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Why encourage someone to lie? - 7/24/2008 11:52:40 AM

Asmodeus

Posts: 81
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I sent a message to a submissive profile. All the message did was ask a question related to their profile. I got a response that said "thanks, but I'm not looking for anyone more than 10 years older than me." No problem, it wasn't mentioned in their profile, and at least they had the courtesy to respond. I wasn't actually interested in them for a relationship; they were a little younger than I would usually contact. But I did have a question about something they wrote in their profile.

I sent back a "Thanks for replying, good luck with your search" reply and got on with my life. A bit later I get another message from them telling me that if I dyed my hair and changed the age in my profile I would have more luck and attract younger women. I ignored the obvious insult in the message, but replied with "So you are looking for someone who is willing to start the realtionship out with a lie? I am who I am, and lying about that isn't part of who I am."

Unsurprisingly, I didn't get a response to that. But it's also not the first time someone has suggested I lie in my profile.

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Deus Ex Machina

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RE: Why encourage someone to lie? - 7/24/2008 11:59:32 AM

christine1

Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
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sorry to hear you ran across such shallow idiots on the other side...they are a dime a dozen on the internet.

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He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to Asmodeus)

Post #: 2

RE: Why encourage someone to lie? - 7/24/2008 12:00:39 PM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

.... because many would sacrifice integrity for companionship.

Its a big scary world for some and they would be willing to sell anything to get what they want, it's sad but true.

Besides .. every girl of qualtiy knows that a Silver Fox makes the best mate *winks*

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to Asmodeus)

Post #: 3

RE: Why encourage someone to lie? - 7/24/2008 12:03:03 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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Just a youngun showing their immaturity.

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Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 4

RE: Why encourage someone to lie? - 7/24/2008 12:08:34 PM

skimpytacowoman

Posts: 8
Joined: 7/19/2008
From: Fayetteville, NC
Status: offline

How embarrassing for my age group to have such immature shallow people that refuse to grow up and their their heads out of their butts. I'm sorry this girl insulted you, but she's obviously not good enough for you.

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It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

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RE: Why encourage someone to lie? - 7/24/2008 12:12:57 PM

everhope

Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

.... because many would sacrifice integrity for companionship.

Its a big scary world for some and they would be willing to sell anything to get what they want, it's sad but true.

Besides .. every girl of qualtiy knows that a Silver Fox makes the best mate *winks*

i love the Silver Fox look! i consider myself a girl of quality which includes keeping my integrity intact. honesty, about ones self whether it be your finacial situation, your physical appearance, or your past is so refreshing when meeting peope in this medium it almost makes me cum.

may we all find our bliss.

_____________________________

may we all find our bliss

Resident VWB

We all die.
The goal isn't to live forever.
The goal is to create something that will.

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 6

RE: Why encourage someone to lie? - 7/24/2008 12:15:40 PM

Asmodeus

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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I don't take issue with people who pitch insults on the internet. After all, it's the internet; what more can you expect ;)

I just mentioned it because I always find it strange when subs/slave tell me I should change my profile to make it more appealing ina way that is basically lying, either outright or via omission. Most commonly I'll be a few emails into a conversation, ask them to make sure they have read my profile, and then I'll get back a message that reads something like "You really should leave out the part about your primary relationship."

That just gives me a big "WTF?" feeling. Why would they rather be lied to?

My best guess is that they are only looking for online, aren't willing to admit that, and don't want anything to interfere with their fantasy.

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Deus Ex Machina

(in reply to skimpytacowoman)

Post #: 7

RE: Why encourage someone to lie? - 7/24/2008 12:17:38 PM

pettingdragons

Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline

poor youngin....they will never have a leg to stand going through life in lies....

to each there own....Master is 10 years older then His slave, but then she is no spring chicken either...and We are both happy that way!!!

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pettingdragons
"may the moon bless you with her light.......so you dont pee on your feet"

(in reply to Asmodeus)

Post #: 8

RE: Why encourage someone to lie? - 7/24/2008 12:17:55 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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It's the fantasy element.

the.dark.

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RE: Why encourage someone to lie? - 7/24/2008 12:21:22 PM

Asmodeus

Posts: 81
Joined: 1/1/2004
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FWIW, I usually don't consider people in their 30's "youngins"

But I guess 30 something women can be just as comfortable living in their parents basements as 30 something men.

The women who have told me I should leave out the part about my existing relationship have all been in the general vicinity of my age.

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Deus Ex Machina

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Post #: 10

RE: Why encourage someone to lie? - 7/24/2008 12:27:21 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
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Maybe it was a completely tactless and clueless attempt at giving genuine advice?

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~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to Asmodeus)

Post #: 11

RE: Why encourage someone to lie? - 7/24/2008 12:27:45 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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I've been told by several submissives and even by my ums that I should use that beard touch up for my goatee and mustache since they both contain more white than the hair on my head does. I asked my ums if I should get a hair transplant too.
It would not be me. I am what I am and I earned the gray hairs. At 53, they are not premature and I don't feel like going the "metrosexual" route. As you note, it is a form of deception about who you are and while I understand and appreciate that women color their hair and do all the "beauty" things to help mother nature out a bit and to be more appealing to their men and their own image...and while I understand that a man should care about his appearance too, it is my opinion that many guys take it a bit too far.

(in reply to Asmodeus)

Post #: 12

RE: Why encourage someone to lie? - 7/24/2008 12:35:24 PM

Asmodeus

Posts: 81
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

Maybe it was a completely tactless and clueless attempt at giving genuine advice?

So you believe that lying on your profile is valuable advice?

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Deus Ex Machina

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 13

RE: Why encourage someone to lie? - 7/24/2008 12:35:49 PM

Diphon

Posts: 39
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline

Honestly I have no idea. Tells you something about that person doesn't it. I've always believed in the old adage "you get back what you put out." sure you can write a profile based entirely on fiction and attract some good honest people, but they're not going to stick around once the deceit is revealed. If I had found out one of my partners had lied about their age, ALL trust in them goes right out the window straight through the glass, wouldn't even take the time to open it. The things we do can't really be done without trust and honesty. So if it's none existent from the start, there's no point.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 14

RE: Why encourage someone to lie? - 7/24/2008 12:38:17 PM

cantilena

Posts: 224
Joined: 8/6/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

I've been told by several submissives and even by my ums that I should use that beard touch up for my goatee and mustache since they both contain more white than the hair on my head does. I asked my ums if I should get a hair transplant too.
It would not be me. I am what I am and I earned the gray hairs. At 53, they are not premature and I don't feel like going the "metrosexual" route. As you note, it is a form of deception about who you are and while I understand and appreciate that women color their hair and do all the "beauty" things to help mother nature out a bit and to be more appealing to their men and their own image...and while I understand that a man should care about his appearance too, it is my opinion that many guys take it a bit too far.

Eh, well, I don't have any issues with a man who helps nature a bit just like we women do sometimes. If someone wants more pepper than salt in his hair to feel better about himself or to please his other, what's the harm? The old saying, good for the goose... and all that.

I agree it can go to far, but that's for both genders alike.

OP... to answer... no way would I want anything but the truth in a profile if I was looking for a dominant. When she meets you, if it gets that far, it's all gonna come to light anyway, right? I'm a bit puzzled at the advice you were given by these gals, to be sure.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 15

RE: Why encourage someone to lie? - 7/24/2008 12:39:49 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Lying about your age is so pointless... and for me, grounds for not meeting a person a second time. If they are going to lie about something to utterly obvious, what other treats are there in store?

I'm a middle aged fat broad, the colour comes off the grey really fast, and that's the end of that story. I clean up nicely, though.

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[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Diphon)

Post #: 16

RE: Why encourage someone to lie? - 7/24/2008 12:46:38 PM

cravesdom

Posts: 5219
Joined: 3/28/2008
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I get advice all the time on my profile. For the most part I just laugh it off. I have been told that they like my pictures but that I should be wearing fishnet stockings and stiletto heels in one of my pics. The truth is the pics on my profile were not taken specifically for collarme and therefore I am wearing normal clothes, not something I would wear out to a club or to please a Dom. I have never been told I should lie on my profile though.

I think that anyone who lies on their profile is only setting themselves up for trouble down the line. The truth will eventually come out and when it does it just makes the person who lied look bad. There is no way around that. When I meet someone I give them my trust until they prove to me that I cannot trust them. Something like that would absolutely be the proof that I needed. I would wonder, if they lied about their age, what else are they lying about?

_____________________________

Finally home where I belong.

"A lot of disappointed people have been left standing on the street corner waiting for the bus marked 'Perfection.' " Donald Kennedy

(in reply to Diphon)

Post #: 17

RE: Why encourage someone to lie? - 7/24/2008 12:46:51 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

That's pretty funny. One can lie about many things, but when it comes to marital status, age, and gender --- those are hard things to cover up.

(in reply to Asmodeus)

Post #: 18

RE: Why encourage someone to lie? - 7/24/2008 12:47:50 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Asmodeus

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

Maybe it was a completely tactless and clueless attempt at giving genuine advice?

So you believe that lying on your profile is valuable advice?

No.

I just think she was trying to be helpful, but is utterly clueless. I don't think she thought far enough ahead, or deeply enough to even realize that it is lying.
IMO people that so easily offer up the idea of disguising who they are, do it themselves to the point where they assume every one does it.
That it was a thoughtless automatic response from her, she sees in her mind someone who would be improved through deceit. Not thinking that it is not something that other people would automatically do.

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to Asmodeus)

Post #: 19

RE: Why encourage someone to lie? - 7/24/2008 12:48:30 PM

OTKkindaGirl

Posts: 447
Joined: 12/26/2005
From: NW Arkansas
Status: offline

*smile*

i can empathize on this and go one step further. i met an older gentleman that told me that i was wonderful as a submissive, i just needed to dye my hair bright red if i wanted to be collared to him. now, i do admit to hiding the gray but i am not a substitute for a long lost love who just happened to have red hair. i can't be compared to someone i am not. i have dyed my hair bright red before, but for it to be a condition to collaring... no thank you. i want someone to appreciate me for me. sorry this happened to you but you aren't alone, here, let me row that boat for you. *wink*

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~~ lil darlin' ~~
hope

(in reply to cantilena)

Post #: 20

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