This is an Interesting question and I am amazed that this thread isn't 6 pages long already.
The Single Life..... that is to say in the BDSM realm, in my opinion, SUCKS ASS.
Going from a 24/7 TPE or even a Weekend Play Partner to being by yourself sucks it is bad for both sides Dom and sub but I think it can be even harder on the sub.
The sub is uaually brought to functions not usually invited and often the friendships are formed among the Dominants and the play pary circuit is often governed by the Sadists, yes there are ewxceptions to these rules however in 10 years this has been how I have seen it almost without fail.
So as a sub who finds themselves single who's only friends were those of thier now former Master there can be questionable animosity and fear that comes with getting involved again. I know that where as when I say this I am sure there will be hundreds of stories where the opposite is true in most cases when two people in a community break up one tends to eventually dissappear from the scene they shared with thier partner and migrate to another scene. I know there are exceptions but like I said I have seen more people break up and one dissapear then both remain.
So what do you do?
Well firstly.... Deal with you. If you are hurt then take the time to mend those wounds rather then finding a play partner and drowning them in subspace.
Then MAKE FRIENDS!! Actual FRIENDS, not possible sexual contacts *(Unless you are like me and all friends can be sexual contacts :-D)* Make connections and NETWORK in your community. Don't just be seen as "Oh that's whats-his-names girl" Be known as "Oh that's berdachegirl"
Don't Take the very next collar that is offered, don't jump into the very next situation you come across, and don't give anyone the impression that you are desperate for a playmate. All this does is bring about the Vultures and Swing Dicks. If you are interested in someone get to know them but for gods sakes don't ingnore the rest of the world just because you like someone.
And in my opinion some of the best advice I was ever given:
"To Feel alone when by yourself is to be in Bad Company.
If you don't like being with you then why would anyone else?"
"If you want to meet someone that will fit perfectly in your world,
Meet them while doing something you already love to do,
at least then you start out knowing you already have something in common."
I have live by these words, it is how I met my wife and how I started loving myself, and not expecting to feel loved only when someone loved me.
This isn't exactly BDSM this really applies to EVERY Relationship, but then again any advice worth giving usually does.
Steel
