Who is Jack Schitt? (Full Version)

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JulieorSarah -> Who is Jack Schitt? (7/24/2008 2:04:26 AM)

WHO IS JACK SCHITT?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.


Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer

magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had

one son, Jack.


In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple

produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull

Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high

school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt

divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were

living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known

as Noe Schitt Sherlock.


Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a

rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six

children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout

childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual

ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the

Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and

Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently

returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

NOW when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.

Sincerely,

Crock O. Schitt

NOTE: PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS A LAUGH.

REMEMBER: LAUGHING LOWERS THE BLOOD PRESSURE.



BlackPhx -> RE: Who is Jack Schitt? (7/24/2008 1:25:22 PM)

snicker[:D]

poenkitten



MasterGrim -> RE: Who is Jack Schitt? (7/24/2008 1:30:03 PM)

here is a link to the family history.

Enjoy!

http://jack.zunino.net/knowjack.htm



Monkeyontuesday -> RE: Who is Jack Schitt? (7/24/2008 2:43:54 PM)

I love that one



Hanable -> RE: Who is Jack Schitt? (7/24/2008 8:48:19 PM)

OMG.. i needed that.. thnx JulieorSarah

H >:)



havinfun181 -> RE: Who is Jack Schitt? (7/27/2008 11:06:32 PM)

Love it, still unsure of where Jack fits but who gives a schitt



SurrenderForMe -> RE: Who is Jack Schitt? (7/27/2008 11:54:09 PM)

I'm sorry, but until I meet him, I will still have to say that I don't know Jack Schitt.  I can't be a poser and claim something untrue.



Emperor1956 -> RE: Who is Jack Schitt? (7/28/2008 12:05:29 AM)

FR:  JulieorSarah, thank you for the fine genealogy.  However you left out a very important, and often forgotten, branch of the well-fertilized Schitt family tree.  In fact, Awe Schitt DID have a second son, but he was born a bastard.  Indeed, no one likes a Schitty bastard, so the family has done its best to hide this fact.  But there was another Schitt Scion (as opposed to the schitt Toyota, which I used to drive...but I digress). 

He is a veterinarian, and he concentrated his studies in herpetology.  He is, in fact, one of South America's leading experts on herpetiles.  His life has not been easy, however.  He moved constantly to escape his Schitty family, going further and further south.  He lived in southern Florida, southern Mexico, southern Venezuela and southern Brazil, and he now lives on a small island due south of the coast of Chile, at the bottom of the continent.  Interestingly he goes by a moniker related to his life studies.  May I suggest you add "Snake" Schitt to your family tree?  And, living wayyy down there...NO ONE is lower than Snake Schitt.

E.



JulieorSarah -> RE: Who is Jack Schitt? (7/28/2008 4:27:45 AM)

Emperor1956, i'll go back the geneologist that provided the lineage and i'm sure it will be added!



VadFarkas -> RE: Who is Jack Schitt? (7/28/2008 5:44:56 AM)

Holy Shitt... what a family!



Termyn8or -> RE: Who is Jack Schitt? (7/28/2008 7:31:22 PM)

But my question is, when and why did they hit the fan ?

T



GimpinDenial -> RE: Who is Jack Schitt? (8/29/2008 4:15:28 PM)

Erm..anyone notice that, in reality, the tree has almost NO branchs?
So..this would be known as:
Incestous Family Schitt
right?



GreedyTop -> RE: Who is Jack Schitt? (8/29/2008 4:41:26 PM)

Gimp!! hiya! how ya doin?



Saratov -> RE: Who is Jack Schitt? (8/29/2008 5:52:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VadFarkas

Holy Shitt... what a family!


He was the family religious leader.



GimpinDenial -> RE: Who is Jack Schitt? (8/29/2008 6:18:27 PM)

[:)] I am doing well GT, thanks... (nice avatar pic btw)
I have been....adjusting...to my new surroundings...



GreedyTop -> RE: Who is Jack Schitt? (8/29/2008 6:22:56 PM)

Thanks! good to see you again :)



CelticPrince -> RE: Who is Jack Schitt? (8/30/2008 11:13:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JulieorSarah

WHO IS JACK SCHITT?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.


Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer

magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had

one son, Jack.


In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple

produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull

Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high

school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt

divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were

living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known

as Noe Schitt Sherlock.


Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a

rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six

children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout

childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual

ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the

Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and

Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently

returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

NOW when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.

Sincerely,

Crock O. Schitt

NOTE: PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS A LAUGH.

REMEMBER: LAUGHING LOWERS THE BLOOD PRESSURE.

JS,

Thanks for this post, best laugh in a week.

CP



dreamofthemoon -> RE: Who is Jack Schitt? (8/30/2008 12:18:02 PM)

Thanks, JulieorSarah.  Too funny!

But aren't you forgetting Jack's long-lost cousin, Phuck Dat Schitt?  [8D] [:)]



spinninsweetness -> RE: Who is Jack Schitt? (8/31/2008 1:00:39 PM)

Love it love it! hhhahahahaha



philosophy -> RE: Who is Jack Schitt? (9/2/2008 1:32:09 PM)

........apparently when Holy Schitt died there was some dispute over the will, an event that became known as the Schitt storm.



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