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RE: I really don't care - 7/23/2008 10:28:17 PM

bashfulhuck

Posts: 119
Joined: 5/26/2008
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My Owner does not feel the need to micromanage me. And she does ask me my opinion, she might not always go with what I want, and I wouldn't have it anyother way.
As far as restaraunts go, her and I have very similar tastes, so it's an easy one for us. She knows she has the control of our lives, and she is comfortable with me making decisions for myself, because she knows that if she needs to, she can step in and immediately take charge. I'm a very spirited Alpha slave, and she has said she wouldn't have me anyother way. But I also know full well where my place is, and who ultimately is in charge.

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Post #: 21

RE: I really don't care - 7/23/2008 10:51:24 PM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

In another thread, something stood out to Me that some others might identify with.

As a Dominant, I don't always care about every little detail. Minor things don't hold a huge importance to Me. For example, on any given day, if I'm going out to eat at a restaurant, I really might not give two winds about where we actually go. Sure, there might be times that I want a particular dish, and if I do, as a Dominant, I will say so. However, the majority of the time, I really just don't care. To paraphrase what I said in the other thread, there are a hundred restaurants here that serve chicken, which is probably what I want most of the time anyway. I don't give a hoot if I get it from a steakhouse or a Mexican place, or somewhere that serves primarily Italian.

As a Dominant, do you really make such an investment in displaying your Dominance that you care about such trivial things? As a submissive, does it really matter to you if the Dom always picks the restaurant?

Some of the acts I do for/to My Pet are service. I have given her the option to always defer to me to make up her mind (unless I temporarily revoke that privilege). As such, the inevitable "Where do you want to go?" ... "I dunno, where do you want to go?" is ended with "Master, I'd like you to decide for me." Sometimes the little piglet (PIGGIES! [I love piggies]) will have me order for her too.

I don't pry on such trivial things, and rarely feel a NEED to pick the restaurant or food, but it is an exhibition of my dominance, something we both enjoy.

I also like chicken. =)

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Post #: 22

RE: I really don't care - 7/23/2008 11:44:27 PM

Sandyshores29718

Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline

*quick reply*

As a submissive, I pretty much like for the Dom to choose where we go as long as its not seafood and sometimes I want that. lol I can choose a place as well as him, but I'm not really a picky person, so like you I just dont really care where we go as long as we are spending time together.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 23

RE: I really don't care - 7/23/2008 11:50:19 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Monkeyontuesday

Faery --

But that's the only place I know where I can get, like, 50 chicken nuggets for $5... I'm poor..

you do know they make chicken nuggets using only boy chickies... mcd will use EVERY part of the chicken!

just sayin'....

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Post #: 24

RE: I really don't care - 7/23/2008 11:51:05 PM

StormsSlave

Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
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This is one of those vanilla flavored areas for us. I'm sure our discussion is seriously boring and borderline irritating to any listeners. We eventually get around to picking something between us.

As the sub in this relationship, I would start to question My Lord's sanity would he to start expressing his dominance this way. It comes under the heading of petty. This is the sort of ebb and flow that makes our relationship, the daily give and take.

Wherever we end up eating, he'll probably hate it, I'll probably order the chicken, and we will both have a good time just because we are together.

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Post #: 25

RE: I really don't care - 7/24/2008 12:59:47 AM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
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In general I go with the get the job done approach. Both the boys like to bar-b-que so we go to the store and get everything and then one of them cooks the meat. The same goes for house cleaning or repairs or fixing something on a car.

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(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 26

RE: I really don't care - 7/24/2008 1:21:29 AM

daddysblondie

Posts: 181
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline

Daddy and I both tend to fall in the not caring where we eat crowd. Which in the beginning led to the "I don't care, what do you want to eat?" conversations.

Now, when we talk about getting food out and neither of us cares much, I'll ask what he thinks sounds good, and he gives me choices, usually two or three and I'll pick from there.

For me it works because then I don't worry that I'm picking something he doesn't want or wouldn't like, and it saves him from feeling like he's always making the decisions. Works for other things too, like renting movies or how we're going to spend an afternoon together because I'm terribly indecisive about most things.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 27

RE: I really don't care - 7/24/2008 1:39:29 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

While keeping in mind that there is symbolism in everything, I tend to agree with LP. Some things are just not that important. I lead and dominate in ways that matter. If I've made her stand in the corner and then caned her for a good while, letting her pick the restaurant is not going to seem like that big of deal to either of us.

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(in reply to daddysblondie)

Post #: 28

RE: I really don't care - 7/24/2008 1:51:25 AM

Hime

Posts: 149
Joined: 10/31/2006
From: Vegas
Status: offline

quote:

As a Dominant, do you really make such an investment in displaying your Dominance that you care about such trivial things? As a

Although I do choose the restaurants and usually what my sub has for dinner, I wouldn't say that it's "an investment in displaying my Dominance". I choose the restaurant not because it's a "display" per se'.......it's simply what I want.

~xoxo

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 29

RE: I really don't care - 7/24/2008 2:34:52 AM

silkncarol

Posts: 318
Status: offline

I agree with treasureKY on this.....i personally like my Dominant making decisions, but i can make them and don't have a problem expressing my opinion. My last Master would play the little game of giving me three choices...of course, any of the three he would have been happy with, but sometimes it's nice to be asked......

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(in reply to Hime)

Post #: 30

RE: I really don't care - 7/24/2008 2:39:53 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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I do not feel a need to prove my dominance in any area. I am pretty laid back and do not need total control at all times. That would get boring and I am sure pretty unsatisfying for any man I would be with. It is about two and since both like to eat... I would think that would be one of those things we decided together. lol I don't sweat the little stuff! Although it might be fun deciding what to do after dinner... that I might want to decide!

(in reply to Hime)

Post #: 31

RE: I really don't care - 7/24/2008 3:11:15 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Let's go out to eat. Ok. Where would you like to go. It dose'nt matter where would you like to go. Mmmm let's go here. No I don't like that place.

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 32

RE: I really don't care - 7/24/2008 4:36:04 AM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
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Well you can always ORDER him to pick the restaurant, and in doing so, be dominant and indifferent at the same time. Expediency-that's my thing.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 33

RE: I really don't care - 7/24/2008 4:54:46 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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My Mistress would occasionally have a taste for something special and then she would let me know where she wanted to go, but most time, she really didn't care. Same idea for dinners, I decided what I felt like cooking based on what we had in the house at the time. If she wanted something special, then she would ask for it, but that didn't happen often.

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Post #: 34

RE: I really don't care - 7/24/2008 5:11:18 AM

petdave

Posts: 2479
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

Well you can always ORDER him to pick the restaurant, and in doing so, be dominant and indifferent at the same time. Expediency-that's my thing.

True, but what if he picks something and you don't like it? And so you tell him to pick something else, and you're not in the mood for that either? So he picks a third option, but you just went there for lunch with friends the other day?

That's the kind of situation i seem to end up in... i really *don't* care (i eat the same thing for breakfast every day for weeks on end... "what i want for dinner" is probably pizza, even if i just had it yesterday), and it's very frustrating to try to pick something that will please your partner when you don't know what the hell they want.

< Message edited by petdave -- 7/24/2008 5:56:23 AM >

(in reply to TNstepsout)

Post #: 35

RE: I really don't care - 7/24/2008 5:13:31 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Thanks to everyone for the replies. A lot of them were reflective of how I see these kind of things.

When I saw this little thing in the other thread (implication of the person didn't have a preference to a restaurant so the person wasn't dominant) I really kind of just shook My head about how silly the whole thing was. As a dominant, if it were Me and I had a preference, I would have said so in the beginning. If I want Chinese food, it's simply stated, and we go. In My case, if we're here in town and My sub's driving, he even knows where My preferred place is.

Giving the option means I've already been past the part where I've decided it doesn't matter to Me. Like I said in the original, I'm probably eating chicken wherever it is, so it's not that big of a deal. My sub already knows this about Me. Even if he didn't, I can usually find something I'll want on just about any menu.

Well, he does know that Mexican usually isn't the best option. I'm allergic to onions.

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Post #: 36

RE: I really don't care - 7/24/2008 5:21:50 AM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

IF I crave a specific thing, I will pick.

Somebody important said " A wise leader delegates". I put my s-type in charge of a few things, but I do have veto power. A few examples......what we eat, because she is responsible for me eating healthy. What clothes I wear when we go out, because I am color-blind and it saves me the much emberassment. Where we eat, because I will eat almost anything that doesn't eat me first. Home decorations, because, well....because I am a straight guy.
I generally have too many thoughts bouncing around in my head to have to be overly concerned about small things. If that doesn't seem to be dominant enough for somebody else, it doesn't matter.....I AM Dominant enough for ME.

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(in reply to thishereboi)

Post #: 37

RE: I really don't care - 7/24/2008 5:32:35 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

I have a friend (and teacher) who says, "The Master is the one who picks the restaurant." I love him...but disagree. I hate picking where to go. When I am faced with too many choices, I find it terribly hard to decide. It's actually related to dyslexia, I think. So, my girl and I know that, unless I say, " I want to go to X," what I'll be doing it narrowing down the choices by saying what I don't want. Then, she gives me a list from which I can either narrow or choose. It works for us.

Master Fire

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Post #: 38

RE: I really don't care - 7/24/2008 6:11:30 AM

DominantJenny

Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

We do something similar; I'll usually have him give me his "top three" choices and select from one of those when I don't happen to have an opinion (which is fairly frequently).

I think the point has been made in several different threads already that it is not the act, but the perspective that matters.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 39

RE: I really don't care - 7/24/2008 6:40:37 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

If any slave thinks that me, making every single decision in our daily lives, is what makes me a dominant then they are not my slave.

If I want something specific, then I say so. If I don't care, then I just bloody well don't care. Take care of it. Ask me if you are unsure but, take care of it. If I do not like the outcome then I've screwed up and will know better next time.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 40

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