inbox] and move on.

Focus your time on those who prove they can appreciate your wondrous gift, and
your success is almost unavoidable.

The Bard.

_____________________________

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."' Mark Twain.

Why the Ice Cream? Read this...

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RE: How does all this work? - 7/29/2008 11:06:06 AM

Dnomyar

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Joined: 6/27/2005
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Mmmm I see the problem. She is a subbie in demand. She was being demanded. How come only women get these demanding people?

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RE: How does all this work? - 7/29/2008 5:27:45 PM

nwcutie102

Posts: 162
Joined: 1/13/2008
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i was told i was fake also, after speaking with a Dom for 2 months. he said i "had the heart of a slave" i disagreed. i am a "bedroom" sub, if that makes me fake, well, it is all opinion.

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RE: How does all this work? - 7/30/2008 10:12:43 AM

porcelain20

Posts: 30
Joined: 7/25/2008
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i would think that if someone calls someone else fake, it is because that person just does not meet their needs.

As a sub, i hardly message Anyone first, if i do, i try to be respectful - but the act of messaging may be considered disrespectful anyway.

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RE: How does all this work? - 7/30/2008 10:31:44 AM

smartalex

Posts: 50
Joined: 5/29/2008
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FR~I perved your profile also and agree with those who say it's well written. One word of advice--don't put an onus on yourself to have to answer every email. If you do want to respond, particularly if someone seems like they might be a resource for local information but you still don't think it's a fit, have a one-liner to cut and paste: "Thank you for your attention, but I am not the sub you seek." If someone responds to that abusively, then block em.

I had someone tell me that they were sure we were a perfect match. I'm not sure how they knew, because they hadn't looked at my full profile. I did a bit of troll-baiting and emailed back to ask why, and got the answer I expected: I wasn't a true sub because I questioned them. Hmph. Classic sour grapes, right?

And if you lived nearer to here, I would have suggestions of profiles to look at, because I have met some really fascinating people on the other side. (Good fascinating, not "wow, there should be an article in some psychology publication about you".) Also, I don't know what your "age range" is set to search, but my experience is that even through their 30s, men are more prone to being the nitwits SimplyMichael describes. I admit, it's a gross sweeping generalization and there are countless exceptions, but when I bumped the upper age limit up a bit, I noticed that even though I was no longer "fresh meat" & therefore the quantity of my email wasn't as much. . .the quality went up. After all, much of what you are looking for seems to me to be a product of maturity, and the inner qualities can go far to make up for physical imperfections.

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RE: How does all this work? - 7/30/2008 10:38:30 AM

Real_Trouble

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
Add to that the fact that males outnumber the females here by a fair amount... and you're a subbie in demand.

A couple of quick points, after reading the thread, and the first pertains to the quote above...

Yes, if you are looking for a warm body, this is true. However, I suspect the number of genuinely skilled and capable male Doms is quite low; if you prefer quality over quantity, you are always going to have to fight to find somone.

Second, I see the OP is an NYC resident like myself; I don't know what you do or where you hang, but I'd suggest I've not found anyone (that I'm aware of) who runs in the social circles I do on this site. I'm mainly here for the forums, nothing more, so depending on what you are looking for, the population of individuals who fit the criteria you are after may well be zero...

Third, use the same bullshit detector you'd use with anyone else dealing with people. "Kink" people are just that: people. Nobody here is special.

Good luck.

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Send lawyers, guns, and money.

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RE: How does all this work? - 8/8/2008 12:06:48 PM

AMaster

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The realm of BDSM and Collarme are like any other in the world. You are going to run into some jerks, idiots, liars, fakes, takers, bastards and bitches. There are also many real people here. My advice is to contact those who interest you- you may come up with a gem.

< Message edited by AMaster -- 8/8/2008 12:08:40 PM >

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RE: How does all this work? - 8/8/2008 1:15:14 PM

MasterHermes

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Joined: 5/23/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: felicean
My understanding from my readings is that it may take awhile to find someone and to be patient. I am curious if I am doing something unacceptable by talking to people and intiating contact.
Thank you for your time. If this topic has been covered, I apologize but did not see it on older threads.

My advice is not becoming defensive and angry towards other people because of these experiences. You can see many people here who are having these kind of experiences and become very cold and agressive in return. If you do that , you might also lose your chance to meet all the good people out there because of it. Do not let other people's behavior change you.

Its better to ignore people who can not hold a normal conversation, be aware that since this is a free site, there are people who are trying to use it access to free live porn. They wont enjoy wasting their time with you, so if you cant give them what they want immediatly you will be considered, bad, wrong, fake..

I wish you good luck
Hermes

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